My husband tells me he doesn’t, but I want the real scoop. I’m scared of starting a family because I know this takes a toll on the mother’s body and skin.
How do you view women who have a little baby weight, some crows feet, and a little stomach ripple from growing a family?
Comments
Please do not delete your post after receiving your answer. Consider leaving it up for posterity so that other Redditors can benefit from the wisdom in this thread.
Once your thread has run its course, instead of deleting it, you can simply type "!lock" (without the quotes) as a comment anywhere in your thread to have our Automod lock the thread. That way you won’t be bothered by anymore replies on it, but people can still read it.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Not at all I think it’s beautiful and it’s what gave me my children. I’ll always find beauty in that
Doesn’t even cross my mind, i do know there are «men» who do care tho, but they generally arent the type you wanna be with anyway
Not at all. I actually think the stretch marks look pretty cool. Like they are battle scars. Earning your stripes is kind of sexy. I have stretch marks, too, from when I was fat, and I’m not ashamed of them. I’m proud of them.
No. I’m not focusing on those things but the person who has them.
I couldn’t care less about stretchmarks, some fat, etc. There must be some serious medical condition going on for a woman’s body to be a turn-off.
Wrinkles just aren’t attractive. I hate them on myself, I don’t think they’re attractive on women. Unfortunately they show up no matter what.
Nope don’t care, its natural. I’m hardly a perfect specimen either
I prefer a bit of imperfection.
Attractiveness is important, but usually only shallow people have, and prefer perfect physical features.
My wife gave birth to our wonderful kid. I find her even more beautiful than ever. She’s a loving mother. Hell no I don’t care about a few wrinkles. We both gained some weight and we have a little angel to take care of.
The only important things in a long term relationship is steadfast support, and unconditional love. I don’t mean putting up with abuse, but always being a team and facing life together, not letting it pull either of you down or out of the relationship. You should both be each other’s biggest cheerleader, helper and caregiver……both ways. Anything else is irrelevant. So few people are capable or willing to TRULY be loving, kind and dedicated……all the physical crap means nothing if that is there emotionally. What is your heart and soul like? Everyone ages, few people are actually kind hearted, giving and truly loving to their partner.
Depends. I love my partner so much more after she had our child, and think she is more beautiful than ever.
If I met a stranger I’d probably think she is more attractive if she never had kids. For many more reasons than stretch marks.
No
Not even slightly, its "my" stretchmarks, they come from that beautiful son sleeping over there. I thank her, often, for going through that. She does feel a bit on the subject though, and I ofc understand that, nobody likes to gain weight or have scars, but for me its all beautiful and a part of our lives.
Not much.
Not even thinking about it
It doesn’t worry me one bit. Nor does the post-baby belly. What I hope for is a warm smile and a kind heart and the closest friendship that lasts for life.
>My husband tells me he doesn’t, but I want the real scoop.
That is the real scoop
If you don’t believe your husband, then why would you believe us?
We don’t give a single fuck. Only women do.
Some do, some don’t
My wife complains about her stretch marks and non gravity defying boobs….. I adore them. They have fed and housed my three beautiful children and they are reminders of what she has brought us into the world and how amazing her body really is for doing it. The wrinkles around her eyes and lips are reminders of the smiles and laughs we’ve shared over our 20 years together.
My favourite sayings are “The meat ain’t done til it’s got grill marks” and “bones are for the dog, meat is for the man.”
The battle scars you carry are where the character lives and depth of character is far better than being shallow and unflawed. Knowing you have a partner who has felt the hardships and pain of life with you and endured it to be the person they are today is truly special.
Couldn’t care less.
This topic should be a megathread at this point.
Take care of your body and skin while pregnant. No one knows what the future will bring. Even if your future husband(s) are ok with it, you need to be ok with it.
No.
The issue is that Western women don’t have just a little baby weight, nor do they have a little ripple.
2/3 of women are either overweight or obese.
