I have made 2 strong platonic friendships with men this year, and it’s making me realise that by my mid twenties my significant childhood platonic male friendships had completely all dwindled. Is this common? I still have my childhood female friendships. The men just disappeared. It’s kind of a shame! I feel like our gender divided us for no good reason.
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I still have the same friendships for the most part from childhood. My newest friendship is about 7 years old and he is male tho
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No. My husband was my best friend betore we started dating. I have a husband ,kids , 2 animals and a whole house to take care of. I don’t have time for friendships with other men. My spare time is spent with my husband and our kids.
Yep, including some that are over 20 years old
No. I don’t believe in having male friends
Not really tbh. Or at least – not different than my female childhood friends.
Friendships change, everyone being on their own path, life and priorities changing….
I lost my closest female friend due to parting ways.
At the same time, I got closer again to a male friend from school, and I’m very very close to a male friend I met at work around….dunno… 8 years ago or so? He’s my best friend, and I’m lucky to have him.
In all of my life, I always had male and female friends, and I prefer it that way.
They never crossed boundaries or fuck zoned me.
(I’m bi btw and don’t get the fuss. Friends are friends and that means platonic to me. Their gender doesn’t matter. I don’t sleep with my friends and don’t make moves on them, and they don’t make moves on me)
Sure. Most of my group chat is male. I think one of them had a crush on me before I started dating my now-husband, but he’s been perfectly respectful ever since.
yes, very much so. most of my friends are also lgbtq+ so i feel like we have less of the heteronormative issues around male/female friendships though. i’ve had straight male friends in the past.
Yes. Completely platonic – they are happily married and their wives became my friends too. Those who are single are also platonic friends of mine, i believe in friendship regardless of gender.
Not one ,my only male friend I proudly had as he never disrespected me or anything just asked if he could send a dick pic last week. What the entire fuck. We don’t even have any type of inappropriate convos then this . All men who somehow are labeled friend with me end up trying to make a move on me .
I have had at least one good male platonic friend for most of my life. I had several friends in high school that I was close with, same in college, and for maybe the first 5 years out of college. I even had a “bridesman” in my wedding. I don’t currently have one because of distance and the fact that I barely have time for any friends at all, but I am still reasonably good friends with the ones from college.
My best friend of 14 years is a man. There’s no romantic or sexual history, we’ve never so much as held hands.
I don’t tend to seek out male friends simply because I prefer the company of women, but occasionally they happen.
Not really. I’m friendly with some but not friends like I am with other women. It wasn’t a choice just ended up that way.
All my close male friends ghosted me when I had cancer or ghosted when I wouldn’t date them. It hurt so bad I don’t make new male friends anymore. I’m 34.
Yeah actually I have had a few. Genuinely great friendships while they lasted
Yes. I text a few male friends regularly, mostly about shared interests. They’re all married, as am I.
My best friend is a man. We briefly dated in high school. And I mean BRIEFLY. We tried to have sex… it was so awkward and weird and we didn’t really enjoy it but really vibed otherwise. He’s been my constant ever since. He keeps me grounded and calls me on my shit. I’m great friends with his wife, too.
I don’t think this is the norm. But yes, I do think it is possible.
Yes I have quite a few, usually ex college friends or ex coworkers. Totally platonic, I make sure their wives are ok with it, and often their wives become my friend too. Sometimes the wives message me to say, can you hang out with XYZ, he’s been moping at home and needs a reason to get out.
I have one male friend I’ve known since I was 8 or something (so friends for 32 years ish) we’re going camping together next week, just him and I. Another friend I’ve known since highschool I’m still in touch with. I also have a group of guy friends from a security job I did some 15+ years ago. We try to hang out but they’re a bit younger than I am and getting into the child rearing thing. I have noticed that 2 of their wives don’t really like us hanging out which sucks.
I honestly get along better with guys in general. I’m not into super girly things or female coded past times, so tend to make more male friends than female ones.
My first friend in preschool was male. In grammar school everyone used to tease us about getting married because we were always together, but even from a young age we both knew it wasn’t like that and there has never been any tension about it. One set of our parents would pick up and care for the other child if their parents couldn’t. His grandparents were my grandparents on Grandparents Day because mine were ill or deceased. We’ve always stayed close over the years, he’s still my oldest best friend. We are always each other’s first phone call when something big happens. His wife is incredible, I sobbed like an absolute baby at their wedding, and I’m so lucky to have them both still in my life.
