Pre-pandemic, I feel like me and my friends were going through the ups and downs of life like all adults do but most of us were content and satisfied with their lives, jobs, relationships and finances. We were still hopeful and somehow optimistic for the future.
This has all gone downhill in the past couple of years.
Every conversation with my friends, male and female, is a stream of complaints. About work, partners, money, anything. My friends who want kids are unable to afford them. My friends who have kids are tired and struggling. Those who were career focussed have lost their job or hate it. The only friend who has been able to buy a house has done so by not going out and not having any hobbies for years because she and the husband needed to save money. Feels like we have been sold a lie and that we got our degrees and worked our ass off for nothing. 99% of us are still renting way in our 30s and will never be able to afford to buy a house.
I just wonder if there is anyone that is happy or at least content somehow. Very hard to be in the current state of the world I am aware. I live in a rich European country so I feel like we have it better than most and still most of us are having mental health issues of some sort.
What about you and your group of friends?
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I’m happy and so are most of my friends. We don’t live in the United States. No, our lives are not perfect, and there are some things we’d like to change, but overall we’re happy.
Me. I’m happy. I have a good spouse. Supportive family. Solid friends. A house with a nice little garden that’s about to bloom everywhere with flowers. A job that pays the bills. Nothing extravagant but it’s a good life.
Edit to add: I bought a house at 40. It takes time and living like your friends who gave up big things to save money. But it was worth it.
yeah, but I think a lot of it is folks being willing to change their mindsets and learning gratitude more. like sure, maybe they wanted to buy, but they have a really awesome rental and that’s “good enough” and a lot better than most have. we wanted kids, and that’s not in the cards, but we can live a VERY fulfilled life regardless (AND enjoy less stress and more free time!). those who have had kids – it’s tough but at least they’re privileged enough to be able to afford them!
I know I have really had to actively work on being more positive/having more gratitude, as it’s easy to get sucked into “woe is me”, so maybe your friend circle could benefit from that? starting small with finding five things to be grateful for each day, etc? Gratitude journals? reducing social media consumption? therapy?
Like yeah, things are sh*t. But like – I have money in my bank account, can buy myself some beers with friends, put money in savings, afford my expenses, have a roof over my head, and food in my belly. I’m doing pretty darn great, all things considered.
I have never been the same since Covid. I’m not unhappy, a lot in my life is good and I actively do things like work out, eat well, take medication, etc that I know make me better, but I feel like the person I was before Covid and the person after are just different people.
When I’ve talked about this to people, most feel somewhat the same.
I’m in the US and deeply miserable. I work 2 jobs and barely make ends meet.
I’m pretty happy right now, if that counts? I can’t say I’m without stress entirely but I like my job, I like that I’m renting (because im trying on a few locations to see what sparks the most joy), I’m saving meaningfully for the first time, and my relationship with my family and friends are rebuilt after I left the guy keeping me isolated.
However, therapy—specifically working on being grateful for what I do have versus focusing on what I don’t— and antidepressants have been hugely helpful for my toolkit.
I’m not really sure where I’m going with this other than to say that venting our frustrations to other supportive women is both a core way of bonding and a great way to blow off steam—but I wouldn’t necessarily equate that venting to a reliable snapshot of someone’s overall happiness level
I’m pretty happy these days! There’s a serious dissonance watching the country I live in fall to absolute shit…. While having the best mental health and growing physical health of my lifetime. My support system is strong, I have people that I like and respect in my life, I’m liked and appreciated in my day to day life. The money aint quite right but at least no one in my family is starving or getting evicted, so!
I’m quite happy – married, same partner for almost 20 years, two beautiful children, good careers, and financially stable/home owner – but I know I am privileged (although I grew up poor). I would say that the current political and economic climate stresses me out at times, but in general, life is good.
Myself and my friends are all happy. We all have good marriages, most are empty nesters or close to it, decent jobs, we hang out together regularly, etc.
I’m happy and so are like 2/3 of my friends. About the same proportion as prepandemic.
I’m happy. I think it’s just all been about finding joy in the little moments. If I focus solely on how draining having a newborn can be or arguments with my husband or work etc I could see how I could get really worn down. But, I love where I live, I love seeing the water and the mountains, I love sitting by a bonfire on a Friday night, I love a good beer and great food, I love laughing with my husband at 1am deliriously tired. Idk I just love life, even the hard moments are teaching me something and they make the great moments even brighter. I just focus on the day ahead of me and soak in the good moments and intentionally carve them out if they’re few and far between.
