If you had a friend or family member or neighbor that just never moved out or moved out really late in life say 40s or older, how did they turn out?
Was it mostly unheard of?
If you had a friend or family member or neighbor that just never moved out or moved out really late in life say 40s or older, how did they turn out?
Was it mostly unheard of?
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Yes and it turned out terrible.
I knew my a relative who lived with her parents until she was close to 50 and the parents passed away. I think she moved in with a boyfriend after that and then back to her parents home.
She passed away around age 60 in financial debt. Never really learned to plan for herself. I think she passed away due to cancer but she didn’t go to the doctor for checkups so she caught it to late.
He had a job, he just never left home. He took care of his mother after she got dementia. She died and he’s retired, still living in the house.
It wasn’t unusual, just the urban version of the kid who stayed home and inherited the farm.
He had repeated nervous breakdowns but still managed to keep his job. Both his parents have passed on now and he inherited the house, the cabin on the lake, and lots of money. Still as jumpy as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs at 65 years old.
Never married, no kids
My 30 year old daughter. But to be fair, she’s pretty autistic and can’t really manage on her own.
Ya…the dude was fucking Asian prostitutes at massage parlors
Well, I was on jury duty on a case involving a 40-year-old guy who never moved out. He got bored one night, drove down the street, tossed a Molotov cocktail at his neighbor’s house, and when his neighbor came out, he shot him point-blank in the face with a shotgun.
All because he wanted to see what it was like to kill someone.
At least our guilty verdict got him out of the house, but now he’s in another house he’ll never be leaving.
My cousin was raised by his grandma and still lives with her. He’s at least in his mid 30s now. He didn’t have his first job until he was 25 or 26.
Haven’t seen him in quite awhile, but he at least seems happier than he was when he was younger. No idea what’ll happen once his grandma passes.
I can think of three right off the top of my head. All three did ok for themselves, living a quiet life, a couple good friends, decent jobs but nothing ambitious. In each case, they took good care of their aging parents at home until they died, and inherited the house, though caregiving is usually a long and thankless task.
I have an elementary school friend (who would be 64), who never left home. She, one of her two sisters and her only brother are still living in the same family home her family moved to in 1972. I have lost touch with her since her mother died about four years ago but at that time my friend seemed stuck in a world where everyone outside of immediate family was “hard to get along with” and she’d never held a job down for more than a year. I suspect the three of them will stay there until the last of them goes into a care home, there is no other family since none of them ever had dated or married. Her one sister that did leave home got a nursing degree but died in her early 40’s of breast cancer.
My parents’ neighbor is in his 40s and still lives at home. He is obese, works part time at Best Buy, doesn’t cook or clean, pays no bills/rent, and smokes weed frequently. He refuses to get a full time job because he “doesn’t want to be a slave to capitalism.
His mother complains that he refuses to do any chores. The only things he does are take out the trash and drive her to appointments. His mother cooks and cleans for him. He spends his money on games, PC parts, weed and DoorDash. Mom pays all bills.
His mom has been sickly more recently. She is struggling to care for herself and him. She is looking for someone to help her at home a few times a week. Problem is that her requirements for a caregiver include taking care of her precious baby boy as well. No one wants to take care of 2 people for the price of 1. Her sister and nephew have been helping her but they are fed up with him.
The mom has coddled him all his life and he is going to pay for it once she passes/moves into a home.
One of my brothers didn’t date much if at all. Stayed living with my parents after graduating high school, as I and the rest of my siblings married and moved out. He stayed living with my mom after my dad died and then stayed in the house after my mom died.
At 50 years old he joined OK Cupid and met someone online, divorced with two adult children. They hit it off amazingly, similar interests to fit together well and enough dissimilar interests to explore together.
She was perfect for him, loves him desperately, and meshed with our family as if we had always known her. They married a few years later and are very happy. Been married for 11 years now. Her two adult children adore him and he them.
His step-children are both married now with kids, so now in his 60s he has a loving wife, loving kids and their spouses, and grandchildren that are all over him. He just retired last year and is excited to be able to spend even more time with his grandchildren.
It makes my sister and my brothers and I very pleased to see him so happy.