Honestly just an absolutely priceless relationship. I’m tearing up just writing this.
I thought I did. Then I got divorced. I should know better, but I was surprised just how quickly my pain became an opportunity to them. I believe men and women can be platonic friends, but if my divorce taught me anything it was that I need to surround myself with better people 🤷🏻♀️
Yes I have many. And we’ve never fucked. Never Kissed. Never been weird.
I’m still very close with three of my guy friends from college. All three of them are wonderful people. They’re the type of friends who would pick up the phone if you called in the middle of the night. They’ve always shown up for me if I needed them, and I’ve done the same for them. Hell, they’ve even been sympathetic and willing to listen to me griping about things like ovarian cysts and period pain.
Yes many, but I work in a male-dominated field so regularly meet and socialize with men. I struggle to form female friendships a lot more, I feel more “on” and fake with women, and more relaxed and myself around men.
I’m a staunch feminist and I want to change this about myself fwiw. I also VASTLY prefer working relationships with women, and generally my work goes much smoother with women collaborators over men.
But when it comes to grabbing a beer after work, I just get nervous around women, idk why!
Yes
I have 4, that I would consider close, confidant-like, consistent friendships. The oldest I’ve known since I was 19. Met another when I was ~25, and the last two I’ve known for the last 4-5 years. I’m 35 now.
Yes, many.
I have one who isn’t related to me or queer. He is very community minded and has lots of female friendships and a long term romantic relationship. I like a few of my friends’ husbands, but wouldn’t call them close friendships.
It’s kind of funny bc I’ve been so used to not seeking out friendships with men that this one kind of snuck up on me. I didn’t realize that he viewed our friendship as that close and meaningful until he said something about valuing it offhand that made me start putting in more consistent effort.
Yes, one of my very close friends is male and it has always been completely platonic between us. We met in our early twenties, so he is not a childhood friend, but I do feel like we’ve grown up together now for almost two decades. I’ve lost touch with most of my childhood friends, male and female, just because of moving often, and time
Unfortunately, no. I wanted too, but each guy I tried to become friends with obviously held ulterior motives for a relationship and I just couldn’t do it anymore. I think it can be done though and I will keep trying.
I like to befriend people of all walks of life, but men befriend me to make a move on me. It’s frustrating, because I invest in the friendship only to basically have male friends disappear once they realize I won’t fuck them.
Yeah. My two best friends are men, and about half my friends in general are men.
I have two close platonic male friends, and another one who used to be really close when we were both single but pulled back a bit since I’ve been partnered, but that might also be because we used to live a 5 minute walk from each other and don’t any longer. I have other male friends as well, but they aren’t as close it’s more just circumstantial hangouts or in larger groups. I also had a lot of really close guy friends in my 20s but many of them have moved out of province or out of country. Hard to keep up with them a bit.
With my brother-in-law and male cousins yes. But I have never ever had fulfilling platonic male friendships. They always developed feelings and made things weird at a certain point.
I did but we lost contact after going to different universities then living in different countries. He was the most charming guys (about personality not physical attraction) I’ve ever met but we never had any romantic feelings about each other even though some of our friends pushed it. It’s great to have a male best friend who you knew you could ask for honest opinions without being judged.
Yes. 2 are younger than me and feel like little brothers. One is my soul brother and means so much to me 💕 he’s also really good friends with my husband
Yep, most of my friends are men. They’re married and I’m friends with their wives too. My husband loves the boys. We’re all awkward misfits in society, so no one would give us a second look. Work trauma brought us together, and we always looked at each other as people I could work with forever, if given the opportunity. We’ve been friends for almost 2 decades now.
Also, I’ve grown in a boys only home, with brothers and cousins, all boys. Never had a sister. So I sort of friend-zone a boy/man too easily. They’re all brothers I want to throw a sack at when they annoy me.
Yes. I have a few that have lasted from childhood and some from work. It takes maturity from everyone involved—you, the male friend, your partner, and their partner to make it possible, though. If you’ve got suspicious or immature people in the periphery, it’s not going to work. You have to all be able to be friends.
No and being married and having kids have never stopped a man from loving another woman btw so whatever people want to see, they will see…
Yep. I’ve had fantastic male friends for most of my life, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.
