Did you lose the motivation to see your friends as you’ve aged?

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  2. Bomb__diggity Avatar

    We drifted apart over time. Then I moved to the other side of the city and lost all contact.

  3. Restless-J-Con22 Avatar

    Everyone still drinks like fishes and so until they get to the age where they can bear to do anything without drinking I’ll still be here 

    Can’t go swimming in the mornings, still drunk. Can’t go bike riding, too hungover. Doesn’t want to bird watch, that’s not rockn’roll, etc, ad nauseam 

    I still like to see bands at the pub, I just want to remember it 

  4. Buzzwalk Avatar

    No. I have only a couple true, loyal friends that I’ve known since childhood. I will always be there for them, as I know they will be there for me.

  5. ebonyxcougar Avatar

    Yes but it’s more about each of us growing into our own lives and to-dos. I’m at a point now where I’m trying to prioritize friends again. Marriage and career are on auto pilot and I kinda want to get back to more fun girlfriend-time.

  6. nomadnomor Avatar

    all my friends are dead, so I am in no hurry to see them again

  7. Available_Year_575 Avatar

    Yes, they gradually fade away until there’s one or two left, and you see them rarely

  8. DisciplineHot7374 Avatar

    I sure did. At the ripe, old age of 18.
    That was decades ago.

  9. NotDazedorConfused Avatar

    As you get older you go to more funerals than parties…

  10. 306heatheR Avatar

    Life got busy, and once I had a family , I found that I’m related to the most wonderful people to also be friends with,.

  11. stuck_behind_a_truck Avatar

    No, I have more friends now than I ever did. I grew up lonely and isolated and my friendships are important to me. But I’m only 55, so they are all still alive (knock on wood).

  12. CaptainDeathsquirrel Avatar

    No, I lost the ability. They moved to other states.

  13. Routine_Mine_3019 Avatar

    When I was in college, my friend’s father told me I would be lucky to have 3 good friends when I was his age. I thought he was crazy, but he was absolutely right. After you finish school and start work, you will make work friends and customer friends. After you have children, you might make school parent friends. These are important connections, but they aren’t the kinds of friends you will share personal secrets and problems with. It’s just a natural attrition that happens.

    It sucks when you retire and your children are grown, because then you basically lose those friends. That’s when you have to make new friends or re-establish some old friendships.

  14. Overall_Chemist1893 Avatar

    There haven’t been a lot of people I’ve been close to over the years, but there were a small group of folks that I guess I could refer to as friends. However, like others have mentioned, some of those folks and I drifted apart over the years. I was in radio, and I had friends in certain cities; and when I no longer lived in those cities, I just didn’t see those same folks as often. And let’s be honest: I’m now 78, and some of the friends I had in the music biz are no longer alive, sad to say. So, it wasn’t about a lack of motivation– there are a few old friends (and former colleagues) that I do still keep in touch with. But others, I no longer have much in common with them, as it was our work that brought us together.

  15. Sufficient-Union-456 Avatar

    Nah, especially after kid turned adult and moved out. More social than ever. Went on a double date with the wife and best friends to a comedy show tonight.

    Went out with my other best friend and his new girlfriend on past Monday. They are coming over for dinner coming Monday. 

  16. medhat20005 Avatar

    May take effort, but absolutely worth maintaining those relationships if you want to age optimally (obv there are exceptions, but I think this is true for the majority). Hate to state this, but you reap what you sow. I know same age folks that simply don’t have that network because frankly, they’re not all that nice, and that s&*t catches up with people eventually, so they’re now old with no one that truly cares about them. I view that as terribly sad. For me I’m the old person that still benefits greatly from social media (except Tik Tok, which I don’t have. Too old-person paranoid about security). So while I’m not calling people all day on a land line, I do have a pretty big and varied cadre of friends and acquaintances on the socials that I can interact with and follow. In person I also probably have a larger than most network that I tend to like a garden, and has been incredibly fruitful and rewarding. Age presents its own issues of time, health, and competing priorities, but for me the ability to connect is uniquely rewarding and I hope it continues unabated.

  17. Traditional_Age_6299 Avatar

    Certain friends, yes. But they weren’t real friends anyway. Just more fair weather ones

  18. kosmitka777 Avatar

    I lost the motivation to have friends.

  19. HopefulAd7290 Avatar

    Yes. They become different people after graduating school.

  20. Medill1919 Avatar

    What friends.

  21. tasjansporks Avatar

    Friends? I’ve lost the motivation to get off the sofa.

  22. TheDevilsAdvokaat Avatar

    Never had many anyway, and we all drifted apart. The last friend I saw in person was about 10 years ago.

