I have a feeling most people are going to say the family, because I did have that prior commitment, and I’ve obviously known them my whole life. I (f23) have been with my bf (m23) officially for about two months now. He had his first pro-level tournament in his sport, and they won the championship, becoming the top ranked team in all of North America. He has been spending his whole life training for this, and honestly didn’t think this would ever happen. Plus, he’s been on this journey completely alone. No support from family, living below the poverty line, nothing but himself, his work ethic, and a dream. He really wanted to celebrate with me tomorrow, ALSO, wanted me to meet his mom for the first time. They haven’t had any contact in over a year since they had a traumatic falling out, but they finally reconnected, and I feel honored to meet her.
The only thing is that tomorrow my mom really wants me to travel to Pittsburgh with her and my grandmother for my sister’s first wedding dress fitting. Her wedding is still two years away, but my mom said this is extremely important to her and that she doesn’t want me to be flakey (which has never happened before, but she can see how hesitant I am about going since this tournament happened). She also said that this is important to my grandmother too, because with the wedding being far away, who knows what can happen to her within that time period? So she wants to treasure the moment now. My mom also said she can’t move it to next weekend because she works.
The thing is, I know my sister has been dreaming about wedding shopping for her whole life. But my boyfriend has also been dreaming about this championship his whole life. And I hate saying this, but at the end of the day, his achievement is once in a lifetime, and I don’t want him to celebrate alone, because his entire JOURNEY has been alone. But I know I had this prior commitment to my family, and i just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to let either of them down, but I feel like there is no winning.
Please help me decide what to do 🙁
Comments
You go with your sister. She’s had this wedding planned for a long time. And a two month relationship is not reason enough to skip out on something important to your sister.
What does your sister think? you should ask her, and default to her answer. You write about your mom pressuring you but I can’t tell if that is because your mom cares or your sister does.
But also, I think making a big deal about a fitting is silly. I would still default to her wishes though.
Sister! Can you celebrate with the bf during the week? You guys have only been dating for two months at this point.
Your sister is a lifetime relationship. Your boyfriend could be gone next week or next month. Keep your commitment to your family.
Sister! My sister flew out to go wedding dress shopping with me last year and it made it so special. I would’ve been really sad if she had missed it. Sisters are life long friends. Boyfriends may come and go lol
Did anyone else stop reading at “I have been with my bf for about two months now”? Joking aside, it is way more attractive trait to me to see someone keep their word and be reliable. If I was in your boyfriends shoes, I would be impressed that you kept your word.
Two months? Yeah family sure comes first. His reaction will tell you plenty. His response should be “It’s okay your family comes first.
Sister and stay away from BF until after he sees his mom and settles things all sorts of emotions can come up. Celebrated him a few days later
Why does tomorrow have to be the day that you celebrate with your boyfriend? Keep your commitment to your family and plan to spend a different day with your boyfriend.
“They won the championship” is your answer. He has a team that will celebrate together. Go to your sisters event and make a date with him to celebrate the next day by doing something memorable with just the two of you. If you go to his event you’ll be the third wheel, not know anyone well because you’ve only been around 2 months and be miserable.
If you’d been together two years I might say go with your BF, but it’s been two MONTHS. You committed to the plans with your sister first, that’s where your responsibility lies. Celebrate with your BF another night.
What does it mean that he wants to celebrate the championship? Is it an official ceremony or something? Or just the day he has decided to see his mom? I just don’t understand why it has to be on that particular day.
Same boyfriend who wants to control what you wear? Go see your sister.
You can celebrate with him next Saturday. You have plans this Saturday that have nothing to do with how happy you are for him
Go with your sister geez. Your boyfriend shouldn’t make you choose.
Why is your sister fitting a wedding dress 2 years before the wedding? Her weight is going to fluctuate so much between now and then.
Your sister is having a wedding dress fitting two years before the wedding??
You’ve been with your boyfriend for two months. You’ve been with your sister your entire life.
If he hasn’t seen his mother in a year, they should have some privacy to reconnect alone.
