So I have this small inconvenience, whenever I visit a public urinal, in my office or suppose by the road side while travelling, if there is movement behind me, or someone else uses the urinal beside me, I just can’t pee how much ever I try. Even if my bladder is full and I had to pee real bad, I can’t. But once i start peeing then there is no problem anymore.
I found this very weird and wanted to know if anyone else experience this? And what could be the reason?
Edit: It was very enlightening to know that it’s a common thing and what goes through everyone’s mind while peeing. Peeing just got a little easier. Thanks everyone.
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It’s called Stage Fright. Very common.
It’s just stage fright.
I usually just close my eyes.
But it helps to pretend you have the biggest dick in the room.
I used to have this friend that would drop pants to ankles at the urinal… Hilarious.
I believe they just call it ”shy bladder” and it’s honestly not all that uncommon. anyway, if it happens often just solve it by using a stall. It anyway doesn’t imply anything more significant.
Common – yes. But you simply dont have to go badly enough if that is the case.
I have the same thing buddy. Just aim for the stalls for privacy. Even sit down if you are a true gentleman.
I just go in the cubicle.
The chance of some bloke bumping into you and making you stumble into the urinal whilst you’ve got your dick in your hands is remote….but not impossible.
Sit down to pee like the Germans.
The official term is Paruresis. It affects millions of men, (and women) and can range from annoying to severely debilitating. There are a range of methods to overcome it and plenty of charities that help men with this condition. You’re not alone.
Shy kidneys . I remember the joy when I discovered I’m not the only one . Sometimes if I have trickle of water going . Impossible for me to use public bathroom / always behind locked door
I’ve always had a shy bladder. I find that distracting my mind allows me to relax enough to get the stream started.
I would get checked by a urologist just to make sure there are no underlying issues.
Walk to the urinal, breathe in deeply, then exhale and release your bladder at the same time.
Definitely very common, check out the breath hold technique.
https://paruresis.org/breath-hold/
Stage fright. I’d like to tell you it gets better with age but that would be a lie, at least in my experience. I find grabbing the cold metal piping in that situation helps soothe and unlock the stream sooner in that situation. But if there is an option to grab a stall I’m doing it.
I Sit Down When I Pee
It is called “Bashful Bladder”. You are not alone. I like privacy so I may go.
In my college dorm – 4 guys to a suite that shared a bathroom. One guy had what we called “social pissies disease”. Sometimes we’d walk in on him when he tried to piss just to be college-aged guys!
I have to go into a cubicle to pee. I can’t do it if some hairy arsed bloke is stood next to me.
I got over it by being required to take regular, monitored (read: a big mf breathing down neck, with two mirrors pointed at my johnson) drug tests.
Certainly wouldn’t recommend that. And even now that I’m able, I still use the stall if I have time for it.
I love all the different names for it.
Piss shy is what I’ve heard it referred to, not very imaginative I agree.
I had it too. From adolescence to about 30yo. Getting older certainly helps, maybe just from gaining perspective that nobody really cares what’s going on with anyone else, everyone is obsessed with themselves (in a good way?).
My own personal method which worked was imagining I was a god, a Golden God who’s every move should be worshipped. I’d chant it in my head, I am a god I am a god I am a god. Once the pee started to flow I was off to the races. Every time it got a little easier. YMMV.
When this happens to me in the urinal and I’m surrounded by people I close my eyes and softly sing “Mary had a little lamb”. Sometimes I can get a sing-a-long going
This is probably the second most common male GU issue after ED.
This doesn’t happen to me much anymore but when it did I found a mental exercise to deal with anxiety made it go away in that moment. I’d start adding numbers to themselves as a way to distract my brain
1+1 = 2
2+2 = 4
3+3 = 6
etc
By the time I get to 8 it wouldn’t be an issue most of the time, but I’d just repeat as necessary.
Common. Distract yourself slightly. Count backwards from 60. Solve a difficult or impossible math problem in your head. Think about what you will eat later and how it will be cooked.
I’ve heard you should hold your breath and your bladder will respond. Don’t know if true but it’s worth a try.
I have this issue as well. I’m a stall guy 90% of the time. That way I can take all the time I need to get it going.
I once went to a ball game at Wrigley field. The bathroom experience was emasculating while I waited for the stall. 20 guys stand in a circle facing each other pissing into a trough.
Look directly at what the man next to you is doing for inspiration
I’ve always known it as “pee shy” or “piss shy.”
In the 80s, OMNI magazine did an article on it that suggested doing 2- or 3-digit multiplication problems to distract yourself and that worked well. Now, just make sure you have your phone out before you hit the urinal and scroll some Reddit!