  23. The_Motherlord Avatar

    Yes. That and time doesn’t seem to feel the same to me as it does to other people. 5 years go by and it feels like a few months.

    But mostly, the company I enjoy most is that of my sons and their wives. My ex-husband and his girlfriend, my ex-in-laws. So family.

  24. rgk0925 Avatar

    I am in my late 60s my friends are mostly in their 70s. We are at different places in our lives.
    They were fortunate enough to have grandchildren when they were in their 40s and 50s my first grandchild was born a year and a half ago.
    I am currently doing daycare for the child. My friends did this when they were in their 40s and 50s.
    It seems they can’t understand why I want to spend as much time as possible with my granddaughter. We have drifted it apart as all they want to do is go to the casino.
    I’d rather spend my time and money on making memories with my granddaughter.

  25. Bunny121314 Avatar

    Friendships have just become different I suppose. My closest friends I’ve known since high school. We talk a couple times a month, see each other when I travel back home (I live in another state), or they come here, several times a year. We’re all living our own lives, but know we’re there for one another if needed.

  26. Brilliant-Onion2129 Avatar

    Yes definitely but I also know they were no good for me and the only good one died in a car crash☹️

  27. Gnarlodious Avatar

    No but they lost the motivation to see me.

  28. uncle_chubb_06 Avatar

    Sort of, definitely have lost contact as we’ve got older.

  29. ZzzzDaily Avatar

    No. Not at all. We don’t see each other as much because life gets busy with other things that take our attention. Jobs, children, house, etc. Also, people grow and change and move in and out of your circle. It’s all part of being an adult. Cherish the people currently in your circle and don’t worry about people who are out living their life.

  30. Significant-Yak-2373 Avatar

    Yes. It took 50 years for me to realise my friendship with my closest friend had run it’s course. I finally saw the egotistical, narcissistic, personality disordered behaviour for what it was. I gave too much of myself to the friendship and realised how one sided it was.

  31. tasukiko Avatar

    No, everyone is just busy and or tired. Like if it’s not something I have to do like work or errands or housework or medical stuff or body care or kid stuff then it just isn’t a priority.

  32. youdontask Avatar

    I live so far away from all my old friends…. A lot of them think “differently” than I and can’t put it aside… A few of them and I are so far apart sometimes, our asses touch, yet friends since 1978 until now…
    I have one friend that I have known and been friends with since we were 6 years old and we are 63 now… He is like a brother to me…
    I lost all my friendships when I joined the service and left …. Nothing is ever the same after that …

  33. TooBlasted2Matter Avatar

    75 male. I live outside the US but manage to see my 3 best buddies at least once every 3 years. And we text at least once a week.

  34. Auntienursey Avatar

    If by friends you mean people in general, I have zero motivation to see anyone 90% of the time. I’m enjoying my solitude and lack of drama.

  35. DistributionOver7622 Avatar

    Only the ones who showed their true colors, and showed me that they’re not my friends.

  36. XRaysFromUranus Avatar

    The motivation is still there but I’m pickier about who I spend time with. I’m grateful to have a core friend group for activities and a bff. I stay in contact with 2-3 old friends, from high school and past jobs. Quality over quantity.

  37. harmlessgrey Avatar

    I haven’t lost touch with my friends at all. If anything, they are more precious to me now. Especially as we are all starting our retirement journeys. It’s so interesting hearing about people’s plans. It reminds me of when we were young adults.

    I make a huge effort to stay in touch via technology, social media, postcards, phone calls, and visits.

    For those of you who are lonely, I would suggest getting active on Facebook.

    I know people like to hate on social media, and proudly say that they “don’t do Facebook,” but for me it has been a crucial tool for avoiding isolation.

    I’ve reconnected with former classmates, distant relatives, close friends, former neighbors, former coworkers. Knowing what they are up to on a daily basis makes it easier for me to pick up the phone and talk to them. It keeps us all connected.

    When you set up your Facebook account, be sure to adjust the privacy settings so only your friends can see your posts. Research this carefully. Don’t accept friend requests from people you don’t know. Start small and go slowly.

  38. cnation01 Avatar

    It’s not lack of motivation, it’s time. I’m tired after a long day at work. I love my friends, I’m just tired man.

  39. Sufficient_Tooth_949 Avatar

    No they lost the motivation to see me, I tried to keep it alive, but at a certain point i could talk to a wall and have a better conversation…..so I stopped trying

  40. BionicGimpster Avatar

    I’ve outlived all by friends. I now say that I’m friendly to everyone but friends with very few (none)

  41. TheRealCrustycabs Avatar

    a fucked up body and fucked up sleep patterns have made me lose motivation for just about eveything

  42. powdered_dognut Avatar

    They’ve moved or died. It works out, I pretty much don’t want to see anyone anyway.