I feel like my friend group and I are generally pretty happy or at least content (early thirties in the US). The extent of unhappiness that I’ve heard is just a few people here and there that feel overworked, but they acknowledge it’s self-inflicted because they’re chasing promotions and could take a step back in a less stressful job if they really wanted to.
Yes, I am consistently happier than I’ve ever been. I have an incredible partner, adorable pets, an apartment with a small garden, tons of friends, and a job that pays me well enough. I’m out enjoying nature every day. I eat what I like and I’m active so I stay healthy. I did not have any of these things before COVID, except for my dog (who is my ride or die copilot for life). I feel a lot of gratitude but also recognize my current life is the result of a lot of work, reflection, and healing.
I’m a bit anxious about the state of the world whilst being a parent, but overall I’m happy! Most of my friends are quite happy too. Might help that I don’t live in the US, which seems like a complete dumpster fire 🤷🏻♀️
I’m pretty happy and so are most of my friends. For context we’re early 30s young professionals living in metro Australia and Europe
I’m happy. I don’t have some of the things you mentioned, but I echo what someone else mentioned about changing your mindset. There’s joy everywhere and it can look differently for everyone. Maybe you don’t own a house, but you’re renting in an area you love and you have a roof over your head. I get it though…things have been hard for a lot of people!
I’m happy because I choose to be happy. Overall my life isn’t too bad. I have great family, new job, house, hobbies, my kids are absolute perfection, good husband… however I’m also waiting for biopsy results (had cancer already twice in my early twenties), just finished recovering from two year long postpartum health issues, was made redundant recently, lost a good friendship and currently work to cover childcare bill.
There’s always something wrong in life, but I believe it’s the attitude towards the issues that really makes the difference in how one feels about life in general.
I’m pretty miserable lol
I’m happy
Me. I fucking love my life. I work from home, live alone 15 minutes from the beach, moved to the subtropics, I have an amazing new partner and new friends. I am bursting with happiness. I cry somedays because I feel so blessed. I’m 30 too. Not everyone is miserable.
I’m very happy. I’m 34, renting, single and childfree and I have never been happier. All I need to be happy is my health, my friends and family, freedom and a little bit of adventure. I have all of that in my life. I see friends who struggle (everyone with young kids + a few unhappy singles), but a lot of my friends are also happy.
Perhaps you are too focused on the things you do not have instead of being grateful for what you do have. I became a lot happier when I started practicing gratefulness a few years ago.
Ps. Also from Western Europe, not sure if I would be happy if I was in the US right now.
Yeah. No one’s happy about politics or economic worry but general life, pretty much everyone I talk to regularly is quite content. New babies, new marriages, going back to school for new careers – lots of chaotic but happy stuff happening for everyone. Personally I’m quite happy too.
One of my friends who I’ll call Jane has been through hell and back. She was in the rare circumstance of one who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in its earliest stage. Her doctors recommended a Whipple procedure, which removes a significant amount of multiple organs in the torso. That was three years ago, and Jane has had no recurrence of any cancer . She and her wonderful husband have been married for over 20 years and have three fantastic children. After her diagnosis she retired from her governing with a full pension, and she spends her days doing all sorts of artistic work, and running their home. Though it took a lot of pain and fear and suffering to get to this point, I think Jane is truly happy.
I was okay pre-pandemic, but the first couple of years were rough during. I started therapy and changed a lot of things in my life – jobs, friends, made amends with family, and am now engaged. I love my current job and the people around me are supportive and uplifting. Life’s still not perfect, but I’m pretty happy and don’t have much to complain about.
“Happy” in this case makes me think of “ignorance is bliss”.
I’m pretty happy rn. Things aren’t perfect by any means. I hated my job but I was able to change careers, which has been hard but worth it. I don’t desire to own a home, especially as a single person which I am. I’d love to have a spouse but I’ve got a great group of friends and family. America is a dumpster fire right now but I’m only focused on what I can do and what I can control. I’ve got an array of mental health problems but I’m medicated and have a great therapist. There are definitely things that I want that I don’t have yet but I’m moving forward.
