Did anyone end a marriage and completely start over at 33? And still have kids afterwards.
I want a family. I’m afraid tbh that I’ll never have a family if I end this. I’m not quite sure right now about what I want to do. So this is one of the things I’m weighing my options on.
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I’m in my 30s as well & while I’m not yet ready to have kids yet, I can 100% assure you that if you’re doubting your relationship, you shouldn’t be having kids with this person! Kids will only complicate your life if you do it with the wrong partner.
It’s daunting to start over- I’ve had to do it a few times myself. But it’s always better to try again than stay with someone who isn’t deserving of your energy and love.
Why don’t you want to have kids with who you’re currently with?
I started over a couple years ago after leaving an 8 year relationship. I found the man of my dreams shortly after, at 32. We’ll be 34 this year, planning on moving in together this year as well. We’re also planning marriage and kids eventually. I know a few couples that are divorcing in their 30s as well. I honestly couldn’t be happier, and I’m thankful everyday that I never settled for my miserable but familiar relationship.
My husband was married/separated to someone else when we met. He was 33. Thankfully they didn’t have any kids together so it was a clean break. They were officially divorced a few months after we met.
8 years later, we are happily married with 2 year old twin boys ❤️
I’m 35 ,recently single and no kids yet. I eventually want kids and i hope to meet someone.
I did at 31. 2 kids now
Lots do. I didn’t but thanks to social media I’ve seen many in my fb friends. I’m 42 now. A friend had her first at 38, her second at 40.
Yep. Met my husband the month before I turned 34. We have two kids.
Yes. Many people have.
Even if you might struggle a bit, it’d still be better to navigate that with a supportive partner than “settle” and get pregnant with an unsupportive partner which will make for difficult parenting/life.
I started dating my current partner at about 34. Had our baby at 36 and I’m pregnant again at 38. Neither baby was planned but we are happy and excited!
If you’re choosing between ending your marriage or having kids, I can’t imagine the having kids part would make up for the bad marriage part.
I’m not sure how much help I can be from experience. I’m 35 and still single as a pringle after almost getting engaged in my late 20s. I’ve never been sure about kids, but I do feel sad at the prospect of not getting to decide that with a partner. That said, I also realize that we can’t have everything we want in life. I’d much rather stay single longer and end up with a fantastic partner, then push a relationship that already isn’t working that well into parenthood so that I can have kids. You have to decide what’s best for you, but if you’re already considering divorce you might as well go to a sperm bank to have a kid as a single parent. I know someone who did that to have two bio kids and she’s thrilled with the decision. Good luck!
Yes. Divorced at 36. Covid lockdown happened a few months later. Then I had a baby on my own. I wish this had been my plan all along.
🙋♀️ I did
But also, do not hang on to a relationship out of fear.
ME I did lol! I divorced at almost almost 30, moved several states, met a great man (younger than me by 6 years) and we are expecting our first! I never thought my own family would actually happen for me; and I’m nervous but over the moon about it! Currently 33 and in my 3rd month of pregnancy. It’s possible.
I’m a 32F and wanting to get married for the second time if I could just find a decent guy!!!! The market is freaking sad and pathetic. Most men on dating apps are liars, cheaters, felons, or abusers.
A friend of mine did this at 39, she was fairly lucky to get pregnant quickly. I have plenty of friends who had a split with a partner in their mid-30s over whether or not to have kids. People in the dating market generally seem more decided.
My ex husband and I split at 27.
By 32 I met my fiancé. A year later we were engaged and living together. Then had our beautiful son a few months before turning 35.
My doctor clearly stated that anytime before 40s for kids was good, it’s really only over 40 that they start seeing more issues. So you definitely have time to build a whole new life!
If he’s not the one, end it. You still have time. But don’t waste more time if you know.
Started over around 33 after 10+ years in a relationship that should have ended at 5 years and a job that was killing me. Currently 36, ending my first year at a job I enjoy, and due any day with my first baby. None of that was easy but it was necessary to change. Someone had told me 5 years will pass no matter what you fill that time with, and it’s true. It helped me a lot.
I met my now-husband when I was 34, we got married when I was 37, and I had a baby at 38. The baby was a surprise because I assumed I was less-than-fertile between my age and a history of chemo. Turns out I assumed wrong!
33 is really young!!!! You can do whatever you want too!!! 👍
I can’t tell you I started over and have a family. But—I can give you maybe some practical advice, because of what I discovered at 33. Go to your gyno and ask to have a hormone panel done. Without insurance it’s like $90. It should be testing Estradiol, Progesterone, Testosterone, Lutenizing hormone, FSH and AMH levels. This will give you a good picture of how many eggs you have left, and what your options are.
They don’t normally run these tests until after women have had trouble conceiving for awhile, but you can ask for them. AMH shows your ovarian reserve (how many eggs you have left.) If your estrogen is low, but your levels of FSH are high, that can show ovarian insufficiency. If your levels come back normal, you’ve got time. It’s different for every woman, some women have high fertility in their 40s, some drop off in their 30s. According to my gyno, it’s only about 1% of women who have ovarian insufficiency in their early 30s, but it happens.
These are not routine tests that are done, and they should be in my opinion. The reason they aren’t, is that “anything can happen” and if you’re still having periods you can get pregnant. But if you’re worried about how much time you have, this should give you an idea.
