My MIL lives with us. I am the cooker of the house. So basically I cook breakfast for me and my husband before he leaves for work. I usually don’t eat lunch and just snacking. My MIL she always gets up late, like around lunch time she will go downstairs and sit in front of tv. Sometimes I cook for her but recently I feel tired of it.
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You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to. If she’s hungry she can make something. Not your job
Unless she’s not able to cook, there’s no reason for you to feel obligated to feed her, if you’re not eating yourself.
She’s a grown-up, she’ll be fine.
Are you me? Lol I have exactly the same situation however she looks at her phone for hours instead of the TV. I used to make her breakfast but sometimes she would just leave it out for hours and not eat it so I just gave up.
She is an adult and capable of making her own meal.
Unless your MIL has some kind of disability that prevents her from cooking don’t treat her like an invalid. She can ask you for food or cook for herself when she gets up if she wants to eat.
Depending on her age though she may not be eating much anyways. When my grandfather got towards his 90’s he really only ate 2 small meals a day then maybe 1-2 snacks. He would drink boost or a protein shake though at the recommendation of his doctor.
Let’s flip this around – is this how you’d behave as a GUEST in someone’s home? Absolutely not.
The courtesy of her living there is plenty enough. And if she has time to watch tv, surely she can contribute to the house in a meaningful way – like cooking, cleaning, etc.
If this is how she behaves as a guest, I’d suggest making arrangements with husband to get her out.
Sort of related. My BIL lived with us for awhile two years ago. The rule I put in place (that my husband knew and agreed with) is that I would not make him food; however, if I was cooking for me, husband, and kids, I will always make enough to feed BIL. It worked well for us. In general, it was only at dinner time. He also, could have any leftovers that were in the fridge to reheat himself. Since he was in school, we did pay for about half of his snacks. Which seemed fair to us.
MIL lived with us. She is able to cook and I did not make breakfast or lunch for her. She could eat dinner with us if she wanted to. That was a big problem as we have a vastly different palate/preferences. She was capable of cooking for herself but chose not to. So no, I was not going to make meals for her. She often helped herself to my work breakfast and lunch meal prep.
Why would you need to cook another capable adult food when they have the time to do so? Is she disabled?
Has anyone asked you to? If not n don’t think about it.
If you don’t cook for the rest of the family and/or yourself, no need. But if/when you do, I would just prepare more so that there’s enough for her too
Nope. She’s a grown adult with two working hands and a mouth. Not a guest, not a toddler. If she’s hungry, she knows where the kitchen is.
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If you’re tired of cooking for her, stop. You’re not obligated to cook for someone who’s living with you but not contributing. Set boundaries and prioritize your own energy. If she wants lunch, she can cook it herself or discuss expectations with your husband.
I don’t even cook for my adult children that live with me unless I feel like cooking. They can make something for themselves. LOL
I guess the question is, would you rather she make food herself or that you do it? Some people are territorial about their kitchens. If you’re not, then stop cooking for her.
I don’t live with my MIL currently. She did live with us for a few months a couple of years ago, and will be moving back in with us when our house is finished in about 3 months. My MIL is not a morning person. I would always make breakfast and send our toddler in to wake her up (around 8). She almost always came in to eat, but sometimes it wasn’t until 10. She would then retreat back to her room and be on her phone for hours. We usually have leftovers or simple stuff like sandwiches or a quesadilla for lunch. At first I would offer to get her something as well, but she would usually say she would get something when she was hungry in an hour or so. Eventually I just stopped offering unless I was actually making something new for lunch. I figured she’s an adult, she can get something if/when she is hungry. I just always make sure there is food for lunches in the house. I then make dinner for everyone in the evening.
I do plan to do about the same thing when she moves back in with us. The difference is this time around I will have a six year old and 4 month old, so if she isn’t ready for regular meals when we have them, then she can get something herself. There will always be something available to eat.
I don’t make anyone’s lunch but mine. Everyone in my household is a freaking adult and can feed themselves. I make dinner and keep the pantry and fridge stocked, they do the rest because they’re grownups and I’m not their servant.
My MIL stays here as well. I have a rule for the whole family. I cook dinner. That’s it. I’m not cooking and cleaning all day sun up to sun down. I do cook breakfast one day a week. My hubs and I have protein smoothies for breakfast every other day. I meal prep his lunches. She is able bodied and I’m not a babysitter
If she lives there, she can make her own meals.
She’s an adult AND you’re NOT her servant.
My friend and her husband lived with his mother until she passed and lives with her mother. The rule is that friend cooks supper at 5 and cooks enough for everyone. The rest of the time, they fend for themselves. If they don’t like the supper option, they’re on their own. Works brilliantly.
Maybe just ask what type of ingredients she would like to have on hand to make her own lunch.
I wouldn’t. If she can’t cook for herself than you, her and husband can come up with some kind of meal prepping or easy fix stuff she can manage. If she just thinks you should be making her lunch, just no. “Hey, MIL, just a heads up: I won’t be doing lunch anymore, help yourself to the fridge”
Nope. Your kitchen, your rules. If she’s a grown adult, she can feed herself.
Cooking for a grown woman just because she lives with you? Nah, that’s not hospitality, that’s enabling.
Let her figure out lunch. You’re not her personal chef.
Nah. Don’t feel obligated to cook for her. I lived with my mil for 20 years and she preferred heating up her own meals.