I am! Since adopting the mindset if I can’t do anything about it I shouldn’t stress out about it, it’s a lot better. I try to keep people that are negative like that at an arms length unless it’s something serious or just regular here and there negativity. I’ve started living a very slow intentional life in a camper in the middle of the woods, no water but I fill up water at a nearby spring, a huge garden and limit social media- no instagram or Facebook, Reddit and TikTok in the evening. I have an amazing husband and a few really great friends. Maybe it’s a bit avoidant and isolated, but this is the happiest I’ve ever been.
I’m happy, in a weird way.
My happiness peaked during covid… I had so much extra time without commuting while doing my job perfectly fine from home. I got so fit, pursued hobbies and passions. And now I feel so disillusioned with life. Back at the office, unhappy, no time for myself, and poorer than I’ve ever been, despite being on a lot more money. I just learned there was a lot more to life those years spending time with my family and how much of a difference an extra few hours a day make…. Now it’s back to normal I feel cheated of it. I feel like I’m wasting my life making money for someone else without having any time to put into myself.
We all deserve better than this life tbh.
Yes I have noticed this. I have lost a bit of my spark and many of my friends seem similar. I just don’t care about my career anymore, because the former progress I made now seems to count for nothing, many jobs seem meaningless, my expensive master’s degree from an elite university has proved mostly useless, and I am just generally angry at the exploitative capitalist system we all have to live under. Everything is too expensive, people are too broke, tired and depressed to socialise. Forget having children, I can barely afford to look after one pet. I also think technology has made life less human, many of us are increasingly alienated and unable to be fully present. Then there is the general state of the world. Things are not good.
I’m happy with what’s going on in the walls of my household. I am childfree, have a wonderful spouse, have a nice little house with a nice garden. I live in a beautiful place and enjoy it every single day. When I think about what’s going on in the world, I am utterly sick to my stomach. But I am happy with the the things that are in my control. It’s a weird feeling.
Im happy but have a lot of healing work to do.
I left my 9 year relationship in 2023, and I am just so happy that I made that decision. I could have married him and had his kids, and I would have been miserable (but financially comfortable).
Its like I saved my own life, and I get to be on this new path, and Im so grateful for it.
Me!
I was extremely unhappy during COVID though. But I did get lucky in so many ways – able to buy a place, loving family, good friends, and a job I enjoy. I’m in Canada, it’s spring time and the sun is out, all that helps.
I’m the happiest I’ve been in a while, and I feel bit guilty about that due to the state of the world. As many here have echoed I think I had been through a lot since Covid, but in the last year or so I feel like I have made strides in strengthening my mental health. I decided to make an effort to not let the things I can’t control affect me. Practicing gratitude and journaling helped me to develop better coping mechanisms.
Earlier this year I was laid off for the first time, and really took it in stride. At any other point in my life I would likely have been paralyzed with anxiety, but I did my best to reframe it as opportunity to change something that wasn’t working for me. Now I have a new job I enjoy much more and I’m relocating across the country for it.
It dawned on me how much of my younger life was wasted worrying about things that were beyond my control. Life is too short, and the world will always be chaotic. Protecting your peace is so important and making sure you find time for things that bring you joy.
Helping others also helps me to feel less powerless. I’ve been helping friends improve their resumes with what I learned in my job hunt and I volunteer weekly for meals on wheels. Helping out in my community has made me feel less powerless with all the negativity happening in the world.
I feel like Covid propelled us into a alternate universe that is absolutely trash and social media 🗑️ 🚮
Literally everyone I know including myself are on either anti-anxiety or antidepressants and in therapy. We’re all successful, married people with a lot going for us, but idk how anyone could be mentally okay right now.
I have a sense of disillusionment ever since COVID, because I feel like we got a glimpse of what a better society could look like, and then we didn’t go for it. Note: I had a fairly privileged experience living through COVID, and I know this perspective is biased by that.
During early COVID especially, there was a sense of unity as we all went through this terrible unknowable thing together. We were able to share and witness other people’s experience of the thing, in real time, from all over the world. It resulted in what I see as an unprecedented (at least in our lifetime) feeling community and connection – and compassion. We were suddenly seeing people in the context of their personal lives: seeing inside their homes, meeting their pets, hearing their kids in the background. And we were all fumbling through it and just doing our best, so we gave each other grace.