My cousin is like this. He’s in his 50s. His mom is in her late 70s. They live in his late brother’s house bc the mom inherited it after he died in his 30s of aids, sadly.
He seems like he’s happy? He doesn’t like travel or anything. He works at a grocery store and has been there like 25 years. I’m not sure he has any friends. He’s never had a girlfriend/boyfriend. But when I see him like every other year, he is nice to talk to and has a good sense of humor.
My kid’s fiancé has a 30yo brother who still lives at home. There are no signs he plans to do otherwise. His life is all books. Rarely socializes. Idk if he was always like this or if burying himself in the basement with thick books resulted in him becoming like this. During holiday gatherings at the home, he sits with company and reads. No interaction. Fiancé is odd, brother is odder. Fiancés mother LOVES my kid. I think she worried about both of them failing to launch.
I know a woman who never left home, and I think it ruined her life. She never had a life of her own. No friends, no dates. She acts like someone twice her age. When her parents pass, she’s going to be lost.
My husband didn’t leave home until he married me. He was 42. The man loved his home. We bought the house next door and still live here. 31 years.
Not well, one had some mental health issues and the other friend became an alcoholic and commit suicide.
The next-door neighbors where I grew up. The mother was an old woman at the beginning, to my childish eyes, who moved there with a daughter. Said she was a widow. The daughter was around the age of my eldest 2 siblings, about 10 to 12 years older than me. They said the daughter was really weird, in high school together. Well, the daughter grew up there, and stayed there.
She eventually got married but still lived with her mother. Her husband would come by sometimes and they had two sons. Still living with her mother. It was said that she just wanted children, not a husband.
She was the same age as my siblings but she was an old, feeble woman WELL before her time. Hardly able to walk, all grey hair, and very old looking. She passed away (the mother had passed years before) and her sons continued to live in the house. They had ridden a short bus to school, if you know what that means. They were recluses, never seen outside until my last parent died in 2009. My nephew moved into the house after my brother bought it from us other sibling after we all inherited it and gave it to his son.
I haven’t heard anything else about the two boys (men), but I doubt their lives changed very much since then. Should ask my nephew about them. They would probably be in their 40’s to 50’s now.
My dad was born in 1916 had a cousin Larry who was a harmless fellow that didn’t do an honest days work in his entire life. Always lived with his mother and eventually died of emphysema after smoking two packs of cigarettes a day for his entire adult life. The only honest work he ever did was when he joined the Marines because his mother wouldn’t buy him a car. No matter what pleading he did with his mom she was unable to get him out of the Marine corps ,so he served.
I only remember my dad’s cousin when I was growing up through my early teens. An adult man whose only joy in life was spending two dollars with a bookie betting on horse’s and smoking cigarettes. He never drank other than occasional beer and certainly didn’t do drugs. My great aunt always provided food and shelter for her son, but he was little more than a beggar.
I really didn’t comprehend the tragedy of his life until I was a little older. I never understood why family members did not make a greater effort to push my great aunt to let go and allow her son to try to stand on his own two feet. Always seemed to me that my family just accepted that he was a nonentity just existing. I also never understood why I never had a deep conversation with my dad about his cousin. Clearly I had a sense about his failure in life and also treated him as a nonentity.
My brother, moved out at 50, after sneakily living with my mother in a retired community. He finally had a steady job, but he struggles financially, lives in the worst neighborhood, no car. He has nothing going for him, thanks to having a mother that spoiled him.
Here is my Brother. The story is not exactly the same, but pretty close.
He is the youngest and the old male. My Sister and I obtained college degrees, great jobs and were completely settled before we married and had children.
“R” never went to college but did end up with a good lifetime career driving for UPS. That was the only positive. He got married at 20 when his GF got pregnant. My parents (MOM) subsidized a home purchase for them. She immediately got pregnant with baby # 2. Divorce followed. He remarried and went through a second divorce. He was now 45.
He then moved in with our Mother in her SFR where they continued to live together until she required a assisted living at about 85. He was now 50, so he was permitted to share her retirement care apartment. He paid a pittance and she prepared his breakfasts and planned ahead with the facility to pick up his dinners and next day lunches.He locked his room, disappeared on weekends and lied about everything to her.
