Divorced women of Reddit: What has your experience been like post-divorce, and have you ever had moments of doubt or regret about your decision?

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Divorced women of Reddit: What has your experience been like post-divorce, and have you ever had moments of doubt or regret about your decision?

Comments

  1. Winter_frost_25 Avatar

    It was the best thing for me, my ex, and our kids. We are still friends, and both of us have since remarried. We now have a great co-parenting relationship between us and our spouses, and everyone is much happier. It was weird at first being a single parent, but after the first year or so, it just seemed normal. Mine was best-case scenario, but of course, it all depends on you, your ex, and the dynamics at play.

  2. JustLayneIt Avatar

    Married for about a year and a half, divorced at 25. It was my choice to end the marriage. I barely recognized myself anymore and was overall not happy and asked myself if I was really going to do this for the rest of my life. My family was not supportive at first and lots of arguments until eventually they listened to me and what I was saying and came to understand my reasons. It’s been a few months now and I can recognize myself again. I’m happy. Other people in my life who don’t know everything going on in my life like coworkers have even commented on how I look happier lately. Zero regrets. I wish I never married him to begin with.

  3. Sappyliving Avatar

    I had lots of doubts because I divorced a ‘good guy’, but at the end I realized we weren’t compatible, I sacrificed a lot of myself to fit his life and it was making me unhappy after several years together. I am now dating someone I am more compatible with, and I’m happy.

    No hate towards my ex, we just different

  4. WearyEnthusiasm6643 Avatar

    married for ten years, he led a secret life of voyeurism, porn addiction, exhibitionism, eventually cheating.

    as soon as I found out I left. it ruined my life.

    finances, my credit, my schooling (I was in university again), my small business closed, my mental health, the kids mental health tanked, his family all bailed on me, i lost my sobriety, my trust in anyone, my health, you name it.

    i’m just done.

  5. Active_Recording_789 Avatar

    Nooooo no regrets except maybe that I’d done it sooner. I’m with someone amazing now, but I would’ve been completely fine on my own too

  6. mudderofdogs Avatar

    Only regret that I did it in the first place. My peace is worth everything

  7. mangoserpent Avatar

    I had an unpleasant divorce and the first year or two after I struggled making sense of somethings but it did counseling a few times and gave myself time to process and now years later I can see things objectively and I have no idea now why I thought we were compatible.

    No regrets. And would not get married again.

  8. SincerelySasquatch Avatar

    I’ve been divorced for three years. It was extremely painful at first as my ex husband was my best friend for 8 years, I still loved him, but I was done with the cheating, lies and addiction. Through the pain, though, I felt a strong peace come over me, and I knew I had made the right decision. I am glad I married him, he helped me through a lot a lot of very difficult things at a very difficult time in my life. However, we were not meant to be together long-term. In a way I wish I had left sooner, however I am proud of my commitment and loyalty in my marriage and the effort I put into it.

    Dating has been hard since my divorce. Very few men seem to want a relationship. After two and a half years I found a relationship, in many ways he was a great guy but had some type of anger disorder, and would get controlling when he was angry. I found myself afraid of him, and feeling trapped sometimes, so I left. I still love him and care about him but have no communication with him, I wish him well and I hope he eventually decides to get professional help.

  9. Western-Stress-9719 Avatar

    Regretted the marriages, not once have I regretted the split. Unfortunately the divorce isn’t final yet because he’s not signed it.

  10. YouMustDoEverything Avatar

    I was the one who left (after years of trying to get ex to go to therapy, not belittle me, stop controlling me, pay attention to kids, etc.) and even though it was scary financially I never regretted it. Not once.

  11. Hopeful_Atmosphere16 Avatar

    I’ve never been happier or more productive ..more successful

    I was so afraid of everything that he said would be correct and how I would fail

    that kept me from making the change longer than it should have but it’s honestly been the best decision I’ve ever made and I enjoy my freedom so much

  12. BetEmotional4059 Avatar

    Sometimes I regret it so so much, but other times I remember the whys and they’re pretty spot on. I guess it depends on what I miss and how is my day going.

  13. Equal_Enthusiasm_506 Avatar

    I think it is normal to have doubts and regrets. No matter what led to the demise of a marriage, it’s sad. Even if the failure of the marriage can be blamed solely on the other person, you still have lessons to learn from this.

  14. Weird-Syllabub-1054 Avatar

    Was with him 13 years total and married 8 years. We just fell out of love and were both deeply unhappy, we tried for the sake of our child but we were just painting a warped view of relationships. I’ve never doubted or regretted the split and neither has he. We were very amicable and had joint custody. I’m very happily remarried and he is getting married again in July. He’s happy and I’m happy and that’s all I wanted.

  15. msstark Avatar

    Mod note: please refrain from using mental health related terms or diagnostic labels casually.

    Do not speculate, armchair diagnose, or label other people’s mental health situations; or use terms for mental health issues as judgments, slurs, or synonyms for toxic/abusive behaviour even when talking about yourself. More information about this rule can be found here.

    If you’re referring to someone (yourself or others) who has been formally diagnosed by a medical professional, please make sure your comment reflects that.

  16. Rhorae Avatar

    I didn’t make the decision but I sure am enjoying it!

  17. AcceptableReadMeg Avatar

    I don’t for a second regret my divorce. I’m still heartbroken and hurt. I’m working on my emotional self via therapy. But spending more time with an abusive man who continues to try and abuse me through my children was not the answer. Also this man ran off and got married less than 4 months after the divorce and wants this new victim to be my kids mother instead of me. So no I don’t regret getting away from this piece of trash at all.

  18. mkittysreddit Avatar

    No regrets wish I could have done it sooner. I believe that when you put in effort to better yourself and to be a good person, things happen for a reason. I found my person right after when I wasn’t looking and thought life was over.

  19. Ornery_Dot1397 Avatar

    With him for 14 years, married for 10 of those years. I left him in June 2018, I filed for divorce in August of 2019. Post-divorce I have gained a lot of independence and confidence, plus tried a bunch of new things. I got off my anti anxiety pills and stayed off them (amazing considering I was on them for the entirety of the relationship). I picked up extra work to pay for a lawyer to get a fair divorce, it burnt me out but it was so worth it. I now have more spending money for things I like, more freedom to do what I want and happiness I did not know was possible when I was in the thick of the marriage. No regrets any step of the way, only growing confidence and happiness.

  20. ornages Avatar

    The only doubt I’ve had is why I didn’t see sooner what I see now. Zero regrets. I get a do-over to get it right this time.