Life also just slowed down. We had nowhere to go, which actually meant we had more time available to us – and all of it at home. We were bored (and stir crazy), which meant we were creative. We were isolated, which meant we craved and valued human connection. We were scared, and so we made music every evening at 7pm to attempt to do something that might help somehow, even if just to lift each other’s spirits.
And structurally, things changed too. In Canada, there was a temporary universal basic income for anyone who couldn’t work. In my city, there were food programs for vulnerable families or individuals, delivered to their homes. We leant into social services. And it felt good.
And then, eventually, we just walked it all back and reverted to “normal” – “normal” being a neoliberal (capitalist) hellscape. Not only is it depressing to be here at all, but it’s even MORE depressing to be here when we had temporarily experienced something else. Like, we know a different world is possible.
I think there’s also a sense of powerlessness and resentment, because it’s clearer than ever that reason we’re not living in a better world is because it’s not advantageous to the market or the people in power, and so they do everything in their power to convince the masses that we actually want to live this sub-optimal existence, and they succeed, and here we are. And because it serves the people in power, they orchestrate it so that we fight with each other instead of focusing on them, and we do, and they win, and the hellscape is perpetuated. We all become the worst and least realized versions of ourselves and limp from day to day.
And yes, I also think there were really unpleasant aspects of humanity revealed through COVID as well, and that sucks too. But for me, it’s mostly about the systems of power in place. And those seem so big, and we feel so small. It’s defeating. And when I’m feeling bad in an existential sense, that’s where it stems from.
Having said all of that… I do feel real joy in my day-to-day life. A large part of that is because I work in a field I’m passionate about doing something that I view as being objectively good for the world. But also, and perhaps even more importantly, I do that work with a very regional/local focus, which means I get to be on the ground implementing small-scale change. Will it save the world? No. But it feels good to do good things and see them come to fruition, which can be easier when you scale down. That is the single most positive motivator in my life right now, and I know that is a privilege, too.
I think I went through a grieving period I didn’t necessarily realize. It hit me shortly after Covid when life wasn’t what I thought it would be for myself. I definitely thought I would be married, with a home by now but instead I’m experiencing the opposite. Covid felt weird in general, but afterwards I’m just still going through the grieving stages of realizing things don’t turn out at planned. The energy I even feel from strangers is a bit rough and I’m typically pretty optimistic even in the worse of situations. I think I’m content in general, but that true feeling of happiness I don’t think I’ve felt that for a long time and my friends I think the happiness comes in waves depending upon what stressors they are currently facing.
I had to leave home and go travelling for 7 months around Europe because everyone was so unhappy back home (New Zealand).
I feel this so heavily
I’m happy. I left the UK, I live in a developing country now but quality of life is better. I do have an above average salary and that’s a privilege I’m aware of, but also I worked hard for my career to get to this point. Life is difficult but it’s important to keep perspective of things. I hope you and your friends find what you’re looking for.
I don’t know if I’m happy necessarily, but I’m happier than I’ve ever been. Took the pandemic to recognize I was in an emotionally and financially abusive relationship and about to marry a temper-tantrum-throwing child. Now I live in a beautiful, vibrant city, with wonderful friends with the time and energy to pursue so many loves and interests that I never could before because of the weight I was carrying from a shit partner.
It’s not perfect but I’m doing better.
I am.
My personally life has never been better, my relationships have never been stronger and my financial position is pretty good.
I am certainly not happy about the direction of the world, but I have a kind of fervent belief that humanity will overcome capitalism and liberalism and survive.
I’m happy. WFH ever since Covid which I love. I bought a house in 2022. Had my first baby in 2023, just found out I’m pregnant with our second. I’m exhausted yes. But overall I’m doing what I want. Making good money, tons of flexibility to be with my daughter. We don’t go out as much because working and kids is a lot but I know it won’t be forever. I actually lost my mom unexpectedly to cancer and both of her parents, who I was very close to, all in the last year, and my dad died when I was little. Overall seeing my daughter growing up brings me so much happiness all things considered. I wish my mom was around, but otherwise, there isn’t anything more I can ask for.
I’d say most people in my life as far as I’m aware are pretty happy/content with their lives. The world/economy is messy and I’m sure that contributes to some destabilisation, stress, and maybe a bit of uncertainty, but inside their own lives, it’s generally pretty good.
