I’ll be honest I’ve always thought it unfair as you are calling someone for something they can’t help. If joking about someone’s weight, something which can in most cases be controlled, is seen as body shaming why is it ok to joke about something they can’t control?
One of my employees came to see me yesterday and said some of the younger women here have started calling him “uncs”. He’s 23 and in the last year has lost nearly of his hair on his head. He’s doesn’t want me to say anything as he doesn’t want to be labelled a snitch but just wanted some advice on how ti handle it. I’ll be spending today in that department and waiting for one of them to say something.
Years ago me and my husband, who lost his hair at 20/21, were watching coronation street and some of the women were talking about men and one of them suggested one as a date and another said “errr no slap head, put a hat on” and then they all pulled their hair back and started slapping their foreheads. My husband said “imagine that was a group of men on a family show saying “err no flat chest put a push up bra on”. It’s always stuck with me.
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Insulting people in general is a dick move to be fair. But I agree no one should have to be insulted over something rhey cant help.
Edit: I have to be honest and admit that my brother is bald and I will mock him for it until one or both of us are dead. But hes my brother, so it doesnt count.
If this is in the work place then its an hr issue. I was reading a recent post on legaladviceuk and they were explaining that it is a protected characteristic and insults based on baldness fall under sexual harassment. I don’t recall the case they referenced though.
Yes it should. Banter about personal appearance is the lowest of energies
All I can think of is that KFC advert where the son sings ‘It must be terrible being married to a slaphead’
https://youtu.be/JMe2bMqtZQk?feature=shared
I’m bald, but I was ginger. I’ve been slagged perpetually.
Can you imagine just slagging a woman outright about her weight without repercussions?
As I have no soul, I don’t give a fuck.
Is he a good worker? If so, report the others to HR. They shouldn’t be bullying anyone and if it keeps up, he will inevitably leave.
Started losing mine a few years ago and other than a few comments from friends, which is the only place it is allowed, no one has said a thing. Had to accept and shave it eventually though 🙁
Absolutely should be frowned upon. I think it’s still done quite openly compared to other insults based on appearances.
It’s also just fucking terribly unimaginative and lazy.
I totally read that as insulating bald men and thought, why would that be wrong? Their heads get very cold.
Just don’t insult others appearance. Insulting/joking men for being bald, short or having ‘small dick energy’ is socially somewhat acceptable, especially amongst women, however, it isn’t really different from doing the same to women for being fat or flat chested
I am a bald man, but confident and it doesn’t bother me. But it clearly does bother this guy and therefore it’s not right.
I wouldn’t mind being mocked for being bald, but still getting stick for being ginger at the same time seems harsh.
Bald guy here
Congratulations on finding probably the only bald guy who cares.
I’ve never met another one.
I get hurt by insults like anyone else, but insults about being bald for some reason have always just bounced right off me.
I’ve personally never met a bald guy who cared or was sensitive about it. I guess there must be some, somewhere.
But like others have said, insults with intent are a dick move even if the recipient isn’t bothered
Yeah.
Most insult-based “banter” is rooted in people never growing out of high school mentality, and finding the line where they can still tear down others without being accused of bullying.
Easily identified when they get pissed off if someone does it back to them, or they escalate the insults further.
Are they younger than him? If so, it’s very possible he is projecting his hair insecurity onto the phrase. Unc is a very common phrase/meme right now to mean almost “anyone older than me”.
As with anything it all depends on intent. Personally I’m happy to laugh about it, especially with friends and family but in your specific scenario that’s obviously not on. I’d put that in the same sort of level as mocking someone for being obese
It’s just one of the many double standards that exist in a world where we’re now supposed to be universally egalitarian.
Insulting bald men is given a pass, simply because there aren’t enough people making a fuss about it and the consequences it can have on individuals.
Even if bald men did start kicking off about it en masse, before society reached a consensus that it is actually wrong, there would be plenty of people, both men and women, proudly calling them out for being weak/cry babies/snowflakes etc. Insults like that will often strike right at the very core of the male ego and everybody knows it
Men will always struggle to stick together on issues that affect all of them because of their innate penchant for competition with one another and their desire to impress and gain the approval of women. It’s pathetic really.
The way we treat people with who are different from us says a lot about who we are as a people.