  43. Embarrassed-Cause250 Avatar

    Yes. People, their priorties, and tolerance level change constantly with age. I just couldn’t and still cannot with some of my friends.

  44. Fluffy_Cheetah7620 Avatar

    I lost the motivation to see my wife’s friend lol.

  45. HolyToast666 Avatar

    Between the 2016 election and Covid, things had changed. I just don’t have time for the bullshit anymore.

  46. Conscious_Border3019 Avatar

    I’m not old old, though I’m old enough by the definitions of this sub! I started investing more in my old friendships during the pandemic, when I saw how miserable isolation is. I feel more connected to my friends and the world at large than I did, say, a decade ago. And the older I get, the less introverted I am in general.

  47. [deleted] Avatar

    No. My longtime friend, a kid I met at high school football tryouts in 1968 and I get to meet up often. He’s an honorary uncle to my kids and my great-granddaughter adores him. He’s the best person I have ever met, the only one I can trust and he was there for me when my wife succumbed to leukemia. 

  48. Bay_de_Noc Avatar

    I have, but I also have the luxury to be as introverted as I like … and I like my own company the most. I know other people that continue to enjoy active social lives with lots of friends. Its all down to each individual … and the circumstances.

  49. implodemode Avatar

    I have avoidant attachment issues. I’ve never been motivated to see friends except to get away from my family growing up.

  50. Pitiful-North-2781 Avatar

    During covid I reflected on the friendships where I was always the one to reach out and make contact. I stopped reaching out, and they never did either. I don’t miss any of them.

  51. Dknpaso Avatar

    Much more passive in the quest for sure.

  52. Emptyplates Avatar

    Ish? We all live so far apart now that it’s difficult to get together.

  53. KtinaDoc Avatar

    Unfortunately, yes. If I was in a better place, perhaps it would be different.

  54. Mobile_Gain7087 Avatar

    Yes since they turned 11 it just hasnt been the same the laughs are gone the jokes are gone the boners gone. I so sick of having to make new friends everytime they turn 11 ( they expire after 10)

  55. MrsPettygroove Avatar

    No, I just wrote them all off but two.

  56. Livid_Refrigerator69 Avatar

    I’m happy staying home doing my hobbies, pottering in my garden. My family is enough for me.

  57. DanielDannyc12 Avatar

    You definitely start sorting out which friends to prioritize

  58. EdgeRough256 Avatar

    Unfortunately, yes. I‘m happy to connect on social media though. Not up to entertaining (we really can‘t afford it).

  59. Mysterious_Tax_5613 Avatar

    I have. I’d much rather talk to them over the phone than getting together. And, my friends feel the same way.

    We get together occasionally. But, I think we all like our solitude, too.

  60. BMXTammi Avatar

    The fact they all moved is a big factor

  61. Peppysteps13 Avatar

    Yes but only after the pandemic. I got used to being alone and found out that it’s ok.

  62. Gold__star Avatar

    No. It’s just much harder to get to the ones still alive. Driving long distances is difficult, airports are hard to navigate. People move away to be near family.

  63. Far-Dragonfly7240 Avatar

    Mostly the people I really liked to see have died.

  64. whozwat Avatar

    Definitely, love socializing virtually rather than in person nowadays. But I get the sense this isn’t just an age-related thing.

  65. Sabbathius Avatar

    That. And also the realization that a lot of my friends weren’t really my friends, they were just there because of proximity, convenience and habit. As soon as one of those things disappeared, so did they. And for my part I didn’t go through the extra effort to try and retain them either, so this went both ways. In general, at this point, I view friends as more of acquaintances. I have no illusion that if a lot of shit suddenly hit my fan, I’d be on my own outside of some lip service and maybe a care basket.

    Biggest part was, I think, that our life paths just massively diverged. Just going back 20 years, I don’t know what I would even talk about with some of those people. We just don’t intersect any more.

  66. Ok-Afternoon-3724 Avatar

    Lose motivation to see my friends? Thinking … no. I have, however, lost the motivation to have to do much traveling to see my friends.

    I’m almost 75 and partially disabled. Well, I can get around but with limitations. Only one lung left and it’s not in the best shape. And both knees are bad. So I’m not going to be doing a lot of dancing, or hiking, walking mile after mile, etc. Still drive, however an hour’s worth of driving without stopping if tough. I don’t know what’s behind it but about a half hour at a time is a limit for me. At that point the brain is starting to drift, wants to shut down, go to sleep. I have to stop and get out of the car and walk around a bit. Just sitting, and doing nothing … doesn’t work for me any more. Who knows why? I can sit and work on my laptop, reading the news, hanging around Reddit, etc. doing something, keeping mentally active and sit for some time. But I’ve driven for 6 decades, there is nothing about it that requires just a lot of thought on my part … so boredom sets in, and if that happens I want to fall asleep. Not good if on the road.