After her passing, he liquidated his percentage of investment assets.He only wanted cash and built a giant home in the middle of nowhere where winter lasts 8 months out of the year. A few years back he”hooked back up” with the most gold digging woman in his price range. They flew back an forth for visits ( they live in different States) for a few years before she achieved her goal of a marriage proposal. In the two years they’ve been married, two cruises, one being the honeymoon.They still live in different States.
He lives alone in an absurd home he decided would be his dream when he was about 35.
Our Mom was the enabler. She pushed my Sister and me. But always looked on R differently. In her final years, as he was approaching 60, she always did nothing but support, defend and enable an unsustainable lifestyle. She would have turned 103 yesterday.If she were still alive, he would have never moved and would still be expecting her to order his lunch.
Friend of a friend came from a large family and was designated early on as the parents’ caretaker. She had a college degree but never persued a career, never moved out, never married, never had kids. Just helped her parents around the house. It’s really sad.
Loser
Had a friend, he was the funniest MF I ever met. We knew each other since elementary school.
In his early 20’s he began to get odder and odder. One afternoon we were sitting about stoned in his basement and he was over on the other chair with some survival type rifle, just cocking it and snapping the trigger, over and over. I began to get a bad vibe and came up with a reason to leave. Another time he called me at home, my parents house at the time, and asked if he could move in with us. He had beaten the crap out of his dad. At that point I stayed away.
He’s about 67 years old now. Still lives with his mom. She go to be pushing 90. I don’t know what he’ll do when she dies. I hope she set him up with a trust fund. They do live in a nice part of town.
I see him in stores every few years. He picks up on what happened in 1977 like it was yesterday. Talks real loud and honestly is quite annoying.
I feel bad for him. This all happened in his early 20s so Im guessing schizophrenia, but I don’t know.
I’m a little ashamed of staying away, but I really think he was getting unpredictable for a while.
Yes. She was a heavy kid. Not huge, just heavy. Graduated highschool. Stayed with her parents and grandma in the same house. Her dad died in a car accident. Then her grandma went to a nursing home. She passed away.
She worked in retail part time. Then her mom needed full time care so she quit to care for her mom. When her mom died after 10 years my friend had gained a lot of weight. She was on disability at that point too. Once her mom died she sold the house and had to go into a care home.
She had jobs, but just never moved. She’s now mid-60s and lives in that same small house. Her parents are dead, and she works part-time. I’m sure her life was fine.
Ever seen Psycho? Kind of like that, Norman is a good boy!
April fools!
Never ask advice on April fool’s Day
Quite common with many Native or Hispanic, multi-generational family members live together for one reason or another. It always seems like at least one younger member hangs around to take care of the eldest. Lots of enmeshed codependent family dynamics at work.
My friend’s family was living with her grandparents, does it count? Her father never moved from his parents. He got married, had a daughter and they all lived in that appartment. Normal life for many families at that time.
My brother in law lived with either his mother or his father and stepmother until his early 40’s. He got married and had 2 kids in his early 50’s. He’s always been a blue collar workers but he’s got tons of money saved for retirement because he didn’t pay rent for all those years, he just saved and invested.
Worked with a guy that told mom and dad he was not leaving their answer was to move and gave him the house
Died a Virgin
As a child my ‘50s neighborhood had a taciturn ‘old maid’ who lived her whole life at home with her then elderly recluse parents.
She drove her dad’s drab grey stick shift Studebaker to her cashiers job at an Army-Navy store on Main Street and played the piano and organ at St. Anthony’s Roman Catholic Church and Fox Theater.
When I was a teenager and worked in the local hardware store she’d come in with a shoebox filled with television tubes, use our tester and buy a replacement for the one that had failed. She would also buy paint, always plain white.
I remember trying to have small talk with her was like pulling teeth. My boss nicknamed her Miss Wurlitzer and told 16 year old me that she was married to Jesus.
My BIL had a short, one-year marriage to one of the worst people ever.
Rather than do the normal guy thing after the divorce such as frequent strip clubs or have meaningless one-night stands, he moved into his parent’s basement at age 33. Hasn’t moved out since. He’s 59 now. He’s an engineer and makes really good money, but he has this weird vibe about him as if he’s not really fully adult
My son, 34, he has a cool job, I’m actually pretty glad to have him around as otherwise I’d be alone after losing my wife. He’s been pretty helpful and takes care of me in his way.