Remind yourself nobody cares what you are doing, nobody is even paying attention to you
I once worked in a building where the two urinals were side by side, close with no divider. It was hard to avoid touching elbows. I always dreaded if someone came in after I started.
Ita a type of social anxiety. Not a big deal.
It used to be a problem for me, but I started doing mindfulness meditation and it it ever pops up, I just bring myself completely present and it goes away.
Focus on one spot on the wall, usually does the trick for me
Same thing going on 45… I don’t even try. I wait for a stall. Sometimes, if I know people like at work, I even lock up in the stall, usually don’t have that probably in strange area.
Considering public urination is against the law in most places, I would hope that it’s difficult for most people…
Hey OP. It’s very common. A reallly good solution is to count down from 5 to 1 when you’re trying to start the stream – dunno why but is seems to distract/occupy your brain and hey presto.
I get it in times I don’t really have to pee, but could. I.e. I’ll try before flights, or things I know I won’t be able to use a restroom for a while.
Trying to think of running water usually helps. Stare slightly up and imagine turning on a faucet
Everyone calling it stage fright is correct, but for your own wellbeing, you might want to drill down on why you’re getting stage fright.
I have it, and it’s due to childhood trauma, but figuring that out helped me get over the worst of it.
Used to have a shy bladder when younger. I was advised by a therapist (general anxiety issues all around) that doing math in my head would help.. and it did.
Quite common. I had it often until just a few years ago, but now that I’ve hit middle age, I DGAF, and the pee flows freely as soon as I whip it out at the urinal. I’m pretty sure it was just insecurity about my penis size, which I DGAF about anymore either.
Just picture a waterfall in your mind while peeing and block out everything else until finished.
I heard a podcast where they offered a life tip for this…hold your breath. Give it a go.
Happens to me from time to time – it’s like I get in my head and it makes it tuff to wee, I normally just sit it out a bit longer or leave and come back.
I get it all the time mate, it sucks so I go in a cubicle sometimes
Happened to me until I figured out how to control it. Top solution is to just go to a stall. If that’s not available, I stare at the tile in front of me and just concentrate on it, trying to block everyone else out. Try to relax and convince yourself that no one is paying attention to you.
Yup, happens from time to time for me as well. Shy bladder and can’t relax enough to let it go. It helps if I get my phone out and scroll while I’m trying to pee. This also happens when I am in the ocean swimming and trying to pee. LOL
One technique is to imagine/fixate on one specific image or thought. It’s especially helpful if it’s something already in the bathroom.
For example, if you think of a shiny tile or the metal of the flush handle. Your mind can fixate on that and start to block out the rest. At some point, your body follows and things can happen more easily.
This assumes it’s not a medical issue. Also – I’m not a doctor and this is not medical advice.
Some sort of water running in the background helps me.
Glad I don’t have that issue.
I’m the opposite. I could literally pee anywhere at any time without being embarrassed.
A lot of people get this, including me lol. Once in awhile I don’t but more often then not.. yeah.
I used to have it a lot worse. Stalls don’t work because I was freaked by someone hearing me pee into the toilet. I started doing a survey of the manufacturers of the flush valves used in rest rooms by observing their names on the plumbing and this usually distracts me enough to get the flow going. (Royal flush valves seem to be the most common)
Keep practicing. It took me years to be able to comfortably pee next to someone at the urinal. The more you practice, the easier it gets.
I never had a problem until I had a job that had regular drug tests that required observers. They may have to test 30 people some mornings, which made the testers very impatient. Nothing worse than having a superior behind you asking why you haven’t filled the cup yet. Never did any kind of drugs, but it looks suspicious when you get stage fright during a drug test week after week. I eventually conditioned myself to pee when thinking about something specific like waterfalls. Still works to this day.
I have this same problem! It sucks lol what’s weird I never had a problem before but only in the recent years this started to happen.
It becomes worse when there’s several people just playing around like at parties with bunch of drunk guys joking around, laughing and just filling the restroom space cause they can’t wait outside the door for reasons.
I have this problem. I remember times where I literally stood there for minutes and eventually gave up and used a stall, feeling embarrassed.
I just fully embraced it and stopped using urinals entirely. I don’t care anymore.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Paruresis/
Everyone is pee shy lol
No bathrooms. I cant have people standing up behind me while im sitting down. Makes me very uneasy. Especially sharing a computer and discussing what is on the screen, trying to direct me, kryptonite.
Same issue for me and I’m 51.
I just can’t relax and use urinals. Especially in very busy bathroom settings.
