For those who carry more weight, or just generally aren’t slimmer or the typical desirable body type (fit but curvy , flat stomach, muscular in the right places), do you have a harder time recieving interest?
Do you face rejection more, too, if you express interest yourself?
I know this is incredibly subjective. I am probably indulging my insecurities here, but really I worry about facing rejection on the basis of my body. I like how my body looks…but it’s not perfect. I don’t have much to offer up top, I don’t have a flat stomach, and I’m soft/chubby everywhere even if my shape is still feminine/hourglass.
For that reason I’m really afraid to ever express interest in people i like. Also…j don’t know if this is importsnt to mention but I’ll explain anyway in case. I’ve noticed my “type” tends to be men who are a bit on the slimmer side, like the tall and lanky kind of build. I don’t have a strong preference for it but I noticed that the personalities I find attractive (shy, reserved, nerdy, studious) tend to be built this way 😂 which makes me even MORE insecure cause they probably wouldn’t want someone whose bottom half is probably double theirs 😭😭😭 I do like normal or larger builds too but I’m noticing a pattern here lol.
So as someone who is of a softer/chubbier build, do I need to be more conscious of who I approach or engage with for marriage/dating? I’m normally confident but I do feel self conscious about this because I simply have no clue. Some men have expressed interest before but not in the respectful way. The people who have sent proposals haven’t seen me, so I can’t gauge on that either.
Note: I mention marriage and proposals in my post cause I don’t date, for personal preference and religious reasons.
Comments
Dating is how you get to engagement and marriage.
No one on My 600-lb life is single.
If there is a way the human body can be configured in, a particular amount of meat on the skeleton……
Someone out there is all about it. Find someone that likes the way you are more than the way you look and you’ll be fine.
As for marriage……why would you want that unless you’re a man who wants kids?
It’s all preference, for some reason preferring larger women is sometimes shamed? Makes no sense to me. No matter what size you are some men will prefer you others won’t, but most likely the right person isn’t overly concerned with your size.
In my experience, yes and no?
Like, no in that – there really is someone for everyone
But yes in that, your dating pool might be smaller (depending on how you yourself will curate it based on what you are looking for in a partner, and so finding a match in a smaller pool may be harder.
But also it’s better to be alone than to be with someone who ONLY cares about how you look.
I’m a fat girl, have been since I was 18.
First guy I seriously dated was short and thin.
Second guy I seriously dated was tall and thin.
Third guy? Short and thin.
Guy I married? Short and fat.
I haven’t had a problem dating or getting married because I make my interest known. I’m just realizing that every guy I’ve been with, I asked them out. (I had a few rejections, too, but meh.)
There are plenty of guys who like fat women. I have been different sizes of fat, but every man I’ve slept with liked the fact that I was soft, cuddly and had something to hold on to. They did not give a fuck that my body wasn’t perfect.
After all, I didn’t give a fuck that their body wasn’t perfect. How they made me feel was the sexy part.
Confidence is key. So, so key.
Equal amounts of men will reject fat women as will reject skinny women. Only the skinny preference men are socialized to be justified & open with their reasoning though. Bro, just say you don’t feel the chemistry like the rest of us.
Gym goers specifically tend to LOVE curvy women. But there’s all types. People have a broad range of preferences. A friend of mine won’t call a guy back if he has anything more than 4 inches in the pants. Seemed strange at first, but then I realized that’s only because of societal expectations. To each their own match.
TLDR; Plenty of people are hornily thinking about your specific body type right now. Both a 6’ tall weight lifter man & a short thin beachy woman are obsessed with my soft warm fat body atm.
I’ve dated almost exclusively thin men but have never had a problem receiving attention from men of all shapes and sizes. My current partner is under 180 and has a farm boy build. I’m about 100 lbs heavier and he wouldn’t mind if I actually put on a few more pounds lol. I’m gonna marry the shit out of this man.
I met my husband when I was at my fattest. I wasn’t mid-size even, I was plus size. He’s a pretty hulked out muscle bro. We had instant chemistry and he has loved me exactly the same through serious weight fluctuations. I lost near 100 lbs and have recently gained some back because I’m very pregnant 😅.
At no point has his attraction to me changed. I count myself lucky, but also when we first started dating people would straight up comment that we were an “interesting looking couple” ugh. So, not saying there’s no social stigma, but it doesn’t necessarily have bearing on who will be into you and who won’t. I don’t have a serious body type preference, but I’ve met plenty of fat guys who don’t date fat girls. I lived in a military town for a while and saw lots of couples with fat women and fit men. There’s someone for everyone out there and people don’t always prefer people with the same body type as them.
I’m a mid-size woman and every man I’ve been with has been slimmer/more fit than me. Only one of them has ever made me feel insecure about my body and than was when I was two pants sizes smaller and he sucked. I have felt very both respected and desired at my size. I hope you can find that as well.
I’ve dated almost every size and shape at this point I think with zero issue. The fatphobia I face lies outside of dating, and is much more serious.
I’m disabled and because of that I’m plus size. I’ve had very little luck with relationships, and using dating apps (Tinder/Bumble) was largely a waste of time and money. I would get the occasional match/like but almost always bots or people just trolling or being mean.
Like what others have said, I think confidence and putting yourself out there to let others see you is very important. The world doesn’t really see me and so I think I’ve missed out on that aspect of life because of it. So I definitely encourage everyone to try to get out there and be seen, because you don’t want to wait until you’re way past the age of it being “acceptable” to not have experience either, which is where I landed.
I am 46 and I have always been overweight to some degree. The last decade I’ve stayed to ranging between 7-15 extra pounds, but I have been over 60 pounds heavier than I am now in the past.
Many things were different when I was heavier.… But I NEVER stopped getting hit on, even while in a relationship/marriage which should be a barrier enough.
ETA, my husband of nearly 20 years has weighed less than me about 70% of our relationship. It has never been an issue.
Short answer, no (from a happily married chubby lady). But trash does take it self out.
My husband is pretty much exactly the type of guy you describe as your preference, and I’m a curvier girl. He loves me from my head to my toes 🥰
I’ve fluctuated from plus size to skinny to midsize to plus size to mid size (wishing for a return to skinny lol) and I’ve never had a problem finding a man. And good ones for the most part with a few bad apples
Regardless of what you see online, most men don’t care about weight if you’re pretty and aren’t extremely obese/carry your weight well.
My wife is in the mid-size category I think. I’m crazy for her. I don’t want her to be skinny. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just now what I’m into.
The men who judge you for your looks aren’t keepers anyway. Your outside doesn’t determine your worth.