I’m 27 and my hair is on its last legs. Like anything it’s all about context, people taking the piss out of me for it has never really bothered me.
If someone was doing it all the time then it stops being funny and starts being annoying. But you can say the same about a lot of things.
Kinda gotta say i wish this applied to height too. Its a bit depressing how much it can exclude you
Bald on the head, good in bed. It’s the extra testosterone..
Anyways, not on purpose, but I’ve always gone for Bald guys or guys losing their hair. My ex was so paranoid. He went to have this spray thing. It looked silly. I tried to encourage him to embrace the bald.
Men shouldn’t be mocked, they can’t help it. Just like I cant help it, I have PCOS and ive started to have hair loss… only complete arseholes would mock something someone can’t help
What about short guys? Fat guys? Ugly guys?
I think male body shaming is a bit of a blind spot for most progressives tbh. I’m bald and went that way in my early 20s and it sucked. I’m still not wild about it but have long since accepted it, but when I was single and on Tinder you’d often see “Must be 6 foot and have all your own hair and teeth”, and like your husband said, if you were to say “Must have at least a C cup and weigh 10 stone or less”, that would be unacceptable
Hair loss and height. The people that joke about them are usually just bullies hoping to get a laugh from someone.
When I started losing my hair in my early 40s a few people I worked seemed delighted to mention it, I thought it a weird line of attack, given their aesthetic short comings ( why attack? We didn’t have positive relationships, they weren’t keen on accountability ). I’d been aware I was losing hair and had accepted the fact, so it didn’t hurt, but in this case it was meant to demean me, it didn’t last because things like this don’t, due to my age. I think saying this to a young man is absolutely unacceptable.
Yes, actually. A lot of men get scammed or take medication with potentially rough side effects because of being scared of being bald, and it makes me very sad to see it, speaking as a woman here.
Absolutely. Started losing my hair at the top of my head around 3-4 years ago (am now mid-40s), I didn’t like it at all but, as you said, I had no say in the matter. I decided to take it all off and go completely bald. I’m quite a big guy, athletic and have been doing martial arts for a long time, so people don’t really tend to belittle me in a way that they perhaps could. But even if I wasn’t who I am, most have said going completely bald really suits me, make me look younger, even if I’m mistaken for a far-right thug on occasions by those who don’t know me!
Yes
It’s a blatant double standard. Body shaming women is frowned upon, yet a man who has a receding hairline or is bald prematurely is an acceptable target. Same as a man who is overweight, or who is shorter than average, or has a weak chin, or a small knob.
Ok, weight can be controlled but the others–baldness and a weak chin, height etc can’t. Yet for some reason it’s acceptable to mock people for it.
Yes. I personally don’t think you should make fun of something that isn’t a choice.
That is harassment and an HR issue. That is not ok.
If we are honest, it is because baldness primarily affects men. If it happened more to women, there would be a campaign to stop it.
Likewise, when you talk about body shaming, that again is towards women. You can body shame a man for being obese with no backlash.
Yes, same as ginger people.
Basically hits similar to racism when you’re abusing and treating people differently for their genetic makeup.
The gatekeepers will disagree of course but fuck them.
Considering the level of sensitivity men have about losing their hair, it really is just nasty behaviour. Surely counts as workplace bullying.
Bald guy, had it since it started dropping out in my early 20s. I’m pretty thick skinned so it doesn’t bother me too much. However once in a while I give it back, just for my own amusement. I’ve had some really pouty faces on the back of it. They just don’t expect someone to point out their flaws in return.
I used to refer to people as slap head and baldy. Not to their face one was our head teacher. I’m pretty much bald myself now so the jokes on me
My husband is bald and the amount of other men that think it’s ok to rub his bald head is astounding! One of his friends is overweight and I’m tempted to tell hubby next time he does it give his tummy a rub, see how that goes down.
Any comment on physical appearance is rude. I always believe the people who do it are that insecure about their own appearance that they have to pull others down to make themselves feel better.
Making fun of people’s appearance should be more frowned in general. Kids do that who don’t know any better. I’ve been a raging slaphead since I was about 24 and people still make jibes occasionally in the profession I work. It doesn’t bother me, but in general, these comments come from fatties, pizza faced divorcees with Shoe Zone trainers and BO. Which I could say but don’t due to bald classiness.