Any type of signs of cellulite, ripples, etc. No no no for me…
had a gf many years ago, she had some baby weight and she didn’t like how her knees/feet looked. Never once bothered me, also she stands for long hours at work and does cs on the side, frankly i’m not suprised that her feet seem a little swollen back then. I was frankly worried, tbh even tho i’m not with her anymore, I do occasionally find myself worrying about it (even tho there’s literally nothing I can do now). If its a legit relationship with genuine feelings, I don’t think the guy will care at lol, and if the stomach thing is a result of a pregnancy, frankly like most men I would probably find that be beautiful.
Boys might care. Men don’t.
Nah… never been an issue for me
If wrinkles and stretch marks are an issue, then the man clearly has an immature, unrealistic view on womens’ bodies.
My wife is in her 40s and has birthed 6 kids.
Wrinkles, stretch marks, and she is worried about her weight and "jiggly bits".
I have never been more attracted to her
I am 60 and in decent shape, speaking solely for myself some of the most attractive people, both as people and as sexual partners are mothers that are my age and look it. Wrinkles happen, body changes from child birth happens
I don’t know you or your husband but if a family is a life goal of his, he’s more likely to leave you for a partner who is excited to do that with him than he is to leave you because of the changes it might have on your body.
They really don’t. Everyone has stretch marks & wrinkles of various sorts. That’s natural aging,
I find stretch marks on women to be highly attractive, preferably to women without them. While I am now 56, I’ve felt the same way through my younger years, as have many of my friends. A “real” woman is a real attraction.
My first love had stretch marks on her hips from when she developed too fast when she was a girl. Lots of women have stretch marks for all sorts of reasons. Most women with large breasts have stretch marks, in my experience.
All these things like stretch marks and wrinkles are retouched out or filtered out of glamor shots.
Flawless s skin doesn’t exist. Beautiful women DO exidt.
These things are part of the beauty of every woman that I’ve ever loved or been attracted to.
Men don’t care about battle scars. We love them.
It’s our flaws and imperfections that make us who we are, life is a journey and our bodies reflect that journey.
Any mature man wouldn’t care as we aren’t perfect either.
Kendrick said it well
“Show me somethin’ natural, I wanna feel some stretch marks”
He’ll probably find you more attractive after you have kids.
Not at all. My wife’s stretch marks are sexy.
The men who hate stretch marks, wrinkles, cellulite and stuff are generally quite vocal about it. You would have known already it was an issue.
Stretch marks don’t bother me. The only ones who usually talk s*** are other women lol.
I’ve been insanely attracted to women who have plenty of flaws and are objectively (according to plenty of other people) not all that attractive.
A wrinkle here or stretch mark there… meh, not even a consideration.
No issues here. I have dated many beautiful MILFs each with their share of marks from childbirth.
No
If you don’t trust your husbands answer, that’s something ya’ll need to talk about.
I just hate stretch marks
I am the men monolith 🗿.
I so sayeth no not if you’re married and love each other. Or they just really like you.
Monolith has spoken.
How many times does this sub reddit have to tell the ladies men are much more direct. Are women that dishonest you doubt everything?
Like why is this so difficult. If you have a bunch of wrinkles and wonder why a 20 year old isn’t interested I think you know the answer. If you are in your 30s and got wrinkles, and he’s got winkles so what. Men do in fact bond.
There a difference between wrinkles and not taking care of yourself and admitting that. If you spent your weekends in the sun and now have really damaged skin for your age well…accept it. If a partner took better care of themselves I suggest you really appreciate that about them.
The older I’ve gotten (M51) the more I think some wrinkles are cute. On an attractive woman I like some wrinkles in the corner of the eyes.
In general the older I’ve gotten my tastes have changed. I like what I call a mom bod. Some wrinkles, maybe a little pooch, and a juicy mom butt/thighs, and big baby making breasts.
Girls in the 20’s look like kids to me.
Some men do. But I like to think most of us accept our own bare scalps, dark eye circles, silver hairs, bellies, wrinkles, and blemishes as well as accepting those of our spouses. FWIW, my grandparents have been married about 60 years now and look at eachother with the same amount of love as the day they met.