A great uncle on my mother’s side lived in the farmhouse he was born in until he died. He was single until age 52, no kids. Lived to 91.
He was ok, not a weirdo or anything like that.
I’m renting a room and my bf’s half sister is one of my roommates. She’s 36, lives in the living room full time, pays nothing for rent or utilities, has two kids (4 and 10) by different partners that both left her, one of them left and isn’t in his daughter’s life anymore. She has a job paying less than minimum wage and works a few hours a week.
Instead of dating to find a committed partner and possibly a good father figure for her children she hangs out with a loser gang member guy that also isn’t independent in his late 30’s and doesn’t have a plan to do otherwise. She yells at her kids all day, doesn’t care to improve her parenting to make the household peaceful, just inconsiderate in general. Eats all day and is 5’2 and weighs at least 300 pounds.
Her mom complains about having to pay for her daughter’s rent and utilities, but doesn’t do anything to push her to be better, when my bf questions his mom about enabling her to be this way for the rest of the her life (or until his mom dies) she just says “you should see how hard it is to have kids” as if single moms don’t work to support themselves while raising their kids all the time.
I think it’s really selfish that she’s occupying the living room and dining room, leading us to all be cooped up in our bedrooms, our bedrooms are our “all rooms”. She doesn’t care, will do anything to get free room and board. We hear her drunk with her sex buddy who she degrades herself for, cooks for him, is obsessed with sex, picks him up, lets him stay when he gets kicked out of whatever living arrangement he has (probably couch surfing) she’s by far the biggest loser I’ve come across in life so far. I think her mom’s a push over and since she complains a lot she needs to have her daughter to listen to her gossip and complain because she knows my boyfriend and I don’t tolerate that.
I also think that since his mom is single getting older she wants to incentivize her daughter to stay without having to pay rent and utilities to take care of her in case something happens because she’s constantly stressed and uptight complaining and works a full time night shift labor job so she knows she’s probably at risk for multiple health problems. It’s just a really twisted family dynamic that they have and I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand why they are the way they are and why her mom does so much for people that are obviously using her
I’ve had aunts who always lived with their sisters and cousins who never left my uncle’s house. Used to be just how it worked in my Irish/polish/Italian extended family (and my Chilean/Mexican//Puerto Rican friends’s families). Really only wasn’t until the Reagan ‘80s where it started to seem unusual.
I’m Italian American so of course I do lol. In old school families they see no reason to move out if you don’t have to. Why would you leave people who love you and live alone spending all your money on rent when you can be saving money, giving mom a purpose (remember I said old school) as she loves to cook for her family and dote on her loved ones. Where I live a lot of us have mother daughter homes or brownstones where the entire family has their own apartments or suites so they have privacy but come together for eating, socializing etc. I see how people not used to this would be freaked out by it but I see nothing wrong with this. My husband has only lived in his mother’s house, an apartment in his grandma’s building and now we live together close to his mom. He is very family oriented. He helps out his mom and talks to her twice daily to check on her and I like that. He has worked his entire adult life. We’ve been together 25 years. He appears to be fine to me lol
Both my aunts lived with their widowed father til he died. Then they were roommates til one died. The last auntie lived quite nicely into her 90s, healthy and independent til her last breath.
She’s my role model, I should be so lucky.
I have two cousins in their 60s, sisters, who still live in their childhood home. Their dad is still alive, in his 90s. They look after him as they did their mom before she passed away.
One of the cousins, a librarian, lived out of state for 15 years or so but returned home a while ago after being laid off. The other, a teacher, never left. Both have retired from good careers, enjoy their social lives, and seem content. They’re interesting, well-read, funny, and wise. No case of arrested development there.
So not many happy stories when living at home forever
I’m not old, but I’m a 42 male and lived in the same house with my mom until she had a stroke last December that left her paralyzed on one side and with cognitive difficulties. As of now, she is in long term care as I can’t take care of her alone (due to severity, but also financially limited so can’t just stay home with her and magically pay bills). So I live here alone for now and it feels empty.