Also worth noting that a recent tribunal classed Baldism as sex based discrimination in one case.
People can have a pop at me for whatever they want. I’m brittish and worked construction, so there isn’t much I havent heard.
Ofcourse the other side of that coin is I can banter 99% of any population to tears, you get personal with me, and it’s going down that road.
People in glass houses need to not even pick up stones, and most people don’t want their obvious flaws paraded out as a joke for the world.
The advice I’d give him is to respond with “I don’t find that appropriate, please dont call me that”. If they continue it’s by their own admission they are bullying and its not just banter.
Also probably do his self asteem some good. Lerning how to use candour can be a confidence boost.
I always found it odd that its so normalised in football banter across all types of fans
Yes tbh, as a girl I always had thin hair cause I didn’t like eating so as a result had thin breaking hair due to not enough nutrients. My family used to pick on me for it but I remember when me and my best friend at the time were bantering and it got too far when we both insulted each others hair and she said that mine looked like a cancer patient and after I called her spider hair and we had the usual year 7, 3 day friend breakup. Looking back it was insensitive for us both as hair is a personal thing I think most get frustrated with styling and can love it and hate it depending on the cooperation, it’s a personal thing therefore I think loosing it must take a hit to the heart via balding, it’s a low blow and it’s always better to insult their ugly personality characteristics instead.
It’s not very nice.
I’m bald and really don’t care about it now. Call me what you want.
But I went bald at a really young age and that year or so before I shaved it off was horrible. People were just joking about and didn’t mean anything by it but it really hurt. Made me really self conscious.
Was like a weight of my shoulders when I finally shaved it all to the bone and never looked back.
People in general just need to not be dicks about something a person can’t help. It might seem funny at the time, but you have no idea how it makes the other person feel.
I’m in my 40’s so I’m not too arsed anymore, but doing it to someone who’s that young isn’t cool. It could be a medical thing for all that they know.
I’m bald and ginger, what a world
It’s not a bald head, it’s a solar panel for a sex machine
As a bald dude I get it sometimes, but equally i’m complimented on it too so it kinda balances out. In fact I received more criticism for having a thinning hairline, so i’ll take the occasional bald joke any day!
There was an employment tribunal a few years ago where it was deemed to be sexual harassment and creates a hostile work environment so you might want to be very proactive about how you handle this OP.
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/may/13/calling-a-man-bald-is-sexual-harassment-employment-tribunal-rules
Think most friend groups will all take the piss out of each other for various things, there’s nowt in it, and if anybody said “Rather you didn’t joke about that” then people would listen, or at least they will if you’ve got even a half decent group of mates.
Bit different when it’s at work but surely the same should apply, just a “Leave it out please lads”.
Calling a man ‘bald’ is sex-related harassment, employment tribunal rules
I am balding myself and my general rule is, jokes about physical things that people genetically cannot change or alter reasonably are off the table.
A girl at work hit me with “why do you bother spending £30 to get your hair cut” having a dig at the thinning up top.
I clapped back with “why do you bother going to the gym”.
Apparently I’m the dick?
My view is, if someone’s going to attack me for no reason, for something I can’t control. Strap in cause I’ll be nasty back. I was raised in MW2 lobbies. I can say some bad things.
I’m bald (not out of choice) and I’ll make a joke out of it but it does make me a bit self conscious.
He’s obviously spoken to you about it because it bothers him, but i feel you need to respect his decision and not pursue it.
HOWEVER, if you heard someone call him uncs, there’s nothing stopping you asking them why they did.
When they explain its because he’s bald (if they do) you can handle it how you want. Personally I’d threaten disciplinary for anyone using such nicknames moving forwards. You’d do it for a woman, so you have to be even handed/fair
I dunno. I kind of feel like being a bald is like….not a bad thing at all? Maybe I’m weird but I just don’t really register/care what hair someone has. I’ve loved more than one bald man in my time!
I suspect men are a lot more sensitive about it than we give them credit for (we,F) but I wonder if it is that they’ve tried some kind of value or worth to that hair that we don’t understand. To me it’s just hair 🤷🏼♀️ who cares 🤷🏼♀️ but men tend to compete with other heavily.
