i (18f) am completely invisible to men and i didn’t grow up with much male attention (from family or peers), so there’s this hole in my heart that craves male affection. no matter how much i try loving myself, it never goes away đ
so, do friends with benefits exist, but just for cuddling? sometimes i just want a man to hold me while i watch a show, y’know?
Comments
Most would want to have sex after cuddling
I mean you can try to find someone for that, yes. Within legal limits, it’s up to the involved persons to define their relationship with each other
Cuddling is a gateway drug
First off, you’re not invisibleâyou’re just not being seen by the right ones yet. That craving for affection is valid and real, especially when you’ve missed out on it growing up. Physical touch and emotional connection are deep human needs, not weaknesses.
And yes, cuddle-based friendships do exist! Some people genuinely crave closeness without anything sexual. It’s just about finding someone emotionally mature and respectful of boundaries. You deserve that kind of warmth, and itâs okay to want it. Sending you a big virtual hug.
Edit: I miss-read the post the below was for a sexual fwb relationship that also cuddles. I have seen friendships that just had cuddling yes. With 2 straight women it works great. I’ve seen it work between a man and a woman too but I genuinly believe they did more. This person was my EX. So If you believe her a man and a woman can cuddle with no sex as friends
Yes*. If you decide ahead of time yes cuddling can be totally fine. My FwB cuddled with me and regularily stayed over. It 100% made me miss when we didn’t do it. I never developed feeling due to the situation but I can 100% see how a FwB could develop feelings with cuddling.
That’s what the homies are for
Try with a woman first, see how it feels.
If you must have male attention, do the right (but hard) thing. Work hard on your fitness and personality. Be attractive, to the best of your ability. You will eventually receive male attention.
But the better thing to do is to develop some self respect and stop craving male (or female) validation. If you start depending on external validation, it’ll become a drug and you’ll end up chasing it your entire life. Don’t do it.
baby that doesnât exist â¤ď¸ youâre talking about a boyfriend. do that with a FWB, they will expecting sex
you need a good friends group – i (straight m) get cuddled by my gay friends all the time, and have happily sat cuddling my female friends.
You’re young – during your 20-30s find a decent friends group that are more open-minded and cool with contact (not bigoted/homophobic/racist).. I got those from clubbing and sharing an interest in the same music. Music and dancing people are way more happy with body contact being just that, in my experience
In the gay community it’s pretty common
Wait what, isn’t that just… friendship?
I am a 28 year old guy and I am cuddling with male and female friends. I have cuddled with my best female friend since ancient times when we were both single, as well as now that both of us have a serious relationship.
My wife and I met when I posted looking for a cuddle buddy. Try r/foreveralonedating
Try tango! Itâs basically cuddling while walking!
Youâre so smart for being able to recognize and understand that kind of pattern within yourself. I used to have a similar need when it came to cuddling, but every time, this friends ended up expecting sex or a relationship.
Yup, my normal fwb loves to cuddle, especially during movies.
Being able to cuddle without pressure of having to have sex or any other expectations sounds amazing to me. However, make sure you donât end up sending mixed signals to a guy. I would be disappointed if those were the ground rules we set and then the girl decided to try to change them half way through.
I 49(m) had a fwcb (45f). We used to cuddle watching shows.
I’m bad at not catching feelings thou.
Friends with benefits exists for everything
If you look above average, you might have to take the first step with guys you might like, as many guys today are concerned when approaching a woman that looks better then them. If you have guys that are single and you like, approach them, maybe ask them out for a coffee etc. If you take the initiative you will find a man that is just right for you.
Women so often get this confused about men.
Men see sex as a thing of intimacy. Without sex, most men don’t see it as true intimacy. Cuddling is nice. But most men starve of intimacy, really of any kind. So, imagine a starving person, and another person comes along. The other person offers a whole table of great food, but only the chance to sit at the table. Not to ever eat from it…. while they are currently emaciated from hunger.
There are some men that are asexual. But then, why would you do that for men that aren’t going to be the whole package to you, eventually? It lowers your long term value, to the future would be partner. So, I urge caution, for giving in to short term gratification, because it will lead to long term loss.
Yes but awkwardness is almost guaranteed.
Hi, yes it does exist.
A lot of people wonât be able to but it is out there.
I have a few friends who are women that I cuddle platonically. Nothing happens between us.
Some men canât keep it in their pants, some women either. Just be ready to say no in case that happens.
I’m actually someone who likes/does that. I don’t always want sex, sometimes I want to hold or be held by someone else. I’m not asexual by any means, but I figure that people with various libido/outlook on sex may still crave touch and intimacy in other forms, so why not?
I get raging boners when I cuddle Iâm a terrible cuddler donât cuddle guys like me
I have a female friend that I regularly cuddle. We aren’t fwbs, just friends.
It’s possible, but I don’t think it’s common.
Thatâs just called friends
Maybe find a lady friend who is nice and close? I know platonic relationships will often include cuddles if you ask!
If you want just cuddling could just do it with another girl? Not having sex so why does it need to be a guy?
Welcome to the club bud, haha
Throwaway account but as a man also I totally get you. I recently broke up and really don’t want anything other than cuddles but realistically it’s impossible to find someone so I make use of my pillows.
Are cuddle puddles no longer a thing?
We do exist
I know I’m a little late to the party here but I had this in college for a bit. Great friend that lived right next door in the dorms. Even slept over cuddling once. It truly was not weird for us