I go visit several times a week and continue some Physical Therapy after she was discharged from Skilled Nursing due to plateauing in Therapy when at the previous location (insurance basically called quits on paying for it). She’s slowly regained more strength in her weak leg, but after the discharge unfortunately. Hoping she can regain enough to eventually stand or walk on her own (can’t even stand supported yet), or at least be able to assist in transfers due to currently needing a Hoyer Lift to be moved out of bed.
We both still hope and plan on getting her back home one day. Even if it might not happen.
I worked with/for her for 20 years in child care as well until she needed to retire due to other, previous health conditions. She was a single parent since I was less than a year old due to father passing away. She also took care of my grandparents and helped family/friends regularly.
I’ve never had a relationship, never wanted one, no “real” friends for about 20 years (had some online for a while—lasted years). If I was tested as a kid, I could guarantee I’d be on the spectrum. Pretty much only care for my mom and last surviving pet (16 year old cat this year). Never been big on my own well being (depression and anxiety, depression more so when younger, anxiety is worse now—or the depression is just universal at this point and impossible to tell the difference anymore).
I’m sure a lot of people would probably consider me a loser, but that doesn’t matter to me.
Most Family and Friends would consider me a good son. A lot of people would consider me a good person. Those are more important to me.
Mom was always everything to me really and I saved up extra cash I made to help her with anything. Wish she had told me more as once she had a stroke I learned of a lot of things she never told me about (I’m now her POA, trying to do right by her as much as I can given new circumstances when she was entirely Independent the night before her Stroke—which is hard to accept still for both of us).
I make enough to pay bills alone still, but I’ve always been a minimalist which helps.
If someone had to describe me in one word however? It would probably be unambitious.
Family has always been importantly to me though, but also never really wanted one of my own for some reason. So I feel lost now since her stroke when I’m not with her, and can’t really do much to help her either with paralysis and everything else that fell on her all at once.
So… I’m still kicking, but trying to see where the future is headed as well. Before the stroke, we both had bigger plans to fix things up as things were turning around more positively. Now, most of my savings have been depleted in trying to help her and who knows what’s ahead for either of us.
My mother’s cousin was a WWII vet, having stormed the beaches of Normandy on D-day. He always reminded me of Jim Varney (Ernest!). His father died when he was young, and he always lived with his mother in the small town where he grew up. I thought he felt obligated to take care of her. But after she died, he moved to Hawaii and got married. I like to think of him sitting on a Hawaiian beach somewhere just chilling.
I have known three people who never moved out of their parents’ home. My great aunt. She never married. After high school she became a receptionist and medical translator for a local doctor. She lived at home. My great grandparents were both dead by 1980. She then lived with a couple of widowed sisters. Honestly? It was like the freaking Golden Girls. They were always having so much fun. RIP to the aunts.
Then in my neighborhood was Jeff. Jeff was probably a young teenager when I was born. He was always kind of a loser, dropped out of school, and did whatever. I grew up, moved away, and would visit my parents. Jeff was quietly living in a camper parked to the side of his parents’ house.
I’m 50. Jeff is still living at that house, and his parents are in their 90s at this point.
The other two (men) I know have boomeranged back to their parents’ homes a couple of times over the years. They’re in their late 40s. At this point, I think they’re there for good.
Family member whose mother still got him up and washed his hair for him in high school. He was an only child and babied beyond belief. Dad was disabled, only mom worked. He sucked off them through two kids of his own and is still leeching off his mom today. Has always been a selfish piece of shit, but she got what she paid for: a kid who never left home, did anything around the house, or cared for his own kids. Just a leech.
Had another one. Different side of the family. Raised by grandma, who spoiled him to death. He had every toy from the shop – no shit. Turned into a nutball before being the town idiot became fashionable. He was so looney not even the cops would take him – couldn’t pass the psych test. Anyhow, he put grandma in a home after she gave him everything, and now he’s lost to history. No idea where he is, and no one else knows, either. No big loss. But kinda scary to think of him out there, if he’s still alive. He was truly deranged.