If the employee doesn’t like it though, v they should just all them to step the nickname (not that I really understand what ‘uncs’ means anyway). And ask to be called by their actual name. That isn’t a wild request!
I think insulting people in general should be frowned upon but I’m a grown ass man.
100% agree with you. Losing your hair young is brutal, and people acting like it’s some comedy prop just makes it worse. If it was weight, height, boobs, whatever – folk would call it body shaming. But with baldness it’s like “haha just banter”
Your poor lad’s only 23, that’s a rough age to be getting it. Honestly think you’re right to sit in and make sure it stops. Doesn’t matter if he didn’t want to be seen as a snitch, it’s your job to keep the workplace decent. They wouldn’t get away with mocking someone’s chest size or skin condition. Baldness should be treated the same.
https://news.sky.com/story/calling-a-man-bald-is-sexual-harassment-employment-tribunal-rules-12611690Calling a man bald is sexual harassment, employment tribunal rules | UK News | Sky News
Yes. Balding is as natural as sagging breasts, but If I mentioned that to a female colleague I would get sacked and rightly so.
Probably the same people who update their Facebook profile photo with #bekind and repost articles about how men should talk to each other.
Going bald can be life changing for some people and hugely affect them – which is why so many take drugs with potentially devastating side effects (suicidal thoughts, impotence etc) because they don’t want to be a social outcast.
Yeah it’s literally ridiculous how often people do it without second thought
Yeah i agree, my husband’s bald and even though he shaved it 8 years ago he’s still conscious of it, I can see his uncomfortable ‘haha’ when someone mentions it. He’s not so secretly praying another of his friends will go bald but early 30s and no one has so far, they’re mostly £%!&s for different reasons though, I’d take bald over a cheater but apparently I’m not allowed to say that in defence of him.
Unc is just a term the younglings are using nowadays. No need to get so offended by it
You can always remind people via an email of I’m guessing you company policy on harassment, and use example for both men and women so that people might get the link
Its a personal thing and if it bothers him then its wrong. It is clearly affecting him because he has spoken to his boss about it.
Its a sad reflection on society that he is worried about reporting bullying because he might end up onthe receiving end of the problems. You can pretty much guarantee that if he called one of those younger women ‘chubbs’ or similar then he would be hauled up in front of HR in fairly short order.
The person who I have seen get most abuse for being bald is jada pinkett smith. So even for baldness the media will still go at a woman more than a man
Insulting someone over their appearance is such an infantile thing, and I can only imagine socially inept or uneducated people getting involved. Having said that, where is there the resilience of those on the recieving end to say “Don’t be a child” and ignore it? The whole “name-calling” is so puerile
It just seems dumb to me as a baldy.
>You’re bald. Lol.
>Woah shit. I hadn’t noticed.
I’m a fellow bald man and can honestly say that no one who’s teased me about my head meant anything bad by it.
I’m more offended if they like Nickelback
Yes and insulting gingers should be too. For some reason society has realised insulting everyone else over something they can’t control is not ok but being bald and ginger are the exceptions for some reason. When a family friend had a ginger baby someone literally said it meant she was a devil child on the bus and she wasn’t joking. Plus it wasn’t all that long ago I was in school (left college in 2018) and being ginger got you bullied mercilessly. With being bald your hair is such an intrinsic part of how you look and perceive yourself it’s just not ok to take the piss like that. Especially for a young guy like that.
Mocking people for their appearance is a low blow, especially for stuff out of their control. Tbh I think hair (or lack thereof) should be a protected characteristic in professional environments like that.
I believe it’s a protected characteristic under the discrimination law in relation to gender.
I’m 6’3
On my last day of work one of the guys came to see me – he’s about 5’3 – I never thought anything of it – he came to thank me for never teasing him about his height
I didn’t say anything to him – other than why would I – it’s not funny…… but when I was a kid my friend was teased for being short and it really upset him
I realised teasing people about things they can’t control is a horrible thing to do and they should not do it –
So yes teasing people about being bald is not cool
It’s never bothered me personally as long as they can take it back.
A guy in my workplace didn’t like it and went to the office when he got called “too small” back and the name stuck.
My friend lost his hair really young, he was a rocker so it was really important to him. We were rotten to him about other things – we all teased each other. Never mentioned his baldy heid though.
