I separated from my first wife several years ago. We didn’t have any children and the divorce itself was fairly non-contentious thankfully. There is no animosity but save for a happy birthday / Christmas text etc, we don’t have any regular contact now.
When I moved out, I just left all of the various sentimental stuff (including my wedding ring) at my parents’ house as I didn’t want to deal with it at the time.
I have since remarried. My parents are moving house and that has prompted me to look through the stuff I have there. A lot of it I have got rid of but I honestly don’t know what to do with the ring.
Some people have told me to sell it although it’s honestly not worth a great deal if I did. While I have no regrets about the marriage ending, we were together for 15 years which was a big part of my life and so I am reluctant to part with it.
I feel like I should keep this one part of my previous life but I don’t really know why. That said, we have both moved on now so maybe getting rid of the ring would also signify a new chapter.
Just wondering what other people have done in this scenario.
Comments
Since you shitlords like to delete your posts, here’s an original copy of /u/TeekRodriguez’s post (if available):
I separated from my first wife several years ago. We didn’t have any children and the divorce itself was fairly non-contentious thankfully. There is no animosity but save for a happy birthday / Christmas text etc, we don’t have any regular contact now.
When I moved out, I just left all of the various sentimental stuff (including my wedding ring) at my parents’ house as I didn’t want to deal with it at the time.
I have since remarried. My parents are moving house and that has prompted me to look through the stuff I have there. A lot of it I have got rid of but I honestly don’t know what to do with the ring.
Some people have told me to sell it although it’s honestly not worth a great deal if I did. While I have no regrets about the marriage ending, we were together for 15 years which was a big part of my life and so I am reluctant to part with it.
I feel like I should keep this one part of my previous life but I don’t really know why. That said, we have both moved on now so maybe getting rid of the ring would also signify a new chapter.
Just wondering what other people have done in this scenario.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Climbed to the top of a mountain and threw it as far as I could
Toss it and leave it in the past where it belongs.
Sell it and move on
I threw mine into a lake
Do what feels right. If holding onto it reminds you of the happy times you had then that’s yours and only yours. Keep that for you. If it causes you pain maybe bury somewhere as a symbol of burying a dead past you no longer need. Good luck with the journey. It’s not easy but it does get easier and better.
Sell it or melt it to something else.
Like your former relationship – the ring still has value. More specifically, what it’s made of.
The ring itself is meant to be circular and without end, like the relationship was supposed to be, but that didn’t work out, so the ring shape needs to go, but you two did have something or you wouldn’t be texting HB and MC and the gold still represents that.
Melt it down. Might be enough later to get a kid through a semester of college or make a down payment of a car. But keep that little nugget tucked away as an insurance policy.
I threw mine into the Atlantic Ocean.
I’m not in your situation, so this advice might be worthless, but to throw it out there anyway…
You never know who you will run into later, and there are many stories of people having a better time dating and finding a better person later in life, as they know who they are and what they want better than the first time.
If you were to ever run into someone and you want to end up taking it kind of serious, holding onto your ex wife’s wedding ring would be a red flag and count against your favor. You’ll either need to get rid of it as your starting getting serious, or lie. I don’t recommend lying, and letting it go last minute might also feel forced and weird.
So I’d suggest to start getting yourself in the mindframe of letting it go when you feel ready. Or you’ll never allow yourself to get on with the next chapter of your life. And you deserve to be happy again.
I feel for you. I’ve got two wedding bands in my watch case along with my high school ring. One day, if and when I have grandkids, I’ll melt them down and make something for them: a baby bracelet or even a small ring for an older girl. My first wife took the 2ct diamond earrings I bought her and gave one to my daughter’s fiancé and made one into a necklace pendant that she gave to her the day of the wedding. My Mom gave her tiny wedding ring (very fragile) to my daughter and she had it reinforced and wears it every day. There’s no need to feel guilty, or remorseful about repurposing your wedding band. Keep it until you figure out something meaningful to do with it. Good luck.
I’ve kept it. A token to remember what was and what could have been.