Yes, I’m happy about 70% of the time and content about 30%.
I’ve been on a damn roller coaster since Covid. Highs and lows. Right now it’s really, really low. But at least I have my cat and my health.
I’m pretty happy with my life post-covid. I have a home with my partner and pets with a great yard, the best community of friends, including my incredible womens circle that started during the thick of covid, and I live in a fun and vibrant city. I left my stressful job 3 years ago to start my own handmade fashion brand and it’s going well.
I do, on the other hand, live in the US, so everything going on here is awful. Luckily, my state feels relatively safe and is trying hard to protect our rights. We, and many friends in our circle, have definitely experienced incredible hardships. Marital problems, toxic jobs, mental health problems, cancer, infertility, raising kids with no family support.. it has all taken a toll, but I think having a strong sense of community and deep friendships has helped everyone pull through.
I don’t actually think what you wrote was different for previous generations either at our age. I do think it’s far more prevalent and worse for millennials AND add in we were raised to believe we can achieve anything if we work hard for it (god what a fantastic sounding yet damaging message).
I work in IT and there’s been so many layoffs and regardless of what people say about money not buying happiness – it certainly does if you need it to keep a roof over your head, to spend time with your friends, to go on dates, to afford kids you want or already have. Also for the parents – that shit is hard without all the extra stress of the world as it currently is, cost of living, number of redundancies etc. it’s bleak out here. Really bleak.
I’m happy! I experienced a lot of trauma in my childhood and have overcome a lot of obstacles in my life but things have turned out well for me. I have a wonderful husband and a great kid. I have a fulfilling career that pays me well and together with my husband’s income, we were able to buy a nice house in a good neighborhood. I got to spend my 20’s traveling and having fun. I can’t really complain.
I’m pretty happy. I started community college in 2022 and am about to graduate with my nursing degree! I’m really excited about the opportunities having a career is going to give my family. We’ll finally be able to take our kids on family trips a couple times a year and do some small house renovations. Plus I’m just extremely proud of myself!! First gen college student graduating at 31!😊
I live in the US so our country at large depresses me, but I try to focus on what I have control over.
I’m pretty happy, I’d say. There’s bad stuff, sure! The world is not built to accommodate ADHD, bigotry is rampant, and we’re all forced to exist within the acceleration of late stage capitalism, oligarchy, and climate change.
But even so, I have a roof over my head, stability, plenty of creature comforts, a cat, a girlfriend who I love so much, supportive friends and family, I get to do things I enjoy and am passionate about, I see beauty and joy in all the little things like going on walks, the texture of tree bark, little creatures, or the way light reflects off water. On top of that, I am unapologetically being myself at all times!
I spend a lot of time laughing, smiling, and feeling fulfilled and seen. Despite the state of the world I am hopeful for the future. And that’s all I can really ask for right now!
I know people that are CONTENT; but not happy.
These responses are fascinating. Personally, I very much relate. I’m 30 now; I was 25 and in grad school for social work in the US when covid hit, so I had the ~wonderful~ experience of aging out of my parents’ health insurance and being uninsured during a pandemic.. while I was also PAYING to intern in a hospital which was necessary to graduate.
Many of my friends are social workers, teachers, and public health professionals who are currently dealing with the imminent threat of layoffs if they haven’t already been laid off. There are so many things I’m grateful for, but I’d be blatantly lying if I said my friends and I are generally happy right now. I know we’re certainly not the only ones, but we’re the quintessential young millennials/ancient gen zs who “did everything right” and got absolutely fucked in reward
I have become somewhat of a misanthrope post Covid. Most people irritate me these days, so many have fallen for the MAGA/Plandemic/TradWife/Flat Earth nonsense et al. Don’t get me wrong, I have some lovely people in my life but my social battery is very very short. 2 hours with a friend is enough for me these days.
I’m happy with my life and in life and so is my friends. I can’t recognize this at all. Yes things has gotten more expensive but it’s not something that affects my happiness 😊
I’m also the type of person that truly appreciates the small things in life.