My friend was divorced and single at 33. She went on to start dating another divorcee who had an adult daughter. They got married when she was 37 and they had a kid when she was 40. No fertility treatments needed.
You’re not starting over at 33 if you get divorced now. You are much more knowledgeable about yourself and relationships!
I got divorced a year ago. I was 36 and I am turning 37 in a couple weeks. I’m remaining hopeful I’ll find all of that , but I made the conscious decision to not rush into or force anything . And if I’m being honest , I’ve realized I really need the time to heal. Hoping to still have all I’ve dreamed of !
My mum did!
She was married to a man (we’ll call him John) she loved very much. For some reason we still have printed film photographs of them together. I’m not sure why my dad is cool with it but he is? I guess there’s a lot of trust there. She was MADLY in love with John according to my mum’s bestie (her and I are close). They were together for a few years but he didn’t want children. Mum thought she could overlook it, or maybe she thought he would change his mind. Neither of those ended up happening, so she left him, I think at age 30 or so.
She meets my dad. They get together. Mum knows she wants a kid, she’s deadset on it. She gives birth to me at 33.
I know this might sound trivial but when you look at the picture of her and John how much she was in love with him is absolutely palpable. She made a very difficult decision to leave the love of her life to birth the second love of her life (me 😝). I consider that starting your life again, really. Walking away from someone you love is….. tough. But I think she’s happy, I believe she believes she made the right decision.
I was 33 when I restarted my life and got in contact with the man who is my forever person. We’re going to get engaged this year, and we are discussing kids in the near future. I just turned 34 and he just turned 41. My family is elated 🙂
I was in a toxic relationship for over 5 years before that and I thought my life was over. It was not. Keep going. You got this.
My first husband left me at 34, almost 35. At 36 I got engaged and quickly married to the right one. When you’ve messed it up before you know how to do better, and when you know you know. At 37 I was pregnant, and at 38 I had our only kiddo. We’re happy. We have ups and downs but we are committed to doing better every day for each other and our little guy. It’s possible. 🙂
Hi! Wasn’t married but left a 7 year/house/dog long term relationship at 30. Dated (far longer than I should have) a guy for about 2/3 years and it wasn’t working. Had a chance to take a dream job and move to another state I always wanted to live in at 33. Met my now husband via Tinder when I was 35, we got married when I was 37. I am now 36 weeks pregnant at 39 – due date is a month before I turn 40.
I married my 2nd husband when I was 34 and had children at 35 and 40.
This is a whole plot line in Sex and the City! Let Chatlotte show you the way.
Silliness aside, get out first and then figure it out. I am 32 and just ended a 5.5 year relationship. We lived together for three of those years, and I was pretty much desperate for marriage and a baby for most of the relationship. Now that I am out, those goals have faded, and I am much more content to enjoy my hard won freedom (and so, so relieved to have no permanent ties to that man). When I was in it, I think I saw marriage and family as a way to justify all that I endured in the relationship, my reward for sticking it out. Now that I am single again, marriage and a family seem a bit less appealing, at least for now in the immediate aftermath of the breakup. Regardless, I feel more confident that I can make my own happiness, whether I have a husband and a child or not. Who knows? Maybe it will be the same for you. Only one way to find out!
Had my son’s at 35 and 38, you can still have a family. I got married at 34.
Yes, a good friend of mine did. He and his wife are early 40s and have a baby.
It’s not a guarantee. The odds will be lower. But it can and does happen.
Do what you need to do.
Had 1 kid at 37 and 1 at 43 🙂
Yep! Actually, at 31. I asked for a divorce after a decade of “let’s just keep trying to make it work” until I just finally had enough. We were both hurting each other mentally and emotionally. I swore I wouldn’t date for a loooooooong muthafkn time BUT, the universe had other plans. An old friend came around, we had an immediate connection the first time I’d met him so when he came back around, that same feeling hit and we really hit it off well.
Fast forward to present day, now 34, we are engaged and trying to get pregnant. I’ve never had a kid but he has one, who is now a young adult and starting her own path in life. So for him, he is “starting over” but it’s a happy start over. We are all excited and talk about our future baby a lot so it’s really beautiful 🥲
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If you’re not happy, it’s okay to make changes. Everyone’s situation is so different from one another and all I can say is, it was 100% worth it. 🙂
Can we start a club 🥹😅
Got married at 24, got divorced at 31, dating during COVID was pretty weird and I really freaked out I had lost my chance at having a family. Ended up meeting my now husband at 33 and got married at 34. Started trying around 35 almost 36 and ran into fertility issues. Had one miscarriage and in that process discovered a second unrelated (and more severe) fertility issue that is only addressable with IVF and genetic testing. Currently 37 and starting IVF soon, so we’ll see how it goes. Currently waiting for my fertility specialist to refer us to a genetic counselor before we start a cycle.
My particular fertility issues are genetic and would have been a problem even if I had started sooner, but since I hadn’t tried before I was almost 36 I just didn’t know. Of course age is a confounding factor makes it harder to have a baby (and makes egg retrievals with IVF less successful), but there is a still good chance of being able to have at least one child with IVF and I am fortunate that my parents are able and willing to help with the cost which is especially important if it takes more than one round.
What I have learned through all this is that so much is just luck. You never know what is going to happen in life and sometimes you just need to go with your gut and do what you think is best at the time and take some swings.
My aunt didn’t meet her partner until she was 35, and they got married and had kids!