I used to date this girl who had cystic fibrosis. She had had her heart and lungs replaced and a bunch of other surgeries. Her whole torso was scarred up, and she was self conscious about them. But I always thought they were bad ass and I told her that every scar she has gave me a chance to spend more time with her.
When we’d be sitting watching TV or something, I’d run my fingers along them and call them her tiger stripes.
She passed away a few years ago, but not a day goes by where I don’t think of and miss her. Every scar, wrinkle, stretch mark.. everything about her is burnt into my mind.. and she’s always been the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen!!!
Honestly if they do, that’s a red mark in itself. It’s completely natural.
Don’t care. It’s awesome when you flaunt what you’ve got!
Have your babies, stay healthy and fit, and quit worrying. There’s a reason the term “milf” became popular.
In general, no, I don’t care one bit, especially getting into the 30+ age range now…
As far as being married to my partner, definitely do not care in the slightest about it…
A little belly fat is fine, stretch marks fine…..wrinkles….i don’t even like having wrinkles myself, so the wrinkles are the least attractive.
No.
Yes. I find women with them even more attractive.
Eh I’m pretty superficial so I prefer less wrinkles and belly fat. As you get older it’s harder to find a partner without some wrinkles though. I often find myself at odds with the people who say that they don’t like younger women. I get older and my tastes haven’t changed much. I still prefer youthful beauty to women with wrinkles.
Then again I liked milfs back when I was a teen too. I just think I’ll hit a point where women my own age won’t excite me anymore
Do you really think your husband would change his feelings because of life?
We all get older. We all get wrinkles, grey hair, extra weight, etc. My wife is as beautiful to me now as she was 20+ years ago.
No. Next question
There’s lots of performative niceness in this thread. I think the reality is something like, if your relationship is good (and stays good with the baby) it won’t matter at all; otherwise it might. All comes down to trust and knowing your partner.
Never had an issue with it with my ex wife
For me personally I don’t care for it. That is to say that there are men who do find that attractive. If my wife had them I would not care, but I would not go out of my way to be an asshole and make fun of it or something. I know some dudes who do that. 😬
Keep it in line or I will delete the whole post.
It’s a bit complicated but the more the like you the less they care/more they like those too. I don’t like to admit that I have a soft spot for softness.
It depends on how she got them.
Honestly, this is one of those things that women care tons about, and tell themselves it’s the men who care about it, even though like I said it’s women who go around thinking about it and men don’t have an issue with it. It’s like being thin, that way. I’ve almost never heard a man say that the thinner a woman is, the better, but I’ve heard it so often from women’s magazines, websites and books. (No offense meant.)
The same is true for men getting bulked up.
Let me reverse the question.
Do women care if men have wrinkles or stretch marks or a bit of fat?
Aging- it’s inevitable.
Do we all wish we could stay young forever? Maybe, but none of us should expect time to not take its toll. It comes with the territory of being human.
So to answer your question, no. Do what you can to limit time’s effect, sure- but being in love with someone means you accept their flaws, accept their defects, are still attracted to them, and care for and love them just the same.
Some wrinkles make women look better. and when you get to the part where you get to see stretch marks theres probably a penis going into something and i doubt any men cares at that point..
There’s a reason why MILF is a whole category.
I mean men aren’t a monolith…. If your husband doesn’t mind, what do you care what other men think lol
Oh my God. I loooooooooove the stretch marks and little belly pooch my wife has from giving me my kids!
Had you asked me as a young man without kids, Is have said we’ll tolerate them. They aren’t really a big deal.
After the "Dad" transformation though? Those things are GOLD. As a man, you begin to understand why ancient fertility goddesses look the way they do.
Those are marks that I put there. She is mine and she is ride or die.
It might all be a bit primal and patriarchal, but it’s sincere, genuine attraction and bonding.
Dude…
These questions aren’t constructive and they’re just spam. AskMenOver30 isn’t a place for women to seek validation about their insecurities (it gets out of hand very quickly if allowed) and nobody here can help you with that (meaning that eventually, you’ll just end up asking again).
Good luck. Live your best life.