I’m happy! 6 weeks postpartum with a beautiful baby and a job to go back to that pays really well that I love. I’ve traveled extensively, partied a ton, dated some extremely wealthy and/or incredible people. Happy to have settled down. I’m in good shape, and conventionally attractive. My husband and I really struggled while I was pregnant, but we did couples therapy and things feel great there. He’s a wonderful father. I’m excited to be able to have sex again after my doctor signs off soon. I have a bunch of wonderful friends. We have a lovely, well behaved dog. My in laws are amazing, they’re like friends to me that I talk to often. They like visiting us, and we travel with them as a family often. We own our home. We both have nice new cars.
I know I’m bragging but I grew up poor, abused, and really didn’t think I’d ever have the type of life I have now. And I think it’ll only keep getting better.
I’m happy and was probably at my happiest throughout COVID, I loved just being able to stay in with my boyfriend with no obligations to go out or travel to see family. I started a new job that was really fulfilling at the beginning of COVID. I like my life now, it has its ups and downs but I get through it.
I live in a poor third world country and I am trying my best to live a normal life. My love life is in shambles. I only work and study most of the day. I am not sure how much of is it the current environment but I have given up on a lot of things and I am not as hopeful as I was 5 years ago. Most of the time I don’t feel anything.
I’m happy! I love my parents and husband and my life!!!!
Honestly? Not many. We hear from folks every day who feel disconnected, burned out, and kind of… over it. But you know what? The ones who find little joys — even tiny ones — tend to hang on better. Real happiness might just be in the weird, small stuff these days. And that’s okay.
I am happy. My marriage fell apart during covid but I also went to grad school while working full time which made me feel invincible. Bought a house during the year before covid and the value has skyrocketed. I feel so lucky after coming from a very toxic, abusive childhood situation. I have great friends, pets, and just got a bisalp so I don’t have to worry about birth control anymore, because who knows where that’s going? I don’t make as much $ as I thought I would by now, but I have enough to live. I enjoy living alone and going solo more than I did being married. Life is good.
Less happier recently but i try to think i can still find the one and build a family
My boyfriend. He’s happy and content 99% of the time, and having spent the last year in a relationship with him I can say that there’s something fundamentally different in the way our brains are wired. Though I can’t say I’ve seen him have to go through any real challenge or hardship yet, but even just his high satisfaction with the day to day. It’s one of the things I admire most about him. Though he’s made decisions to keep his life lower stress, so he’s staying in a job that pays enough and has a really decent shift pattern and working conditions. He’s not particularly ambitious and happy to lead a good enough life. He’s able to take joy from the simple every day things in life, like he really wanted a particular type of bicycle which he managed to buy for himself and riding it and looking after it makes him really happy, whereas a lot of people would be thinking about the ‘next thing’. He doesn’t own a lot of ‘stuff’ but is happy with what he does have. When we go for walks he notices an interesting tree or a particular interest that I wouldn’t have noticed. He’s just genuinely content in his existence. The other day he told me he almost cried in the car because there was a good song on the radio and it was sunny and he felt really lucky to have the life he does. He has had challenges in his life, like quite debilitating social anxiety in his late teens, but he’s not a generally anxious person. I think I’ve decided that he just spends a lot less time ‘in his head’ than I do, we joke that his mind is like a desert with a bit of tumbleweed blowing around whereas mine is like some kind of crazy place where there’s constant talking, sometimes about more than one topic at a time and always some sort of song playing.
I wouldn’t say I’m unhappy but I get far more frustrated about the things that seem unfair in the world, the human struggle, capitalism and the current state of things. I feel like I took the red pill in the Matrix and I can see that there would be a better way for us all to live but it feels basically impossible to achieve. Like you can’t get off the conveyer because then you’d have nowhere to live. I get annoyed that we’re all working so many hours a week just to get by when so much of it doesn’t mean anything or is even detrimental to the human race. I can’t understand how a tiny house where I live can cost at least 6x my salary (and therefore is out of my reach) despite having worked my ass off to earn a salary that is higher than a large percentage of those living in my country. And how have we got to a place where the world is so expensive that the local supermarket has security tags on the big bags of dishwasher tablets to stop people from stealing them? Yesterday I saw some statistics about women’s health and underfunding and I realised that it’s probably because money spent on research related to women is spent on making them look better/younger/slimmer rather than actually keeping them alive and in good health.
