I have a colleague. Let’s call her Carol. She’s a harmless older lady who just keeps talking and talking. Ithought I was bad but if an escape route opens for me to stop talking, I’ll take it. My manager asked me to make myself comfortable in his office and she still won’t stop talking
When I’m in my car alone, I tell her in numerous ways to just shut up . It cheers me up bless her
Edit-Since we’re naming, she is Gwyn. What’s yours called
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“Let’s call her Carol”
Why call her Carol? Is that not her name? Why not use her real name, no-ones going to know, your boss isn’t frantically scanning reddit for RED HOT intelligence.
Just get a pair of noise cancelling headphones and look her square in the eyes while you put them on and hit play on your favourite podcast.
I see you’ve met Graham then?
Carol is lonely and/or is an unmedicated ADHDer
Yeah I think some people just need to chat.
I have one colleague who just rabbits on all day but then she is single and lives alone whereas I go home to my family. I think for her work is the event of the day whereas for me it’s my rest time between seeing the kids.
I just stick a headphone in when I don’t want to listen to it.
“Sorry to stop you” [look up] “Do you hear the angels wailing too?”
That ought to give you breathing room.
My mom is unable to drive anymore, so she’s basically stuck at home with my dad who does nothing more than drink, read and yell at the news. They don’t have conversations.
My older sister can somewhat tolerate her (she goes over once a week to babysit my nephew) however not if she’s trying to do something else.
Part of the reason mom and I get along so well is cause I’m perfectly ok with letting her yammer on. I don’t find it particularly distracting, and I always pay half-attention so I can throw in a relevant comment now and then, lol.
Used to. In my previous and current jobs. I don’t mind it cause I’m not much of a talker myself but now I don’t and it’s both nice to get on with work but also kind of boring with nobody to talk to.
Try the British exit. Anyway, I will let you get on. Better crack on with this email. Catch you later. Repeat as needed with a smile and a step away.
I used to have a colleague who would stroll into our office, sigh, and say “I can’t be bothered today”*, then proceed to moan and complain for a good half an hour until she’d dragged everyone else down and prevented us from getting our work done…then she’d bugger off back to her department.
Never really worked out how to ask her to go away, so good luck!
ETA- this happened almost every day.
*(more like “Icantbebovveredtoday”)
I fear I may be this colleague haha
Couple people like this in my office. I give it the I’m sure you have work to get back to, and turn away.
“if an escape route opens for me to stop talking, I’ll take it”
My neighbour cycled away from me at pace today, mid-sentence (his sentence), after we’d been sauntering back from town having a little chit chat.
Are you my neighbour?
Yup, I’ve had a Tracy.
Yes.
I feel bad, but I really don’t want to know about your friend’s dog’s niece’s primary swimming tournament when we’re in north Scotland and they’re in east England. I can barely cope with my colleagues discussing their immediate family as it is.
Yes I’m assuming it’s an age thing. Mine is called Fiona, she’s lovely but she makes every meeting last for 3 months. I’m training her next week and they’ve only given me an hour, I dare say it will take at least 45 mins longer
I have a few like that.
One with a really whiny voice who always wears stilettos and stomps down the corridor.
Another with a booming West Yorkshire accent as if he’s a village idiot from a Wallace and Gromit film.
And another who uses the longest sentences imaginable and interrupts themselves to change direction multiple times in a story.
That colleague is me but luckily sitting having a chat is very important in my job so it works well and nobody has to put up with my nonsense for too long.
Its honestly not even intentional a lot of that time. I remember being asked when I was a kid if I ever get bored of the sound of my own voice and I can honestly say I do. Sometimes I just want others to say smth so I’ll actually be quiet bc even im so sick of hearing myself talk. Glad to have a lot of people in my life who genuinely love my ramblings
Women have 30,000 words to say each day
Men only 10,000 according to Men are from Mars Women from Venus.
Harmless but not great for you and anyone else. Your boss should diplomatically take her aside and ask her if she realises she talks as much as she does, explain that her chatting is distracting for others and request that she keeps it to a reasonable level.
I’m always curious to know if people like that know they’re talking too much or over talking but they’re so desperate for a conversation they just simply ignore the obvious discomfort of the other person.
