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I do! I had really low self esteem as a teenager and it has gotten much better in adulthood. The best thing I have found is to surround myself with genuinely nice people and stop scrolling through social media. “Comparison is the theft of happiness”
Yes, it is. How do I know? I suffered from low self-esteem and got over it.
How? Much was due to my work. I found something I was good at and became an expert at it.
But you don’t need to be an expert. I was able to take a class. Dale Carnegie Human Relations is what I remember it was called.
I remember a guy, a man who was getting laid off, his employer sent him to the class. He was visibly shaking as he introduced himself. English was a second language, and he was close to tears as he spoke. His employer wanted him to have a better chance of getting a job.
I watched him over the next 13 weeks. At the end of the class, he spoke again differently! Gone was the shaking, replaced by confidence. His English was better too!
The class isn’t cheap and it’s offered in more urban areas. His book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” was the center of the class. Keep in mind, it’s dated. He wrote it about 80 years ago, and the world has changed. The language is different, and women have been elevated from the kitchen.
You need to find something you are good at. It doesn’t matter what, and it doesn’t have to be compared to anyone else. You might be great at drawing or baking cakes or a martial art or dealing with aggressive dogs. Doing, and knowing you are doing it well will massively boost your self esteem.
Helping others is also a great way to feel needed and useful. That may be helping tutor younger kids, volunteering to be sports captain at school, sewing blankets for foster kids or working in a soup kitchen.
And then the basics. Stay off social media and exercise for the endorphins. You will realise that the negative self talk slows then eventually stops when you focus on other things.
Comments
REMINDER: Rules regarding civility and respect are enforced on this subreddit. Hurtful, cruel, rude, disrespectful, or “trolling” comments will be removed (along with any replies to these comments) and the offending party may be banned, at the mods’ discretion, without warning. All commenters should be trying to help and any help should be given in good faith, as if you were the OP’s parent. Also, please keep in mind that requesting or offering private contact (DM, PM, etc) is absolutely not allowed for any reason at all, no exceptions.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Please remember that your Internet Parents are not medical providers and are not qualified to diagnose anything or recommend treatment. While we might be able to help you get through minor things (picking cold medicine, treating a minor burn, etc.), please seek help from a trained medical professional if you’re dealing with a serious problem.
If you are not able to access medical care on your own, you may consider posting in a sub like /r/AskDocs or /r/DiagnoseMe where you can get help from verified medical folks.
We also recommend the Cleveland Clinic website; you can search for symptoms and get information, or search the health library for things like “food poisoning” or “dandruff.”
Posts seeking diagnoses or advice beyond basic first aid or self-care, or comments providing medical advice, may be locked or deleted at mods’ discretion.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I do! I had really low self esteem as a teenager and it has gotten much better in adulthood. The best thing I have found is to surround myself with genuinely nice people and stop scrolling through social media. “Comparison is the theft of happiness”
Yes, it is. How do I know? I suffered from low self-esteem and got over it.
How? Much was due to my work. I found something I was good at and became an expert at it.
But you don’t need to be an expert. I was able to take a class. Dale Carnegie Human Relations is what I remember it was called.
I remember a guy, a man who was getting laid off, his employer sent him to the class. He was visibly shaking as he introduced himself. English was a second language, and he was close to tears as he spoke. His employer wanted him to have a better chance of getting a job.
I watched him over the next 13 weeks. At the end of the class, he spoke again differently! Gone was the shaking, replaced by confidence. His English was better too!
The class isn’t cheap and it’s offered in more urban areas. His book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” was the center of the class. Keep in mind, it’s dated. He wrote it about 80 years ago, and the world has changed. The language is different, and women have been elevated from the kitchen.
Good luck with changing your life!
You need to find something you are good at. It doesn’t matter what, and it doesn’t have to be compared to anyone else. You might be great at drawing or baking cakes or a martial art or dealing with aggressive dogs. Doing, and knowing you are doing it well will massively boost your self esteem.
Helping others is also a great way to feel needed and useful. That may be helping tutor younger kids, volunteering to be sports captain at school, sewing blankets for foster kids or working in a soup kitchen.
And then the basics. Stay off social media and exercise for the endorphins. You will realise that the negative self talk slows then eventually stops when you focus on other things.