    Many of my long tome, closest friend have either died, or are like myself and are now scattered around. All of those remaining now live from 75 miles to several hundred away. So we don’t see each other face to face very often any more. Just saw a few a couple weeks ago, got my daughter and her hubby to take me, as we gathered for a funeral of one of us. I can remember when I thought nothing of a 10 hour drive with only absolutely necessary stops for fuel. And I have driven, when younger, for up to 22 hours at a shot one way, followed by 22 hours back the other way a day later after 8 hours sleep. But, no more.

    Besides, for those old, long time friends, we know each other so well that we don’t actually need frequent meetings. One of them, my daughter, 44, commented about. He and I ran into each other at the funeral I mentioned, and we started talking like we’d last seen each other 5 minutes before, even tho it had been 5 years. Hell, I’ve know that guy since 1969, in Vietnam. There is no need for us to ‘get to know’ each other all over again.

    Most friends I see these days are actually fairly new. Friends of my daughter or her husband, who I live with. Several of them have become my friend also, even though younger. Of my old friends most are concentrating their time on their family. Spending time with their kids and grandkids. Just like I do.

  67. Taz9093 Avatar

    No. I have the same 3 friends from high school and we get together at least once a year. I’m always happy to see them because we live in different areas. We also have a group chat to keep us up to date on everybody.

  68. MissiletotheMoon Avatar

    Motivations change. Interests change. I’ve reached a point that I don’t reach out or interact, but haven’t had a lot of friends. Time passes, focusing on different things. One friend ghosted me after I’d told him I’d gotten remarried. “Will keep in touch.” I’ve learned what that means, but I didn’t reach out to him either after that.

  69. kimmycorn1969 Avatar

    No I haven’t going to dinner with a group sat for Shauna’s birthday same friends for 50+ years! I know it’s not the norm but it’s true big groups all stayed friends 🥰

  70. RonSwansonsOldMan Avatar

    Yes, I lost my motivation when they all kicked the bucket.

  71. duhrun Avatar

    Nah but I am never around the area.

  72. MakarovIsMyName Avatar

    over the years, without fail, the people i have had in my life eventually push boundaries they shouldn’t have, so I remove them
    from my life

  73. AcrobaticProgram4752 Avatar

    No. I’ve had them since we were kids. Were not around each other all the time but we get together and I love them and we understand each other on a deep level. I’ve had the luck of being able to make friends with ppl older and younger most my life. I like ppl and I like to get to know them. Who we are, where we came from and our history. Even the most avg person often has fascinating stories. But I can see life getting so full that you just don’t have time to keep in touch. But I really love some friends I’ve made that I don’t see anymore. If I did I’d be comfortable just jumping right back in. Friendship to me isn’t about possession or having to expect things it’s more about coming to know and like the person for who they are and will always remember our friendship with love.

  74. Commercial_Wind8212 Avatar

    I just read the obits

  75. Desperate_Ambrose Avatar

    No, I’ve lost my friends as I’ve aged.

  76. Sufficient_Layer_867 Avatar

    It’s not so much that I’ve lost motivation, but that I hate disturbing my very comfortable routine.
    Yeah, touching base. That’s nice. I’d rather remember bar hopping 40 years ago than listening to him complain about his prostate.

  77. Beatrix_Kitto Avatar

    Yes. Even a few years ago I enjoyed meeting up for drinks or lunch/brunch to catch up. Now I’m totally uninterested. We text and exchange memes/reels/TikTok stuff and that is enough for me.

  78. Walka_Mowlie Avatar

    Like some have mentioned here, I have few friends, but the ones I have a very good ones.

    My MIL seemed to blossom when my FIL passed away. She had always been a super busy lady, volunteering at the Food Bank, going to play dominoes at a weekly church social, canning & sewing with her Home Ec. friends, etc. But after he died, she joined more groups (Silver Sneakers and a knitting group among them). I think how we live our lives is up to us. She loved cleaning and prepping to have a group of friends over for a luncheon every month — that’s not my thing.

    We all pick and choose how we want to live our lives and whom we choose to surround ourselves with. And just because friends in your age group are dropping like flies doesn’t mean you can’t make younger friends in a bowling team or monthly Tea Party Tasting group. 😉

  79. Wildweed Avatar

    I seem to be outliving most of the good ones.