I have slowly got better. Used to never been able to pee; at least now I can go at a urinal with a small number of others around, but as soon as it gets busy or loud I freeze up.
Been this way for years it’s gotten better as I’ve gotten older. For me I think it was because I was on probation at like 15 and on and always had some dude staring at my dick to pee. I struggled then it has gotten better the older I get though.
Do your math tables in your head (1×1=1, 2×2=4, and so on). It will take your mind off it, and you will be peeing before you know it.
I am a certified stall pisser, as its far easier to piss with the pants lowered vs the waist band or boxers against the hose…..
Yep, the key is to stop giving a shit about what other might think of you.
When I’m sitting like a jockey in trap 1, I wait quietly if someone comes in and just when they start peeing, I cough or make some other noise. They always stop midstream and can’t continue.
I imagine the Niagra Falls and it usually refocuses my mind
I too have this. I never did growing up then all of a sudden around 17 or 18 I guess it started happening. Can walk in a stall and have no problem though. Makes no sense.
Gotta learn how to drop your pelvic floor
I get it sometimes unless I’ve really gotta go, I’ve always preferred the privacy of a cubicle anyways.
Try public masturbation. After that, peeling will be easy!
Seriously though, it’s a muscle memory trick, but every time you pee, try clenching your butt cheeks. After a while your body will recognise the clenching as meaning “it’s pissing time”. If clenching doesn’t work for you try other physical cues, but it takes away the mental element and introduces a muscular trigger.
I can’t piss in front of others either. I always use a stall and just stopped giving a fuck about what people think in a public bathroom. My potty training experience was less than ideal with some nasty parents
Go into the stall and sit down
Yeah, I almost got in trouble because in army drug testing they sometimes like to stare directly at the pee hole. Slight exaggeration.
What helps is reciting numbers in my head or imagining AOC
I used to have it. For me what helped was just thinking “we’re all gross men. we’re all here to just piss.” and “even if it takes a while, another stall will open soon.”
Down, forward, down, low punch. That’s how you did Sub Zero’s fatality in Mortal Kombat 2. This is the kind of random thing I’m thinking about when I have to pee standing next to someone
That’s not unusual. Very few people want a possible audience when peeing.
Just look over next to you and say “nice watch”. Then you’ve flipped the script.
I am right there with you OP.
I have always had a shy bladder. Getting started in a busy bathroom with shoulder to shoulder urinals is an almost impossible task for me and I am in my fifth decade of life. I try to use a stall if possible.
It’s worse if people I know are peeing at the same time and maybe talking to me.
Like you said, once it gets going, no problem at all, but getting started with people around me is difficult.
While some guys find it easier nowadays with the partitions between urinals it is still a problem for a lot of guys.
Using the toilet in the stalls is often the best solution.
I had it for the entirety of 10th grade. Super annoying, but it eventually went away. I wish there had been internet back then, I never heard the idea of just using a stall. That would probably work great!
My trick is that I start trying to pee before im even at the urinal. I dont know why it works, but it does. If there’s a line, when im next a urinal opens up, i start trying to pee. By the time I whip it out Im struggling to hold it back. I was exactly like you at one time. YMMV
sometimes i know its gonna happen so i just use a stall.
headphones help too, dampen the anxiety that comes from sudden sounds
Same, I usually pee in the actual cabin instead of urinal because of that
Stage fright. We also call it bathroom anxiety. After some stuff in highschool I couldn’t use public restrooms in general till my mid 20s and still can’t use urinals
Not weird at all. You can still try, if it’s important to you you can keep trying until you don’t mind the situation.
I feel that’s a useful ability if you travel a lot or roam around public spaces most of your time.
This is super common! In my case it was a lot of issues revolving around vulnerability that I kept repressing. Therapy can help, but it’s nothing to feel ashamed about 🙂
Multiplication tables my friend.
psychologists have literally studied men at the urinal…
As my professor said, “Psychologists call it arousal… no, it’s not that kind of arousal.”
If you are stuck there and can’t use a stall. I have two tricks. First is to just take a deep breath and then relax your whole body when you breath out.
The other…a bit weird but while your hand is down there just use one of your finders to subtly tickle the side of one ball. It often gets things working for me but of course you wanna be very subtle and not look like you’re doing anything sexual at a urinal or you might have an entirely different problem.
This hits me less than it used to. Probably because I’m near 50 and it’s a little harder to hold it. I would sometimes use a stall and pretend to blow my nose in there. I was never like consciously nervous or anything it just would shut right off. Then ya get annoyed and that doesn’t help. Also… Like I don’t think anyone would ever notice if you just left and came back later.