Yes but they are all gay lol
I have a few, maybe 2-3, although I’m pretty picky befriending (straight) men anyways and won’t hesitate to cut them out if they’re weird or creepy. I have more queer male friends and probably about 2 straight ones.
One of them did ask me to text a girl that ghosted him and I told him bluntly how wrong it was to do that and even ask me that. He called me later that evening and apologized and realized how stupid he was acting and for putting me in that position. He’s able to hold himself accountable thankfully. Funny enough we had met on hinge but quickly realized we’re better off as besties and we argue like siblings sometimes
Nope not one. I never have. I’m friendly with lots of men in my life on a platonic level but never had a close friendship with one.
Yep some of my best friends are men! Men are capable of platonic friendship and seeing women as human beings.
Yes, my oldest, closest friendships are with men, and have always been completely platonic.
Yes its a perk of being unattractive. I’m definitely not worried they want to hit on me nor would they ever want to. I’m friends with 2 straight guys and 2 who are gay. They’re not close friends the way my girls are but we see each other maybe once or twice a year and wish for birthdays etc.
I have a 2-3 at this point. I lost like 7-10 supposedly platonic male friendships in a whole year once because it turns out none of them were friends with me other than for the possibility of more OR their wife/girlfriend disliked them being in any form of communication with me at all (apparently playing video games with a friend from college online is a real tougie).
I think it’s stupid, men and women should be able to be friends. That being said, a lot of men confuse kindness and friendship from women as interest and they don’t know how to reciprocate without dating. And, there’s a lot of women that aren’t okay with their male S/O’s being friends with women.
I have several strong platonic male friendships. They tend to be with men who are happily married, and while I am not friends with all of their wives, I am at least friendly with them. I have no platonic male friends where I am on bad terms with their wives. One of my closest friends had an unreasonably suspicious wife, and he drifted away from all of his female friends. Some of my platonic male friends are long time friends from school, and some are people I met because I worked with them.
Yes. One of them I used to date (we didn’t work out as a couple, but we’re still good friends and talk online every day), and I’ve known him for close to 19 years. And I have 2 other casual irl male friends who are fellow regulars at a park near my house, we hang and chat sometimes.
Yes, my coworkers and classmates from grad school have mostly been men and they are wonderful people and help give me perspective. All are married now and they go through just as many struggles as I do.
I thought I did. Growing up, most of my best friends were male. As I became serious with my now husband, my male friends all disappeared. As an adult now, I thought my husband’s best friend was also a good platonic friend until the beginning of the year he told his wife he was in love with me. It ruined the friendship I had with her.
I definitely don’t think it’s impossible to have excellent platonic friendships with men, but I just don’t want any drama that could ensue.
Yeah because I went to engineering school. 😅
No. Because the few times I’ve tried they still check me out or straight up wants to f me. Men invented the “friendzone” because as a group they’re almost always only in it to f us, and don’t value us as friends or company, we’re just sexual game to them. Yes, there may be exceptions but I’m skeptical.
Edit: Unless they’re gay, then yes, I have one. But that’s because he wouldn’t try to f me. Lol!
Yes I do.
I do have a great platonic male friend but he has a sexual and romantic preference for men(he’s bi but that’s his preference). The straight ones backed off considerably after I got together with my fiancé, and even more so when they got girlfriends, so my guess is there was something shady there I didn’t notice before.
Yeah but none with hetro men. All my male friends are gay men. And they have been amazing friendships.
Thought mine would also be interesting input: I have many male friends, all of whom I’ve had a “romantic” beginning with.
Granted, most of this romance was during college, so I don’t know how serious it must be taken.
They all have happy relationships now
Only with gays. I have one straight male friendship that is decently platonic although he has said sexually forward things about me. I do also have another straight male friendship that is fully platonic for me, but he has expressed romantic and sexual feelings towards me multiple times throughout the years. We live on different sides of the country though so it’s easy for me to tell him to chill. But it’s so hard to cultivate close platonic friendships with straight men at this stage of life.
Yes, I have two since I was a wee baby, and a couple of exes that turned friends.
Yep although him and his wife are both my best friends
I have four guys who I consider friends, and a few other acquaintances that I know through my partner. For the four guys I think it only works because there’s never been anything romantic or sexual between us, and they’ve never tried anything of that nature on me.
No, anyone I’ve ever thought was a friend has tried it on pushed boundaries (in the end it took some of them years) and got angry and went ghost when I didn’t want to shag them. I don’t believe it can be so, call me cynical.