Someone once told me stupid people talk too much. Its true.
does she not run out of things to talk about?
There’s a guy here at work who is legendarily bad at waffling on in phone calls. So much so that we have standard alerts for people caught by him.
We’ll send out a group alert saying “I’ve been <surname>’d”
and whatever you’re doing, you’ll call them immediately so they can legitimately say they have to go, they’ve got an incoming call.
Funnily enough I had a colleague named Carol who wouldn’t shut the fuck up. She was incredibly boring and every time she spoke to me, I’d scream internally.
Yep. Thankfully she works in another office but if you happen to pick up the phone to her then there’s 10 minutes of your day gone. Even if you just need to transfer the call to somebody else in the office because that’s who she is after, she’ll still talk your ear off before you get chance to transfer her.
Me.
I blame ADHD and nervous anxiety.
I also work with a Carol. Who is also an older lady. Who also cannot shut the fuck up. Are you me?
Does anyone ever do the very un-British thing of actually saying “Sorry, I really need you to stop talking to me”?
Yes. Unfortunately, I have to work with him, as we’re the only 2 for our specific department,
He’ll just yammer on and on about nonsensical shit (Portugal, sorry Portuguese folk, Benfica, some random photo he took 5 years ago) and can somehow retell the same story 6 times in one day.
If knocking out your colleague wasn’t a sackable offence, myself and some colleagues from another department who also don’t like him, would’ve decked this guy already.
We had one who pretended to have Tourettes but in reality was just an attention seeking twat.
Apparently they were called skippy, but we all called them slinky (useless but put a smile on your face when you push them down the stairs)
I have a colleague who’s great to be around during the lunch breaks and after work.
But during he has the habit of mentioning everything he’s worked on. Especially, when presenting “so as you can see this is the front page of the web site (yeah I built that part)…” he would insert that comment anywhere he can.
Yes! I used to like him until a site relocation now he sits opposite me, I specifically asked not to sit near him as I find him disruptive, sadly I can’t stand the fella anymore. It’s non stop all day. When he’s not chewing someone’s ear off he talks to himself. He’s a bit like an excitable Labrador, wants to stick his nose in everything and know what everyone’s doing. The worst part is he knowingly has a reputation for not stfu and he just leans into it more. He’s a single guy so it’s probably loneliness so I feel for him to a certain extent but I wish he’d stop trying so hard to be everyone’s mate and chill.
I used to work with someone who I’d been warned was like that but had never experienced it myself.
One evening, as I’m winding up and nearly finished for the day, a few minutes to kill before I pack up and leave, I asked… “up to anything nice tonight, Pete?”
…
15 minutes later I’m trying to get a word in to say I really need to go, I’ve got a train to catch…
There was a Scottish lady where I worked a while back who could not stop talking.
Someone who sat on a bank of desks between us had a little sock puppet thing and when she started would hold it over the edge of the desk and make it talk along with her to try and make us laugh.
I do. He’s also ‘older’ and going through a divorce and is trying to reconnect with other people and make friends.
I feel sorry for him, but he is actually stopping people getting their work done, and not doing his own either! So as his manager l have had to step in.
Yep. One guy who just won’t stop chatting, singing or dancing about at his workbench. As we work with various types of knives it can get a bit distracting.
Yep, have a lad in my work who’s the same. It’s actually impressive how he doesn’t shut up, you don’t even realise he’s changed the subject most of the time.
I once worked with someone who could not stop talking.
We both owned the same model motorbike. Mine needed new tyres.
I mistakenly asked him what tyres he recommends for it.
An hour later I bought his motorbike, partly just to shut him up.
His was in much better condition so mine became a donor for the new one.
We have Geordie Dave. Not only does he talk AT you without pausing for breath, he also repeats the same story several times. We’ve nicknamed him DaveJa Vu.
I had a colleague that would narrate what they were doing. Well, more explain what they are doing. Like they were training someone…
“Ok, just going to send this email. Better check it. *reads full email… ok i think that’s good, send. OK so next its this one”
Ed. He can’t have silence, ever. And I’m all about silence, constantly working things out in my head, and here I am having a man that continuously asks moronic questions not about work, or sings merrily in the corner. Some would call it sweet, but I call it obnoxiously annoying when he knows I don’t like it and I need quiet to think when I’m constantly doing several tasks at once and need to concentrate. I don’t mind actual chat about work or maybe personal life stuff, but when it’s utter nonsense, it just pisses me off.