My brother lived in the family house for 60 years. He joined the seminary out of eighth grade hoping to become a priest. He stayed for ten years coming home each summer, received a college degree, and decided to leave with just two years remaining before he would be ordained. He moved back home full-time with our widowed mother and aunt. His life revolved around his job, church, sports, and family. He never dated but was fairly social in group gatherings. After my mother and aunt passed us siblings let him live rent free for 25 years until we had to move him into assisted living for his final few years.
My brother. He’s 51 and never launched. He rarely works. He can’t even hold down a job delivering pizzas. I told my father to give him the lion’s share of any inheritance because I can’t support myself and that boy’s lazy ass in retirement. I didn’t word it that way, of course. But my brother always used “I didn’t like it” as an excuse to leave a job and just sit at home watching movies and making Lego models instead.
He’s not my kid and the most my brother will get out of me after our father is gone is a sandwich. Maybe. I didn’t bust my butt in jobs I wasn’t crazy about sometimes just to support someone who made no effort and learned it was okay to mooch off others.
My uncle. He went in the navy after high school, I think because my grandfather had retired from the navy. He was in for four years, then came back home. And he never left again. He didn’t have any friends. Didn’t socialize with anyone outside of our family. He worked as a security guard, and that was pretty much the only time he left the house. He lived in my grandparents basement. He died of kidney failure in 2015 at the age of 62.
One of my cousins who is pushing 50. He will live to be 110. No stress and not a care in the world.
His parents died in a car accident, so his grandparents adopted him. They were quite old. He never left home when I knew him; worked in a hardware store and spent most of his spare time on his gigantic sport card collection; women weren’t in the picture. His grandparents died when he was relatively young, and he just took over the house. I dropped out of contact around then. I hear that he did eventually get a girlfriend.
I have a friend from childhood who never left her parents’ home. She wouldn’t have made it by herself alone, though. Her father died while she was in her early 20s, and her mother died about 10 years ago. She moved in with her aunt, who took advantage of the land and money that she’d inherited. Her aunt died 2 years ago, and she moved in with her aunt’s daughter. That was the last I heard of her, because her phone was disconnected after that.
My brother is a drinker, 65 and lives in mom’s basement but hasn’t always. Struggles to keep himself sober. Mom is 87. Works for them, it seems. Alcoholism runs generations in our family. Could have been me. I’m not going to judge.
my sister is in her 50s and still living with my mom.
I’m 48 and living at my parents house.
I did move out, but had a very brief marriage and divorce, which produced a baby son and I’ve been skint every since, so am living with my parents..
When I was married, our neighbours were a woman and her son around my age, we thought it was a bit odd, but I’m like that now.
My son’s now 16, he lives with me full time at my parents, it’s a weird dynamic because my dad hates having my son around, and I’m not sure my mum likes it much either, they’ve never been proud grandparent types even when he was small.
Anyway, once my son has done his exams in a few months he’s planning to go and live with his mum. I’ll probably go travelling for a few months, or maybe longer, as I can live cheaper in Asia, and possibly even get a girlfriend after 16 years single. I work for myself online, but have recently started a new business and it’s not certain it will earn well, currently earning nothing.
I will feel quite guilty leaving though, both because my parents are elderly (though not really needing care yet) and because my son is still young, though I’ll try to persuade him to visit me.
Looking ahead for my son, he might never be able to afford his own place, I wouldn’t be surprised if he always lives with me or his mum – with the cost of houses I would think it’s becoming pretty normal to never move out.
I’ve actually known several and all of them I must say were not the most social of people and preferred having a smaller space to live in. They all worked amazing jobs but didn’t like to go out much apart from work.
In Germany, that is not that uncommon. It’s not as in “the good ole times”, when 3 generations lived in the same house, but you still find it. My siblings and I grew up in such a house.
My family lived in the same area since 1501, and in the same house since 1830. My sister moved out, but my mother and I live in the same house. It’s a big one. 2 houses, in some way.
Yeah, my uncle never left home and became my grandparents’ caregiver. He turned out fine.
My cousin. When she got a scholarship to a university, the whole family moved to be close. When she got a job teaching at another university, the whole family moved. She lived in the same house with her parents until they died. She only ever went on a couple of dates. She’s probably still a virgin, although I’d never ask. She’s now in her 70s so her entire life was “daughter”.
