I know alot of dating apps are brutal for men as there are more men than women on the apps and it can be difficult to make a big impact.
A lot of people suggest meeting people through bars, friends, social events.
I just wondered do you find you have more success approaching women or through dating apps?
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Pretty much all of the new women I meet are on dating apps. I live in a very large city. So the apps give me access to women who I would never come across IRL
I’m on Hinge with pretty strict filters. I’d say I’m getting 10-15 likes a week. I’d argue I’d match with maybe 1. Dates are subpar.
When I’m public, and trying to get to know someone I’d say it’s higher success rate in both finding someone and at least having an enjoyable first date.
I have horror stories galore from dating apps. For the most part, going on a date with someone I’ve met IRL tends to be more enjoyable and more successful.
The only people I’ve successfully dated have been within my friend circles. I’m not conventionally attractive so I don’t do well with strangers, be it in a bar or dating app, but people who get to know me develop attraction to me.
Neither. Too ugly. Lol
Dating apps but as a gay man living out in the suburbs with a circle of entirely straight friends, I can count the number of gay guys I’ve met in the wild who are attractive, attracted to me, single, interested in finding a monogamous relationship, and with whom I share common interests on 1 hand.
I’m speaking strictly for, say, 30+.
Dating apps suck. But they also shifted culture to embrace them. Before it, if you wanted to find a partner, you HAD to go through putting yourself out there repeatedly in public, so everyone did and it was normalized. Now, most of the people that want to find a partner are doing it on apps. So the amount of people in any given social setting that are there to mingle and find dates is much, much lower, and it’s becoming much less normal to shoot your shot in these settings because it’s much less likely that the other party is hoping it happens.
You can still meet people in social settings. When it happens it’s the best way. But it’s really hard to make happen.
Younger people are much much more social so I can’t imagine this is the case there, and if it is, it has to be less impactful.
As much as I hate dating sites, that’s how I met my ex-wife and my current partner of 16 years. I was just never going to approach strangers in public and I wasn’t meeting enough people socially to make connections. It happened when I was in college but after that things got pretty dry.
Your interactions with women, or men, irl translate over to online.
So, if you’re having problems with dating irl, it’s gonna be the same thing online. If you’re having no problems with dating irl, it’s gonna be the same thing online.
Real life. Although in my case, I was 12, a 12 year old with a crush on me approached me wanting to be my friend, and then things slowly progressed to an eventual marriage between her and I as best friends. Still together. No exes. No history. Except with each other.
Lol endless dating app threads
I always had better luck in person. Simply being in the same social environment as someone gives you something in common and something to talk about.
Real life. Dating apps are pretty much the dregs these days.
I do better when I am out being social in my communities. I talk to new people. We get to know each other and maybe some attraction is noticed. Things develop from there.
I have done inline dating. Most of them fall flat after a few dates. We aren’t friends, and we aren’t in the same community, doing the things we enjoy. So it’s do you like me enough to date me? I guess you don’t see a future of us together. Move on.
I’ve never met anyone at a bar or such that dated or anything. Never. So dating apps have cured my singleness
Way more in real life
Well in the past three years I’ve been single from an ltr I got a pretty wholesome relationship that lasted about half a year from meeting the girl in real life.
From the apps I’ve got a bunch of weird situationships that were exciting because of being confusing but I can’t say that I really vibe with that more. Sometimes when I’m bored at work I’ll unpause my hinge or whatever but I straight up can’t do it anymore. I can’t read another lame ass profile or I will have an aneurysm.
Most of the dates were fun but I vetted chicks pretty hard. It sometimes took a long time. If you’re going to use it pay for it so you can see who’s one, IMHO.
i’ve never used a dating app in my life and have had no issues with dating
If it weren’t for bad luck l’d have none at all. And that’s not even a commentary on my dating life, just life in general.
No one wver swipes right on me
Dating apps by far, I usually get a date (or multiple) secured in a week after creating my profile.
Most I’ve gotten IRL is a girl coming up to me at a bar or sitting next to me. The rest of the interactions are from girls who aren’t on the same league and are likely drunk confident.
I wouldn’t bother with dating apps today unless you are looking for hookups or short term relationships.
Neither, although I had more luck of all things meeting girls on video games (even if it didn’t work out obviously) than both methods combined
I only used dating app to test. Never went through with it. Apparently, I do well on it getting lots of likes.
All my past interactions were real life interactions.
Never met a single woman thru apps… looked a few times at apps and it reminded me of digging thru produce bins at the grocery store, especially when you see it only contains the passed over stuff others left behind.
Met my wife while I was out hiking. Bars suck.. mainly since you just find ‘bar people’ there. I prefer meeting people out doing the things I enjoy doing so we have common ground.
Dating apps because most women in my state get married in their early twenties, so everyone around me irl are dating, engaged or married, and the single ones are mostly emotionally unavailable or just want something casual
When I was dating, both dating apps and real life worked.
The problem I found with real life interactions was (1) it can be exhausting (2) you don’t know if she’s single or if she has kids or even if she’s looking to date. You can spend time vibing with someone only to learn they are not single. Or have kids. Or not straight etc etc.
