Me [27F] and my boyfriend [32M] work together and have a mutual friend at work that laid her head on him last night, seeking physical comfort bc she had a tummy ache. I will note the important points: that my boyfriend is a wonderful partner and a thoughtful and faithful guy. That the straight female coworker who snuggled up to him in our public workplace is married, and they have no real relationship besides being each other’s counterparts at work. We have stressful, fast-paced jobs and he works on one side of the facility while I work mostly on the other (while mostly in each other’s sight.) What I’m kind of floored by is that he needed me to spell out to him in no uncertain terms why this makes me uncomfortable—why the nature of the relationship he has developed with her has created an environment where they are both comfortable with a moment like this—wherein she has a tummy ache and lays her head on my man for a sweet moment of comfort. And he pats her head, affirming this as acceptable behavior for everyone involved. Moreover, some standers-by (total strangers to all three of us parties) quipped to me that they’re cute together. I’m not an inherently jealous person, and I literally know in my heart and gut and brain he would never cheat on me (i.e. sleep with another woman, indulge an emotionally charged relationship otherwise, etc.) but I’m feeling right now like I can’t trust him to not make a fool of me.
Chat, what do we think??
TL;DR: female coworker rested head on my boyfriend’s back because she “ha[d] a tummy ache” ; boyfriend doesn’t see a problem but I think this crosses a line.
Comments
Honestly, I wouldn’t be concerned by this.
Offer him an example with the roles reversed. Personally, I would not be okay with someone I loved resting their head on some other dude’s shoulders.
Oof. I think she crossed a line and he probably froze like a deer in headlights. My wife wouldn’t be a fan.
Ya…. would he be ok if you did what she did to another man…
This sounds like it might just be a ‘work wife’ situation. But it’s still kind of odd because you work there too, and everyone knows you two are a couple.
It may be innocent, but, to me, the fact that other coworkers were snickering about it would be enough to say it was borderline inappropriate behavior.
If she’s a mutual friend that’s close with both of you this honestly sounds pretty innocent. It sounds like a brother/sister vibe rather than flirty. However, if she keeps crossing a touchy feely boundary and it makes you uncomfortable then you should tell her to knock it off.
Why do you write so weird?