My aunt is 60 I think, she lives with my grandpa still and she has a very well paying job as a lab technician at St. Jude’s hospital
So my SIL lived with her parents until both died. She took care of both of them in their declining years. She’s 80 now, still living in the family home, Never married. Dated off and on but just never found someone she clicked with enough to marry. She’s very busy and has many friends nearby. She worked as a HS librarian for 35 years and was very active in her community doing volunteer work and random acts of kindness. For several months she let a family of 13 live in her house with her because theirs burned down. She has a small 3 bedroom house with 1.5 baths but she somehow figured out how to make enough room for them all and a bathroom schedule that worked for everyone.
Although her sight is declining with MD she still works several days a week with a local charitable group. They mostly help clothe and furnish housing for new immigrants who have been vetted by social workers. She washes and repairs all the donated clothes and organizes everything for them. Plus shops 2 days a week for food for their pantry.
She also finds needy elders in her immediate community that need errands run or she takes them out to dinner monthly. She buys clothes or grocery gift cards or bus passes for the janitor at her old HS from time to time as he has no car. Walks 2 hours to get to work and 2 hours back. Is often hungry as he doesn’t make much. She also spent 7-8 years helping a blind neighbor with everything-paying bills, getting to doctor appointments, getting household repairs done and overseeing a cleaning service. He finally passed away and she helped his sister in another state finalize everything.
She lives simply. Doesn’t take trips. Just prefers to stay put and use her modest income and time to help others. She has many friends and stays close to her extended family. She’s an incredible Aunt to all her nieces and nephews and now great nephews coming along. Never misses birthdays or Xmas. I give her our clothes that we used to give to Goodwill and donate $$$ annually to her so she can help even more people as she always has a list of needs and it makes her very happy to be able to do more. She’s very content with her life and very inspirational to all that know her.
My ex BIL, was a latebloomer. He went on dates with women in his 30’s and met his now wife when he was in his late 30’s. He now has a kid with her. She’s Japanese and my ex inlaws adore her (obviously) but were also very excited to have had a reason to visit Japan to meet her parents. Otherwise perhaps they would never have went! Their granddaughter is so cute. Omg. It just had to happen this way….. !
My brother never moved out. My parents treated him like he was special needs. He wasn’t. He had this weird mentality that if they were going to treat him a certain way, then he will act a certain way, so that didn’t help.
He wanted to go out on a date. The first girl he’s shown interest in and unfortunately his last. She wanted him to meet her at a theme park an hour and a half away (gasp!) and also at night (gasp!). You can’t go! You’ll get kidnapped! Take your younger brother as a chaperone!
He didn’t meet her, didn’t try to arrange anymore dates. I feel like this could have been his one chance at love and having a life outside the family.
He was happy working at a restaurant. My mom pestered him to train and work to start a business with her. Now they’re pretty much spending 24/7 with each other. I see them talking at each other, but not hearing anything the other has to say anymore. Don’t get me wrong. My brother loved my mom. It’s just not healthy to spend that much time together when you’re barely tolerating each other.
My brother died at 45. He had a lot of health issues that he ignored and by the time they were being addressed, they had already done a lot of damage. I think a lot of it had to do with how unhappy he was and he didn’t feel the need to take better care of himself.
The Married at First Sight season 18, husband David. According to the public’s reaction, he created a whole new interest in men “living at home at 43”. How’d he turn out? The jury’s still out.
I had a friend years ago, whose brother was still living at home with their parents, though he was over 30. Now, to me, that’s not strange. What was, was the fact the man seemed to have no life aside from work; he never went out by himself or with friends, didn’t have any interests or hobbies, didn’t date, or anything. Aside from eating dinner with his folks, he hid himself away in his room. In fact, if he were not at work during the day, I might’ve thought he was a vampire, for he was extremely pale and somehow ‘lifeless’ looking.
Since my friend was so different from her only sibling, I couldn’t help but ask what his ‘story’ was. Did he have a physical or mental illness, that caused him to be so isolated? Her answer was, “He was normal until third grade. Then his BFF moved away, and he never seemed able to form a connection to anyone else.”
The parents, despite being fairly outgoing themselves, were apparently OK with that, and never tried to get him involved in the Boy Scouts. Little League, or a church group.