I can’t agree with people saying chunk it only because I wouldn’t light $200 on fire. Yes, it is a symbolic object, but that is still gold. Granted, I am poor so…
Straight in the bin. Means nothing anymore.
Sold mine back to the jeweler we bought it from for almost 1/2 price.
I pawned it
My ex “husband” asked if he could pawn it. I said no and he stole it anyway.
My last ex – I was engaged to – I have it and do want to sell it. It means nothing to me. He disgusts me on so many levels and there is immense trauma.
My divorce was brutal and I kept my ring. It’s a part of my personal history and without it I wouldn’t have kids. I’m simply neutral about it now. However, selling it or ??? doesn’t seem like a way to honor that part of my life. So I keep it with my personal things until I decide if I want to do anything with it.
I kept it in a sock drawer because it was gold, then I forgot all about it. I eventually sold it when gold was half the price it was now. Damn. Oh well.
I left it on the table when I left the marital home. Although it was hand crafted gold it had no value to me at all.
People keep their high school rings as a token of a complicated time that had great moments. It sounds like your former marriage was like that. If that’s the case, there’s no reason not to keep the ring. Just make sure your current wife understands that it doesn’t represent a yearning or a lack of commitment to your marriage.
My first one to pay bills my second I wear on a chain with my late wife’s engagement and wedding ring. Since she was the one I want it as close to my heart as possible.
Sell it and donate the money
I kept some stuff that some ex’s gave me in long term relationships but if I get married I’ll most likely throw them away or store them somewhere else as not to upset my wife
I sold mine and had a nice lunch.
I am not divorced, but if I were, I would keep it. It’s part of my history, not my shame
It’s in a jewelry box with some cufflinks and tie bars. I kept it as a reminder of the good times, don’t ever wear it though. I got remarried and my wife doesn’t care that I still have it
Have gollum toss into the fire.
Sold it for it’s gold value.
Mine was one of those rubber ones because I couldn’t have it catch on something at work and degloved my hand so it was easy to throw that shit in the garbage where it belonged just like my ex wife.
There’s a display I have on a bookshelf that has the centerpieces from our wedding and my rings in a small drawstring bag. It’s aesthetically pleasing and there’s a weird feeling of honor I get from looking at it –
I did the best I could at the time to be a good husband, I grew a lot as a person over the decade we were together. I loved a flawed and complicated woman, never gave up and stuck by the marriage vows I swore to her on that day.
I sold it on eBay and used the money to buy a lot of glass rods for lampworking.
A buddy of mine went deep sea fishing and re-enacted the scene in Top Gun where Maverick is holding Goose’s dogtags and then hurls them into the sea
He said it was very cathartic
Psh, I threw mine in the trash.
You get rid of it.
I sold mine and put the money toward a puppy. I let go of an old love to have a new love and that was a FANTASTIC decision.
Tossed mine overboard on a fishing trip.
Pawned it for a few bucks
Sold mine to pay off the debts she racked up on our credit card.
Mine is in a small box with other scrap precious metals and silver rounds, bars and old quarters.
I hammered mine fairly flat & it hangs from my key ring. My wife thinks it’s a fitting way to keep it.
Kept mine – in a drawer somewhere
I sold it for scrap and jewelers
I went to sell it but it was worth next to nothing so I’m keeping it for my daughter to have someday if she wants it, or she can sell it
Your new wife could have an issue with your keeping your old ring, though she really shouldn’t. I’d sell it though if she did.
I went on a cruise following my divorce with some buddies (maybe a month after it was finalized). They were trying to basically have a bachelor’s party on a ship, but I spent most of my time contemplating life and my next moves/chapter.
Early one morning I grabbed a drink alone, went to the top of the ship somewhere in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle part of the ocean, cried for a few minutes and chucked my wedding band into the Atlantic. Felt like the right thing to do…had no regrets, and I wouldn’t want to pass that ring’s energy to my sons so it needed a final resting place forever.
It was lost in my house at some point. I expect it will turn up again at some point when I least expect it.
I pawned it and bought beer with the proceeds