my bf is muslim and im a christian othordox, we’re both young and not rly strict on our religion but hes lowkey controlling and manipulative. he demands a lot of respect and isnt ok w me wearing specific things or going swimming etc. honestly its draining and its not the best feeling to feel ashamed to send ur bf certain pics bcs of what ur wearing/doing. despite all this i love him too much to leave so my only option is to adapt
what do u guys think?
different religion relationship
r/Advice
Comments
Your boyfriend’s controlling behavior is a huge red flag no matter how much you love him. You don’t have to lose yourself to keep the peace because real love means respect not rules that drain your soul.
I’m Jewish and my husband is agnostic. He celebrates my holidays with me and I celebrate things like Christmas with him.
ETA: if compromise isn’t possible, then this will be a huge downfall of your relationship.
You won’t be happy. As time goes on he’ll demand more from you. Then when you have children things will get even worse. I’m not saying that people from different religions can’t make it work but it’s hard. And both have to show each other respect to make it work, it can’t be just one. And that’s what he wants from you but is he doing the same for you?
You can find love with someone who loves and respects you without you having to give up everything. You may be ok with it now, but the longer you give up what you want to do, who you want to be and what you want to wear the more you’ll resent him and you’ll become depressed. Best to end it now before it gets worse.
And what I’ve heard from other women who dated a Muslim man without being in the religion itself, you don’t get a Muslim wedding without being one yourself. Someone correct me if I’m wrong. I don’t want to be spreading something that isn’t true. But as someone who has been in relationships where I gave up more than my partner did, I’m so glad I got away from it. It sucked at first, but now that I’ve gotten older I’m am so happy to be away from them.
Think on it but don’t let him know you’re considering leaving. He’ll do or say whatever to keep you and when he thinks he has you locked down he’ll change. Think about what you want in life and if that will happen with him in your life.
It’s time to love yourself more. This will only get worse. It’s time to leave
Ask yourself would you like to be controlled whole life? Also is he open to learn about religion and change himself on longer run? If yes then continue otherwise leave!
LEAVE. You really want this for the rest of your life? It’ll only get worse.
That religion is just not for women.
What do you love about him?
I think first of all you probably both need to learn who you are as people.
You say you both aren’t strict with your religion. To be honest with you, if you believe in God and aren’t just a cultural Christian you might really want to dig in to why you believe in God but don’t find the rules of His religion worth following ‘strictly.’ I say you need to do this because someday that might happen, I’ve heard many stories of lukewarm or cultural Christians who have a realization that they need to bring big changes into their lives, as a result of their newfound/strengthened faith. This also might happen for him as well. Maybe, as a Muslim he’ll decide that he needs to strictly adhere to his faith, and maybe that you do too. How would that affect your life?
To be clear I know how Reddit is, and I won’t be debating any sort of religious concepts for either Islam or Christianity. This is solely for the consideration of the original poster!