My aunt lived with my grandma until my grandma passed and then ended up choosing to live in a group home. It was sad. When she was 18 she had gotten pregnant after moving to the city with friends. She ended up getting pregnant by a man that was Mexican and my grandfather was irate. He made her move back home and leave the baby for the father to raise. She was never the same. I think she had a nervous break after that but she was never checked until she was much older and by then she was a shell of a person. Her daughter tried reaching out to her when she turned 18 and was disappointed at what she found. It was a lot for anyone to take in. Mental health wasn’t taken very seriously back then.
My mum’s best friend never got married or had kids and stayed living with her mum right until she past. It didn’t seem to prevent her from having a life/career. She used to moan about her mum like any child would about their parent but they both seemed quite independent.
When her mum died she got the house etc. I think she was lonely after her mum passed, sadly she got cancer and then it spread so she passed herself 2 years after.
I have a friend of mine we were so close throughout highschool at one point I considered him one of my best friends and we even dated at one point briefly
But his parents never really encouraged him to leave and right when everyone started moving out he went through some pretty big set backs and never seems to have emotionally grown past them
Last I heard he works part time at a tire shop, still lives at home, me and my other friend who was also close with him haven’t spoken to him in years, no social media, or partner, dude went full ghost
Shame because despite his brutal temper he was very bright, a decent artist, extremely empathetic to his friends and he showed up for me in a lot of hard times but now I have no clue what we would have in common
I know someone who briefly moved moved out, then was back home. He would have a couple of weeks afterwards he would try living with a girlfriend only to back with his parents. (Failed musician). That should tell you everything.
They saved a lot of rent money
My bro left for about six months. Had a psychotic episode and been back ever since. He in his 60s.
My son refused to move out. Found a girl that loved him and she moved IN with us. Marriage lasted 12 years and produced a beautiful daughter. Son and wife separated. Wife was having troubles and she, her boyfriend, their daughter, and my son’s daughter all moved in with my son and I. Now that I’m moving slowly through my 70’s it’s amazing how convenient it is to have a huge family unit prepared to take care of an old woman…
Son is gainfully employed. Granddaughter is turning out great. Everyone gets along.
One uncle never moved out from his parents, stayed when my grandpa died and lived with grandma the rest of her life. That generation never talked about it, but I’m sure he was gay. He was a fun guy, very sweet, great uncle, loved him. But he could not live the life he likely wanted to live. He should have been born 40 years later.
My friend is almost 50… 🤦♀️🤷♀️
My uncle. This one’s kinda nuts.
He lived with my grandparents, trashing the room he stayed in for over 45 years before my grandpa passed and the house was sold. He was in and out of jail, off and on with drugs, worked mostly in construction and had his (also-never-moved-out-of-parents) wife move in with them before it all went down.
Before my grandpa passed he pointed a 🔫 at a family member and was arrested again, attended the funeral in jail. My parents told his wife she needed to find a job and they’d help them get a place to live. His wife was so distraught by the loss of their home and his incarceration that she walked out on a highway and ended her life.
He moved across the country after release years later, married again and seems to be doing really well heading towards his 60’s. We’re on decent terms now, but it seems like he’s got a job and is pulling his weight, and above all he’s sober now.
It was a wild ride I didn’t want to be on for most of my childhood, though.
Edit: I’m so sorry I didn’t realize what sub this was. I thought it was r/millennials lmao… but this is a story about people all 45+ so I hope it’s welcome anyhow.
My dad. He lived in central London with his parents all his life until they died. His mum died when he was 24 and he lived alone with his dad after that. My mum later moved in with them too, so it became a family of 3 again. They had me when my grandpa died
In my culture kids stay home till they get married. If they don’t they remain in the family house, of course contribute financially and with the upkeep and daily running. It does not make sense to spend so much money for a different residence unless you’re starting a family.
Yes. I was really surprised. She was a friend at school. Very smart, top national level athlete with lovely personality and attractive. He family were lovely and pretty wealthy.
At a reunion turns out she never left home but did her studies locally a was top of her game professionally. She wants embarrassed about it. She just liked it so good on her. She found her groove I guess.