Unfortunately I can’t turn my brain off from all of this and therefore I exist in some sort of permanent existential crisis, despite the fact that I’m objectively fortunate and should be happy with my lot. I have a decent job (though I’m facing significant redundancies for the third time in two years), I own a small flat, I have enough money each month, I have savings, I have a dog, I have a couple of close friends and my health is relatively good. I keep working on mindset to try and make it so I can just feel more fulfilled and grateful for those things, but I’m just so aware of all of the injustices in the world.
My group of friends definitely has a tendency towards venting when we get together but I don’t think it is because they are all, in general unhappy. I think it’s because they don’t get heaps of time for themselves as I am the only one without kids/grandkids, so it’s a chance to talk about themselves and stuff that is bugging them.
As a childfree and currently single person I sometimes feel like the happiest one in the group. I would say only one of them has a partner who does something approaching a fair share of childcare and housework.
I think i do. I have a lot of issues, one of it is I’m feverish and my brain doesn’t work properly right now. But overall, i find myself pretty blessed. I’m average person living an average life, and that’s in itself good enough. I’m living/from a third world country, and honestly i have significantly less stress than when i was in the US (severely depressed). Not to say it’s all good and wonderful here, but life feels safer and less cutthroat than the area i lived in the US i think. I guess for me, being alive, healthy, employed and can afford small luxuries is very happy already.
All I do is working every day for a company I don’t like anymore. We burning our lives like candles. On both ends.
I’ve actually been much happier the past 5 years than I was the 10 years before the pandemic. The pandemic actually helped me get my life together and I’ve been doing great. I might be a unique case but the pandemic actually removed me from my previous life because everything changed, and I got to re-start, and it’s been so much better than it was before.
I cannot relate to this. I have had incredible spiritual, financial, and career growth since Covid. My life got way better. I bought my own house at a great price years ago after covid, and I have the best job I’ve ever had, 100%WFH with great benefits and great colleagues, even my boss and boss’s boss are cool! There is no ‘return to office’ for my team. I can’t stand the thought of commuting. With the extra time I get from not commuting, I workout and do my hobbies. I’m in the best shape, and have several trips and concerts planned this yr.
I think you may want to expand your friend group. I also feel like people like me who are happy don’t want to overshare because then the leeches and narcissists come running. My friend group is very tight-knit. When I meet new people, yeah most of them are what you described, and I do not befriend them. Most people want to be ‘be friends’ in adulthood for connections that aren’t mutually beneficial. So because I am doing well, I have no desire to befriend people who aren’t. They will try to bring me down. Raise yourself up first THEN meet friends who match you.
I’m happy. My husband is happy. My in-laws, my parents, and my siblings are happy. Most of our friends are happy.
A lot of things have been different since Covid, but for me, it’s better in most aspects. I’m an introvert. My job switched to work from home, and I never went back. I’m thriving, got 3 raises, and a promotion.
I got to spend so much time with my dog, who’s now 18 yo. I ride my horse in the morning before work. I eat lunch with my husband instead of coworkers I don’t like much. I work in jeans and t-shirts.
The interest rate is going down, and my house will be fully paid before I turn 50. I’m old enough to remember the 80s rate, when houses were cheap, but an average mortgage was at 15 %.
I went back to school, which is possible only because of the fully remote curriculum (ADHD and working full-time doesn’t work with group assignments or in class schedule).
You know that feeling when you get sick and you remember how wonderful it was not to be sick and how you should have enjoyed it more? That’s how I try to live my life and I’m generally pretty happy 🙏
I’m very happy and while a few of my friends are having some trying times, for the most part, they’re ok. They lean on us when they need to and we’re always there for them.
in my personal life, things are great; I’m healthy, money in the bank, saving towards a lower bleph which I’m excited about and family is fantastic. Work could be better but eh, in my 49 years I’ve been through worse wrt work so I know how to cope and get throughout. If it’s one thing I know how to do is adapt.
I have a couple of friends who definitely are. I mean, their lives aren’t perfect, but they have decent careers, fantastic spouses, and great kids. They work hard to achieve that.