Just easier to utilize the apps cause at least you are interacting with people who are looking to date and you can get the deal breaker questions out of the way without leaving your home.
Also, real life interactions is not immune to being ghosted. In fact, I would argue it hurts worse.
Each time I asked girls out face to face they agreed. I spent 6-8 months on some dating apps and didn’t even talk to somebody there longer than one day, let alone had a date.
Not even close….REAL LIFE.
Dating apps are brutal. More luck going to a bar and putting on the old wedding ring.
I cannot imagine any guy having more luck on apps than real life
Depends on what you mean by luck.
Long term relationships have all been through real life.
Hook up wise it’s like 40ish from apps 30ish from real life.
And you have to account for online dating and dating apps being considered weird for the first 26 or so years of my life
I’ve never had a dating app in my life. I also haven’t been single in 13 years and while dating apps weren’t only seen as for anti-social basement dwellers anymore they still hadn’t became completely mainstream. My sister is married to a guy she met on a dating app though.
I get more dates purely from dating apps, but the bulk of actual dates and interactions that convert to sex or something like a relationship have been from non-dating app interactions. You go on a date and you realize you’re not attracted to the other person or vice versa, or there’s another deal-breaker not disclosed in their profile.
I struggling with rejection in real life, but finding more matches and dates via apps.
Just here to say reading these responses does give me some confidence to get myself out there once my confidence is up. Hopefully it will do the same for others who may feel discouraged
I’ve had much more luck meeting people in real life. Ironically my current partner is someone I met on an app.
Real life interactions, when I cared to make the first move.
Real life interactions.
Women seem to approach me, flirt with me and hit on me more IRL than they ever did on the apps
Dating apps are terrible for me. I’ve had times in my life where I was having incredible success with women, and then I’d figure I’d give apps a try and I could barely get a match.
Real life interaction i get more. On apps I get matched maybe 3 or 4 times a week. Apps never work but in real life people can hear my tonee of voice and realize things like what I may say on an app comes across bad because of no voice inflection. Then they realize oh he is being sarcastic or funny in real life. That’s why I got to were I only use apps for hookups.
relative rate is higher IRL, absolute # is higher on the apps
I’ve been using Walmart lately, every once and a while I’ll see a baddie, got a couple numbers but didn’t amount to anything.
I might try the malls again.
When I was single I only had one successful match from a dating app and by successful I just mean I later met her. Matched with a few women but they either never responded or were not interested in meeting up.
Many women go on dating apps either as an ego boost or just to kill time and see who they match with.
It’s almost impossible to approach women in real life. Unless you have a good network of friends, dating apps are the only option.
Real Life. 3D me > 2D me. You have to be a great copywriter and take pics from the right angles and lighting and know which pics to pick and your competition is one swipe away, etc.
I’ve never tried dating apps. Had no problems IRL
Apps. I’m too passive and awkward on initial interactions in persons. The few times I’ve been approached in real life, I wasn’t attracted to her or our personalities didn’t match
For casual encounters, dating apps.
For relationships, real life.
100% real life interactions.
Recently I haven’t even had to approach anyone, they’ve approached me.
Real life
Real life. Women online don’t like short guys but in person they realize not evert guy can be 6’6 and 5’7 isn’t that bad.
Healthy combiantion of both.
When I lived in the Seattle area I had so many Match conversations going I had to keep a spreadsheet. Like others have said the dating apps have provided access that I wouldn’t normally have.
Then one day I realized ALL of the relationships I had from online apps never lasted longer than nine months.
The two long relationships (measured in years) I have been in were with women I met in night school. The first relationship resulted in marriage and the second we lived together twice, but no wedding bells.
Real life. Not through cold-approaching women at bars or in public, but through friends of friends, at house parties and hangouts. You chat em up, just vibing at the party, then you tell them you think they’re pretty and you’d like to take them out sometime, and there you go.
With my fiancé for 8 years but my ratio of dating girl was like 5 to 1 IRL. I found out that dating app were a waste of time and didn’t feel natural. I do look good tho, 8/10.. so this must be factored in.
Met my fiance in the supermarket shopping vegetables 🤭.
Apps were better for me. I assume most women want to be left alone out in the wild.
Start by messaging them as people.
Every woman I’ve known who uses Tinder has said 80% of matches almost immediately talk about fucking and nothing else. Its a major turn off for them.
Apps for sure. They get to see the flashy fun part upfront before finding out I’m kinda boring in real life
Real life. Swiped on hundreds of profiles and got like 2 dates one was just trying to sell me on an MLM scheme. I decided to watch a few pickup artists on YouTube; thought “that looks easy” and tried it at a church event. That advice got me my first two dates with her and now we are getting married later this year.
Neither.
Way more IRL, which suck because I used to use the apps exclusively and that made me think I was just catastrophically ugly
Back when I was dating it was definitely the dating apps. Blew my mind after my divorce that it was so easy to find people who wanted to go on a date with me and who I already knew found me at least attractive enough. That’s almost all of the hard part of dating!
About the same, but online my dates tend to be a little on the weird side so i prefer in person
Go to Target. Its basically a real life dating app