Yes and they do my head in…
So what you do is, you interrupt with “Can I just stop you there…?” and when they pause expectantly, you walk off.
yes .. got a colleague who will just randomly come up to me and complain they have to work whilst im trying to work. there was a time when we got paid, they came to me and said “we got paid.” so i was like “yeah i got the email.” they responded “no it’s in the bank.” like okay great .. it doesn’t matter as im working.
I have a colleague in my office. She doesn’t stop moaning/talking about how much she doesn’t like her mother in law lol. Wish I get, but love, just stfu 😂
Yes, I don’t think that man has ever had a single thought that he didn’t feel the need to vocalise. The few moments where he’s not talking he’s usually banging on his desk instead.
I hate him.
Me. Well, it used to be me. A kindly colleague told me privately to rein it in a bit so others could talk so I am much more conscious of it now. I apologise on behalf of all chatterboxes 🙏
I used to sit near a lady who would talk & talk & talk, & it would really annoy me, & I’d rant after work about her. Then one day, & I don’t know why, I thought “she’s nice & she just wants to chat. What’s the problem really?” So I just decided to enjoy talking with her, & it was nice from then on.
Yep. Unfortunately they are my manager. From the moment I walk in, in the morning it’s verbal diahorrhea. Anything passing through their head as a thought comes out of their mouth. They are very kind and a nice person. But it’s exhausting. A lot of it is ill informed opinions which I don’t really like. Or experiences from 20 years ago as they & their family don’t ever do anything interesting or go anywhere. No holidays, days out, meals out, no life experiences. I find I tune out which they then get annoyed about as they’ve asked me to do something! I’m super sensitive to lots of different noises & it’s a noisy environment. Unfortunately their daughter works with us sometimes & is the same. Talking crap about nothing for ages. You can’t have intelligent debates or conversations cos they don’t have the experience/knowledge!
Yes. Very pleasant and very good at her job, but so relentless with the chat that it’s just draining. No filter. Derails every meeting.
And so fucking loud.
Had one, but he retired a while back. Lovely bloke, although he didn’t get on with a lot of people, but the handful of people he got on well with he’d always make an effort to help out wherever he could. I was always happy to have a chat with him.
He helped me get countless jobs over the finish line, but it always came at a cost, you shouldn’t expect to be getting to your next job quickly or getting home on time, since he simply did not stop talking, and regardless of the situation I never had the heard to butt in and tell him to shut up so I can move on to my next job or go home. I miss having him about, although the job has evolved into something a fair bit more hectic than it used to be, so his conversational habits would probably result in extra stress that I don’t want to deal with.
Gwyn? Interesting, traditionally Gwyn is a Cymric (Welsh) male name, Gwen the female equivalent.
I have several.
Nice, but as thick as mince.
I can tell where the story is going before they commence telling it.
I wear headphones in the office and if it gets too much I’ll tell them I can’t concentrate cause my brain is already also having a conversation with me too.
Edit: if they don’t stop, I’m going to formalise it as a private meeting to formally request they stop talking to me so much because it’s affecting my work. – I’ve never had to get to this point for this reason, but I have had to have a formal meeting for something else as it was getting really bad. I was afraid to log in waiting to see their name at the top of the Teams chat list.
I’ve had a few of these colleagues. As someone who enjoys silence, it was really annoying, and I was too polite/too much of a walkover to ever tell them to shut up.
I once asked and got a transfer to a different department because I was in danger of throttling the chatty colleague or smashing my own head off a wall just to make it stop. It’s what I imagine auditory hallucinations to be like, non stop voice in my head, I want it to go away but it just doesn’t.
