My boyfriend is black and I’m white and we get STARED DOWN in public by old white people, Hispanics, people our age. It’s annoying but obviously we can’t really do anything about it. But dies this happen yo anyone else?
My boyfriend is black and I’m white and we get STARED DOWN in public by old white people, Hispanics, people our age. It’s annoying but obviously we can’t really do anything about it. But dies this happen yo anyone else?
Comments
Of course it does, you aren’t the only interracial couple
Just ignore it
I’ve never been in an interracial relationship, but known plenty of people in them- they get it all the time. People get weird about shit, especially old people with old values.
We’re not different races, but we are the same sex so I do understand getting stared at. After these 16 years though I really don’t care.
It doesn’t happen to my husband and I. At least not enough that we’ve ever noticed. We live in Canada if that helps.
Depends on where you live / where you are. The world is a much friendlier place for interracial couples than it was 30 years ago.
Of course. In my experience, the bigger the skin contrast, the more they stare.
Although, it isn’t JUST different races. Some people get stared at because a guy is much taller than his woman — this is one of the reasons my SO and I get stares, too. We are different races, and her skin tone is much darker than mine, but I am 6’3″ and she is barely 5 foot.
Weight differences, too, can get stares — an obese person with a skinny person.
Although, I would presume if you were in an area where it’s common to see mixed race couples, you wouldn’t be stared at as much. People are wired to notice what’s different. Put a blue dot in the middle of a plain T-shirt and see what people stare at most.
I am in an interracial couple in Europe. People do not care that much, and most people who care are in fact surprised, but are often welcoming and friendly (Oh, your wife comes from …., I love that country food or music).
Yes. The only places that this really won’t happen are on the coasts.
Ppl are ‘surprised’, and Judge, regardless subconsciously or consciously, they can’t help it.
Yeah, I get it . Fuck them.
Yep! My bf is black and I’m white and it happens a lot. We’ve gotten rude comments too but we just find it funny atp.
with my ex boyfriend me and him got stared at all the time. i’m use to it so never noticed but it use to bother him.
Yes and on top of being a mixed race couple at the same time being different age groups, very different body shapes and being neurodivergent (officially awkward) also doesn’t help. What’s worse imo is being completely ignored though, for example at a shop.
As a white woman, I never understood how rampant and blatantly obvious racism is in the US south until I dated a black man. I cried because I felt so awful that I had somehow missed the hatefilled ugliness that is directed at black folks.
The experience ultimately changed me for the better, though. It was a valuable life lesson about having empathy for the struggles of others which vary from my own lived experience as a white person
The USA is very racially separated, you can even tell someone’s race on the phone. Here in Scotland nobody would notice.
Not in a relationship BUT if we happen to be and we got some flak for it, we’d use the opportunity to preach the gospel & talk about how God accepts everyone regardless of skin color or other factors.
Just show them grace & love through Christ Jesus who knows we may even plant a seed that would get them thinking about giving their lives to christ.
I got it all planned out.
Not in one now but when I was absolutely it was nonstop. Also white girl with Asian guy and you’d be surprised how many people were open about their Questions. Really outrageous social behavior
Only when I dated a black woman… by black men. Married a white woman with Asian children; and with my daughter… nobody bats an eye. If we get looks, it’s probably because they think we’re running a foster home haha
Yes, you’ll get used to it, or not. For some reason people is very curious about it.
I’m White, husband is Latino. Have lived in several places around the U.S. and reactions vary depending on place. Small town Iowa? Stares. Chicago? No reaction. Birmingham? People assume I am Latina, which is super confusing to me 🤷🏻♀️
For me the absolute worst was me a white dude dating a Korean girl. The most uncomfortable dinner I ever had. Everyone wanted to murder me. But don’t worry, I didn’t get murdered. Because her mother took her out of the country in order to break us up.
Yes, but I would also say depends on where you live. I was in a long distance relationship with my ex, he’s Filipino and I’m white. When he came to visit me (rural Appalachia) I did notice we got a few stares. When I went to him in Vancouver however, I didn’t notice anything ¯_(ツ)_/¯
A tall girl with a short guy get a stared at. A beautiful person with an “ugly” person gets stared at. Bigger people get stared at. People are weird and funny. Doesn’t make any of it right. Just the way people are. If you regular care what people think about your life decisions you’re gonna have a rough time. Live for you
You don’t notice it after a while.
yep happens to me and my wife sometimes. im black, shes white. we laugh and keep it movin
No…
Yes. Don’t let it bother you. They have issues. You don’t.
