Do you ever get tired of always doing the right thing for your family while others just refuse to accept any responsibility?
I am an adult only child who my mom and uncle depend on for doctor visits, paperwork, finances, etc and I am happy to help but it does become overwhelming. My uncle has a daughter and three adult grandsons who live close by but they do nothing to help him. I pay his bills, do his shopping, wash his clothes, do his yard work, take him to the doctor, and check in on him regularly. The only thing I’ve ever asked them to do is his yard work but they refuse.
How can some people just so easily skip out on any accountability and responsibility?
Comments
Other people skip out on their responsibilities because they know you are going to pick up after them. You just need to stop doing anything for your uncle. If he asks just say “I’m busy, I’m sure one of your children/grandchildren will help,” then leave them to sort themselves out. If you back down at any point they will take advantage again.
People can only take advantage of you if you let them.
Yep. Once I hit mid 40’s, I stopped. I had been abused for free for way too long and said no more. I was then kidnapped multiple times by I think are rouge groups.
Absolutely. And worse yet, sometimes I feel like others get away with or are rewarded for not doing the right thing.
I will say, it speaks to your character, to whomever it may matter (them or yourself).
Doing the right thing is not always the easiest thing to do, but it is something you get to rest easy knowing if it would disturb you to do otherwise.
i feel ya
or ish atleast, much of what i do is based on free will, i see others growing old and not being able to fend for themself the same way anymore, im young and strong. Ive spent the past years with much effort for people around me. Time is coming for me to be better at choosing me and not helping everyone. Time is. Life is life, things change, people grow old and this is something we all have to relate to. Its hard to be the one backing away while you see them in need and i dont have a solution on this exept that well if you are unhappy in it, maby talk to them (the person you are helping) see if you can find a better solution together (maby some city volonteer?) where you can get that freedome you are lacking?
i have no idea how people can just leave….
That’s not “doing the right thing,” that’s “being a doormat”.
Learn to set boundaries.
You teach people how to treat you. Instead of helping thru the actual “doing” of tasks perhaps help by working with him to make other arrangements… meals on wheels, hiring out some of the chores, etc. I hate that his kids have put you in this position but I think your uncle has accountability here as well… he shouldn’t just be expecting you to do these items and not working on other long-term arrangements for himself.