Lots of them don’t listen but shout rather than talk , incissantly tell you about their last call , shout across to people across the floor rather than message ..love their own voices no care for others actually trying to work and do their job without your call being drowned out by their shouting and need to tell everyone about their day and fantasy football results .I have one co worker who can be heard , not joking , passed two sets of fire doors ..it’s a call center so noone cares how horrible it is for you ..gdpr IE customers complain saying they hear other details shut down ..it’s a call center ..what the fuck have I done to deserve this ..I don’t care about what calls they have had , I have my own , I don’t want their dribble when on a break ..my break is a break not to listen to their story of calls or imaginary life ..it’s hell..they don’t care , it’s all about them ..the me me me people
I don’t mind people jabbering away at work, my job involves making a lot of pretty horrific calls It’s nice to recharge by having a chat with someone I actually want to talk to, but what I can’t stand is the conversation being stale/boring.
I think I’m probably that colleague…lol! Fortunately I am Self employed and work from home but I know I do talk A LOT! Don’t ask me why except my mother is similar. In fact she is worse and we are probably a nightmare together.
It’s not loneliness at all. I have a good social life and I certainly don’t have ADHD. I just find myself talking a lot. As I’ve got older I have really, really tried to wind it in. And it can be hard. I’m a good listener (which sounds at odds with what I’ve just said whereas my mother isn’t) and I do consciously say to myself “their story and opinion is every bit as important to tell as yours is!”
Yeah, unfortunately our office talker is also our office bullshitter.
Constantly talking, always forcing themselves into conversations (even if they’re on the other side of the office), always bringing up their own experiences that when added together mean this middle-aged woman has travelled the world but never been on holiday, watched every TV show/film in existence, had 40 jobs despite working for the same company since she was 20, and if you can think of a celebrity; she’s vaguely related to them.
Yes. I struggle as I’m easily distracted and also like to talk. I make an effort to talk to people, but then I put my huge headphones on. I’ve told people it’s because of me, but it’s just as much them.
Yeah, there’s a few, actually. I like them, but they don’t half waffle absolute nonsense.
Adam. Oh the boring self importance of Adam. Also lynn. Wants to talk about all her troubles and problems only so she doesn’t have to do any work. I’ve left this place now and got a new job. The rules at the new job is that if you’re on your break no one talks to you. That is your time. Bliss. I didn’t know that was a thing. I hope it spreads.
Yes. She’s got ADHD and Autism (same as me but I know when to read a room). I always regret saying goodbye at the end of the day because what is a less than 30 second exchange with the rest of my colleagues turns into a 10-15 minute long conversation. Bless her though, she just loves chatting!
I had a Carol, she was actually Carol at my last job. Lovely lady, mid-50’s, liked to natter about her grandkids mostly especially when my son came to visit with his grandma! Just, she’d been there YEARS and knew everything meanwhile I was new starting and I could never learn anything with her.
I work in an aerospace plant. Ear defenders are a godsend when people won’t shut up. Sometimes it takes a while for the penny to drop.
How do you tell her to shut up if you’re in your car alone? Is Gwyn your split personality?
I had an older colleague that would stand in a certain way whenever she was about to go off on a long talk.
I got to the point where i would tell her i was busy and didn’t have the time before she even opened her mouth, just based on the way she was stood.
In my last job there was one who seemed to spend all day reading through random email newsletters and telling everyone around her about them in enormous detail. She actually wasn’t harmless. She called deep harm
I’ve got 2. Let’s call them Carol and Dave. If you’re ever stuck in an office with both of them- good luck.
If someone doesn’t have a Gwyn in their workplace, then they are the Gwyn of their workplace.
Unfortunately it’s me
Years ago, Jon was his name. He would literally stop people at their desk and talk at them for anywhere upto 40/45 minutes.
Some of us had a code for it, we called it things like a ‘hostage situation’, ‘Terry Waite needing help’, and got someone to call the victim’s landlines or mobile to help them out.
At the same time, it was quite amusing when he used to collar new starters, who were too polite to make excuses, and watched them squirm. We’d fill them in afterwards.
He also microwaved fish and ate it out the office. HR had to tell him to stop.
Yes two. We work from home and if you end up in a call with them (we often have calls to discuss work) you will be there for hours
I actively avoid joining calls with them that are an hour before lunch/end of day because every time you try to leave they mange to turn a goodbye into another conversation
Great way to waste a day if I’m not too busy though