I’m not unhappy myself, though i am trying to improve on a few things. Yes, i’m terrified about my safety and career, as a STEM AFAB agender/nonbinary person. But my job (legal gender notwithstanding) is secure and likely to survive the next 4 years, due to our numerous international customers who will continue to require medicines to treat people worldwide. I wish i wasn’t experiencing some health issues, but i still have health insurance. As an adopted person the SAVE act is worrying, but i have a valid passport that doesn’t expire for 7 more years, so that’s probably safe. I am surrounded by a thriving queer and feminist community that i support and reciprocate as needed to maintain our collective safety and sense of connection.
tl;dr there are pockets of less unhappiness if you look for them and input effort to maintain them.
Covid/pandemic era fucked me up too. First I was afraid to go out of the house and then when I did go out of the house I started hating being outside. And I LOVE being outside I am an outdoorsy person and love nature. I even love people and people watching. But ever since covid all of that disappeared. And even with a sense of normalcy now it seems almost impossible to get that version of myself, or even anything in any slight resemblance of her, back.
I would tell you if my friends feel the same or not but I barely have any anymore. I have 1 best friend who we talk a couple times a year and it’s dwindling as the months go on. And 1 other friend who I met in 2019. That’s it. Idk how anyone else I knew feels about the pandemic and if they’ve had a life shift or not.
Yes. Works a easy part time job and supported financially by her adoring partner. Days off during the week to do lots of social activities and adored by the family.
I would love that kind of life.
During covid I lost my job of 13 years and also gained a second autoimmune illnesses. Someone I worked with and knew pretty well also died.
I agree that for many of us, it was like a form of PTSD that lingers on today.
Life was definitely better pre covid.
I am happy right now, and I am honestly so grateful for it. I spent most of my 20s battling with depression, anxiety, and low self-worth. I also had a lot of trauma to unpack in therapy. I actually never thought it would be possible to feel truly content or enjoy life . I’ve learned to go a lot easier on myself and not place unrealistic expectations. I have a small flat but it’s filled with love and personality. I have had a close group of supportive and unproblematic friends for 15 years. Been in stable relationship for nearly a decade, and we have both really worked on ourselves our the years. My kids are 16 next month, and they have been the joy of my life. Couldn’t be happier with how they have turned out. I work full time but only have 1 office day per week. I am studying for my professional accountancy exams, which gives me a long-term goal. In my free time I like to go for day trips, meals out, cinema, gigs, do yoga, watch tv, and read. I’ve started to care for myself better in recent years and am looking forward to what’s to come. I laugh and feel sparks of joy most days. It’s not the life I necessarily envisaged when I was young, but I know I have got it pretty good! COVID was a good hard reset for me – a chance to reclaim some time for myself and re-balance. Happiness comes and goes, but I do wish everyone out there a good long stretch – it is possible and deserved.
I feel like my body, mind, and soul completely gave into nihilism.
I feel like you have to focus heavily on where you see a growth mindset. Meaning are the people around me making good decisions, looking after their health, and enjoying life? Otherwise, it very quickly turns into a parade of sob stories. We all need to be around people who believe life is inherently good. I’ve stopped wasting energy on people who could be looking forward to something and don’t try at all. I’m not saying everything goes right, all the time. Just some adults seek negativity like little kids who seek negative attention.
I noticed I could be around women who love being a Mom and having a family. The alternative was being around women who hated their family obligations and relationships. It affects how you yourself start to act. I need good examples in my life or I become a mess too.
I think responses here will be extreme- the very happy vs the very unhappy. And the inbetweeners won’t respond. I happen to be happy. I’m married to my husband who I love. I had a difficult pregnancy/labor but now our son is born and he’s healthy too. We are paying off the mortgage for 30 years but we own a new construction home. We make a decent salary so we don’t need to worry about $. I’m a doctor, and despite the usual nonsense from admin, I like my job and find it fulfilling to see patients and teach med students/residents. Practicing medicine during Covid years was rough, but now things have settled down at work too.
Multiple aspects of my life are stable, and I’m generally happy.
Still renting and doubt I’ll ever buy. I constantly feel like I’ll get fired from my government job. Aside from that, I’m happy with my family and my hobbies and try to focus on those things
I’m happy. I’m 38 and my kids are in elementary school so the truly grinding, difficult part of parenting is over. My husband is the best man on earth. My home isn’t what I thought it would be, but I’m grateful to own it and it’s taught me a lot about loving what you have. I’ve started to try my hand at things that I thought I was never good enough to do like drawing and painting and I’m enjoying making things even though they aren’t technically “good”.