According to your other post (3 days ago) you were traveling with him for his tournament so you saw the winning game.
He has his team to celebrate with plus his mom.
Keep your prior commitment to go with your sister.
Ahh, your sister!! Don’t do anything dumb by going to the new boyfriend event.
Why does the tournament celebration have to happen on Saturday? It’s not the same day he won, so if it can wait a few days, why not wait one more until Sunday?
Your sister, without question.
You have only been dating this guy for “about two months.”
I agree with everybody here who is saying that you had a prior commitment with your sister, and you’ve only been dating your boyfriend for two months. You can celebrate with him the day after, and to be honest, it might be the best thing for you to let him and his mother have a little alone time.
Decide for yourself and don’t deviate.
This expression of personal power sends an unambiguous message to EVERYONE in your life.
You’ll thank me 20 years from now.
You mean your loser bf of two months who won’t let you wear a sports bar?! Jesus. The bar really is in hell.
It’s been two months…family comes first in this case
You should almost always go with the prior commitment that you obligated yourself to and rightfully so
You can celebrate him in the evening or next day
Girl, STOP.
Wedding dress shopping! No brainer! You can celebrate with him later. You already KNOW you should go dress fitting with your sister instead. You ALREADY KNOW. You don’t need our permission. Be a big girl and go to the dress fitting. You’ve got this. 🤣
AGAIN. YOU ALREADY KNOW.
two months? over your sister?
OP, go with your sister, you keep your prior commitment, you can always celebrate his triumph later.
Your family is the first choice. You’ve been dating two months. If he can’t understand the importance of you family, then he’s probably not the one.
Talk to him and see if you can arrange another time to celebrate his accomplishment.
There’s one thing that bothers me about celebrating with the boyfriend and his mom… They haven’t spoken in a year, maybe it’s best for them to reconnect without a third-party?
I’m sure you are heading this but your sister is your blood. Two months with the dude? Your sister would have every right to be hurt beyond belief.
You can still celebrate your bf’s accomplishments later.
If he hasnt seen his mother in a year after a traumatic falling out, let them have that time.
A two month relationship does not trump a sister’s once in a lifetime moment.
Go without guilt, even if bf is upset by it.
Is it dress shopping- or a dress fitting?
Let bf celebrate with teammates while you go to the dress fittings. Next day you take bf out for dinner and drinks to celebrate his win.
Does the boyfriend play an e-sport?
For only two months together you will be the AH if you don’t go with your sister.
Family
Hmm a two month long relationship or maintaining the relationship of me and my sister hmmmm that’s a real head scratcher!
NOT! Are you serious? Go with your sister.
Also you’re a piece of shit for insinuating your sister will be married multiple times.
Editing to add you’re literally already having problems with this boyfriend that you have to make a whole ass throwaway account to complain about. This relationship will not last
So… your sister’s wedding isn’t “once in a lifetime”?
Way to curse your sister. Also- did you try talking to them?
Sister!!!! Boyfriend of 2 months. No. Absolutely not.
If only there were more than one day in a week…
Sister. She’s family. The guy hasn’t been around long.
You’ve been in a relationship with your boyfriend for two months. He’s already throwing up red flags 🚩 by trying to control what you wear.
I think the choice should be easy, go with your sister.
Sit down with your bf and tell him the situation you are in. See how he reacts. But go with family. Mostly for your grandmother. A dress fitting isn’t that important (man’s point of view) but maybe for your mom and grandmother it is. Hard choices should be shared. talk
You go to your sisters dress fitting.
Sisters before misters. Especially if you have only been with said mister for “about two months”
2 months? Nah. You made a commitment already, stick to it.
Sisters before misters.
Family
He hasn’t had contact with his mother after a traumatic falling out and he wants his girlfriend of TWO MONTHS when he sees his mother? Do you see how inappropriate and crazy this is? He is slapping you with red flags.
Your boyfriend is a dick who thinks sports bras- aka- workout clothes- are too revealing, but he walks around shirtless in front of hundreds of people. Seriously.. FUCK that guy! Go with your sister!