Did anyone else’s social circle just vanish in their 30s?

r/

I’m 35 and lately I’ve felt like everyone drifted away. It’s not personal just life, distance, kids, work. I’ve been trying to figure out how to build new connections that feel real. I even stopped going to therapy due to financial reasons and was talking to this website called Aitherapy. So the last human in my life was gone too. I miss having people in my life, not just small talk. Has anyone successfully rebuilt friendships in their 30s?

Comments

  1. mansumania Avatar

    Such as life, as we get older our priorities shift some people get married/start families and some people focus on their career. For me personally when I get off work I am so mentally exhausted (I am a senior accountant) that I just watch the phone ring for my parents or friends but I do not have the mental capcity to answer it, after a while they stop calling. Relationships were alot easier to maintain when we were younger, you have to make an active effort to meet and maintain new friendships now and carve you mental space and energy to maintain relationships and do relationship maintenance, when this is neglected is when people tend to drift away. Make an active effort to meet new people through hobbies anything you like book club, hiking ect and do the work to maintain them, text them semi regularly, ask how their doing, make brunch plans ect… so much effort

  2. Intelligent-Treat117 Avatar

    I found I distanced myself from a lot of people in my late 20’s and early 30’s, some people I was friends with for years. However some of those people evolved and came back, while I have cut off others, but my group is so small now. And I get anxiety about it becoming too big lol. I don’t make new friends easily and I’m protective of my energy. But I think it’s important to have friends, especially as a woman, but quality over quantity! Facebook groups are great ie: hiking groups, spiritual groups, whatever you’re into!

  3. illusion737 Avatar

    It happened to me too. Many of my girlfriends drifted away once they had kids, and chose to spend their free time with other parents (I am childfree). There are very few activities organized for single adults, and those are usually very expensive (travel or courses). I live in Eastern Europe, which doesn’t help since it’s a pretty traditional society that prioritizes appearances . I am considering moving.

  4. Emotional-Context983 Avatar

    Yes! It seemed to happen so suddenly. I swear over a 6 month period I just stopped hearing from other people. I was going through a break up myself so didn’t reach out as much and when I didn’t reach out, I didn’t hear from anyone. It’s a tough position to be in but also let’s you realign your values and find friends willing to put in the effort.

  5. LobsterSpunk Avatar

    Yes but that’s because I’ve had to get rid of toxic people. It sucks, but I just don’t align with them anymore. Once you see people for who they really are you just have to walk away, especially if you’re on a path to bettering yourself and your life.