I have no idea. I don’t pay attention to anyone else to know.
Depends on where you live. Not in DC, NYC, Baltimore, San Diego, or Atlanta. YMMV
I lived with a Mexican woman and dated a black woman. We got stared at sometimes, but they both noticed it more than I did.
Maybe these people are just jealous.
Yeah, or it’s always assumed we aren’t together even if we’re doing stuff like holding hands.
We’ve been together for a decade now, married for 5 years this year, and it’s just funny to us at this point. Like we’ll go to a restaurant, ask for a seat, and the host/hostess will ask “Are you guys together?” And the shocked look we get when we say we’re married is something we actively make fun of once we’re removed from the situation.
We’ve even been asked “how” we’re married, which is a weird question, and not a frequent one but it’s been asked more than once, but every time it’s been asked I’ve said, “well the Supreme Court legalized it in 1967, so here we are!”
The assumptions at the beginning were mildly infuriating, but after a while, once you realize it’s never going to stop, you realize anger is just society getting to you, and you laugh it off instead because you realize what else can you do?
i used to have an indian ex, im white, people would stare, but i think it was good vibes, like oh that’s so cool
I’m white and my husband is asian; we don’t get a ton of stares in Canada, but when I talk about my husband, people aren’t expecting someone who looks like him to show up.
But, we were stared at A LOT in South Korea when we visited. South Korea doesn’t have a lot of foreigners so an interracial couple is rare, so it makes sense. The elders and aunties stared the most and even asked my husband about us being a couple, lol. The stares bothered me a little bit because some people were so blatant about it; it was a weird and humbling experience to go from being amongst the majority population in Canada to a minority in Korea.
Depends. My husband is Middle Eastern and I’m white. We live in a major city that is very diverse, so where we live we do not get the stare down. BUT if we go to my home state and small town in the south? Absolutely. It’s very rare for us to go there because since the MAGA movement my home town has gotten even worse with racism.
and depending on who is which gender and what country youre in, depends on the TYPE of stare you receive. IE: in Canada 30 yrs ago white early 20’s female – my rather dark skinned (not just a wee dark) Canadian born, Trinidadian backround bf was sometimes looked down on, or looked at w disdain- or I got the “you could do better” comments. Then we go to Trinidad – he gets the high fives, way to go! You “snagged a nice pale one” comments from his own distant cousins.
Just to flip it a little. A couple of years ago, my son (WM) and his friend (BF) were dressed up and hanging out in the lobby at the KenCen before the ballet. They are both dancers. They noticed a much older Black couple really checking them out and smiling a bit. At intermission, the couple approached them. The woman told them how fine they looked and that “it did her heart good” to see them just out there enjoying themselves, and she was happy how times have changed. They then chatted a bit about the ballet.
I’m in a gay AND interracial relationship, so I never really know what I’m being glowered at for precisely but it is at least 60% of the time we’re outside.
We do a lot of Friday nights in…
In my experience, if I’m out on a date with a non black woman, the ppl who stare the most are…black women.
A lot of people from most races or cultural backgrounds rather believe in sticking to your own kind so it’s not very surprising that an interracial couple would get stared at
the old white ladies staring at you are wishing their husband was black
Dear god what is wrong with people. I wish you both much happiness. I’m sorry people are so fucking ignorant.
I’m Latina/Asian and husband is white. No one bats an eye at us. My siblings and I have dated black, white, Hispanic and Asians and never once experienced side-eye looks. We have several mixed-race cousins.
But we also live in the SF Bay Area. YMMV depending on the region you live in.
I’m gay so there is another layer here, but having said that I have felt what you are talking about when holding hands with a black man that I dated in the past. I’m white. It was a different world of stares than I have felt when holding hands with white men, Asian men, Latino men. There is something that seems to still be uniquely socially unacceptable about white-black couples. A lot of people will say that’s not true and deny that reality, but if you have personal experience as a white person dating people of different races and ethnicities, you know there is a huge difference with a black-white relationship, like it or not. I live in LA.
I’m a black man and when I lived in Italy I went on a date with an Italian woman. We walked through her neighborhood and I noticed we got a lot of looks from many Italians. It’s even worse in the United States though. Texas especially is the most racist place I’ve ever lived. I remember this white guy told me once that he hates when white women date black men because he thought “they could do so much better”. Of course I told him that was very ignorant of him to say. But there was a lot of opposition to interracial relationships in Texas…. So glad I don’t live there anymore.
From what I hear the west coast is the most accepting of interracial relationships.
Kinda sounds like a usa thing tbh.