So, I’ve been on two dates with a man so far. I haven’t had sex in longer-than-usual amount of time for me, so I wouldn’t mind having sex in the near future with him, but I also am only looking for a serious committed relationship. I know a lot of women have a certain time frame or amount of dates that they will turn down sex until.
In your experiences, has it made a difference in the resulting relationship? What do you guys think is an appropriate amount of time to wait?
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For me, I always had the rule that I wouldn’t sleep with a man until we were in a relationship. Not just after a few dates. Did it help? No. I still ended up with some right twats. Ended up with a nice husband eventually though!
I don’t think it matters what you do.
No, I don’t think it makes much difference. If a man dips because you sleep with him “too soon,” he either is a misogynist, was looking for a reason to dip, or both. I know of situations where people waited a couple months to have sex and the man ghosted/broke it off immediately after and people who slept together quickly and ended up in a long-term relationship, and all possible combinations of these.
It depends. I’m never waiting super long again. I did that and found out he had really erectile dysfunction bc of his lifestyle ….😭
First or second date. If they’re the kind of person that devalues me for doing that then they’re not for me
My bf and I had sex on our second date. I jumped him because like you, it had been awhile and he looked yummy. Things are going great two years later. Best person I’ve ever dated. He’s great in bed btw. His generosity and care extends to all aspects of life. It’s about the person, not about the timing.
If you’re someone who gets attached easily, I would hold off until you think he’s serious about you. But the thing, wanting to sleep with him should come from your own desire to do so, not because you need it to lead to a relationship. Imo with the right guy, it literally doesn’t matter if you wait or not.
No set amount of time. My personal rule is I am okay with having sex while we continue to get to know one another, but I am not okay with having sex while we continue to get to know anyone else. Sometimes that conversation happens sooner and sometimes it takes longer, but I don’t have sex until that conversation is had.
Never consciously, no.
I don’t think there are any benefits to “gaming” the system. Toxic men know how to manipulate you. 🤷🏻♀️
My best friend waited over a year to have sex with her first boyfriend, and he turned out to be an absolute prick before they even made it to the bedroom. I had sex relatively quickly with my now-partner — and I’m marrying him later this year.
For fuck’s sake, call it sex. It’s not “intimacy” when it’s with someone you’ve been out with a handful of times. I don’t understand how I woke up in the 60s with everybody using these stupid cutesy and usually situationally inaccurate euphemisms for sex.
No set time. Depends on if I want to or not.
I just follow what feels right. I’ve jumped straight to sex before and I’ve held off before and communicated where I was at, why I wanted to move slow etc. Its up to you. Whatever you want and whatever makes you feel comfortable is ideal. As long as the other party feels the same/respects your feelings.
I only made my husband wait 2 weeks but that was enough time to make him question his mojo and think more seriously about me because I didn’t sleep with him on the first date like many of his previous dates have. Personally I don’t want to believe it makes a difference because I love sex and I feel like 2 weeks wasn’t long at all, but I’ve heard many crusty men say they think less of a girl who “gives it up easy” as if it’s something they take from us, something that we women don’t also enjoy. Those kinds of guys aren’t worth dating at all.
Yes. It saves me from wasted time and emotion as a lot of fuck boys just immediately bow out the minute that they find out that you’re not gonna put out. I think it’s very helpful.
I’m kinda sick of the dudes just looking to get their dicks wet by lying and pretending they want a relationship. Like sometimes I just wanna bang too, just be honest and present yourself truthfully. So if someone is saying they want to date to potentially be serious, I wait a few dates. It’s not a hard and fast rule, but it weeds out the liars I find.
While there’s a supposed “rule” that third date = sex, the only real rule is only have sex if you want it.
Some guys will think you’re not serious if you don’t wait a month, two months, whatever. Don’t play that guessing game.