I’ve been friends with her for several years now and it’s gotten to a point where I am no longer interested in this connection.
She is a user- I’ve lent her money in the past with her promising to give it back on x date, the date will pass and I’ll have to chase her. She is manipulative on another level, a questionable parent, and many other things I can’t even remember right now.
The straw that broke the camels back is when she asked me for money several weeks ago now when I was in between jobs and grieving the loss of my friend. She has a man, that can support her but she wants to keep up appearances and use me to pick up the slack.
She sent me a fluffy message on international women’s day, I ignored it and then she sent me a screenshot of a restaurant we like to visit that had a discount for that week, I just liked it. That was weeks ago and she hasn’t hit me up and I sure as hell haven’t either.
Im usually a straight shooter and will happily have a difficult conversation with someone. But I’m deliberating whether I should tell her why I don’t want to be friends with her anymore as I don’t want her thinking “oh she’s just going through things right now, I’ll hear from her when she’s okay again.”
But then can’t be bothered with her gaslighting and being defensive.
Comments
In this case, I think you should tell her. She needs to know you’re boundaries to understand that her behavior was not tolerable for you. People need to understand that there are consequences to actions.
I had to end a friendship with someone last year and I empathize with you
I wouldn’t give someone an opportunity to try and convince me why I’m wrong, or to gossip about me later. Sometimes going no contact is ok. You don’t owe people an explanation as to what boundaries they’ve crossed with you.
If she changed, would you still desire the friendship? If so, have the convo, but difficult conversations are for people with a mutual care/ concern for each other, or people you’re forced to be around (ie coworkers).
Sounds like this woman doesn’t care about you, so I would just block and move on. Remove her from socials, etc. If she somehow gets in touch on down the line and asks what’s up, tell her she only ever reached out when she wanted something, and you Marie Kondo’d your friends list.
Life is too short to respect people who have disrespected you. Don’t waste your energy unless it will give you closure.