There’s no real way to avoid it so the better thing is to give it hard to young balding men. Help them get over it faster.
What I learned is that for 99% of women it’s practically irrelevant. Given their druthers they’d probably pick a full head of hair but it’s really not a priority.
Where they will slaughter you though is lack of confidence, so do yourself a favour and shave it off, iron your clothes, and hit the gym.
I’m approaching 40 and my hair is as thick as a fucking MP so I feel like an arse whenever I comment about this but I literally don’t get it: rock the bald and anyone who cares beyond attraction is a moron (and in terms of attraction it’s a crapshoot where people already make arbitrary lines over things that also don’t matter like hight, colour, weight, how they walk funny or don’t, whether they put socks on first or trousers on first, whether it’s tuesday, whether they “Feel” like they like them etc)
I don’t know man if it was good enough for Sir Patrick Stewart I don’t know what to tell anyone who thinks less of it.
Bald guy here – Say what you want just make it original I started loosing my hair at 17 so I’ve had over 30 years of shit so it gets boring after a while.
Funnily enough there is a video below this in my feed of a bald guy with a beard from another sub with a comment ‘he’s got his head upside down’.
So yes.
This happened to me about a month or two ago and I posted about it back then. I’m still incensed at the episode:
I walked out of the gym a couple of weeks ago and was just crossing the car park when a fellow gym member (I’d guess around 18 or so) walked past and just randomly uttered “baldy” as he walked past me. Now admittedly I am bald, but I was absolutely taken aback at the sheer affrontery of some scrote to think that that was something perfectly acceptable to say outside of the school playground, and to a complete stranger.
I responded with an astonished “What??” and he bristled a bit and started squaring up as if I was in the wrong somehow for being bald. So I defused it a bit by calling him “Hairy” and he smirked, then wandered off but realising perhaps that he’d lost somehow, he then called me a word that sounded like Speedo but without the S. Now I may be bald but I’m certainly not that.
All in all it was a very bewildering and unnecessary exchange.
Its not a protected characteristic but xan get a fine for commenting on it at a workplace for sex based harrasment,
It’s mainly at football but it doesn’t bother me. Someone will say who’s marking baldy and I just laugh. Next corner, I’ll say who’s picking up that silly fat wanker, who’s picking up council haircut. Easy come, easy go.
I’m bald, but also tending to fat & moderately ugly.
I like to think I give people multiple targets to take aim at.
If I was you OP I’d get them all together, and get the lad who’s affected to stand up say it’s really getting him down, it might be a joke to you lot but it’s pissing me right off etc.
If these girls he works with are any good they’ll realise what they’re doing and stop it.
According to the bible (2 Kings 2:23-25) getting bears to attack the offenders is an acceptable punishment!
Of course insulting someone’s appearance is not acceptable whatever it is about. I think that in some ways, society can treat jokes/insults about men’s appearances as more acceptable than women’s. Women are still probably judged harder for their looks, but it’s less likely to be said out in the open. Whereas, it’s acceptable to insult/joke about men being bald or short etc.
I think it is frowned upon, calling someone bald is no different than calling someone fat
“Uncs” is very mild. Think it would be a bit different if they started calling him baldy, getting personal, slapping head etc.
First day I was bald, one of my close friends slapped the back of my head – it was the last time anybody ever did anything like that. Was fuming and felt majorly degraded / embarrassed (the whole party stopped because the sound was so loud)
It’s just not ok. And yes, there’s a lot of double standards when it comes to men and women but probably not a discussion you want to dive into on Reddit.
I work in a blue collar after a lifetime of white collar. I got a absolutely ragged about my height on joining. Truth be told as a short man 5″2 I am honestly embarrassed and ashamed about it. But it’s not like I chose this height . Funnily enough the only guy that doesn’t tease me is the taller manager.
Women can make some awful comments too and certain ones seem to get very offended by my existence.
Many years ago I went in the accounts office as a temp for some papers. As I’m leaving I turn the corner in the L shaped office. Head of accounts lady suddenly pipes up has midget gone? I say, did you say something and she goes, (oops)no nothing
I get it when you’re going bald in your 20s. That must be pretty crap. But being bald in your 50s is fairly normal and I think you’d have to be pretty thin skinned to care about it at that age. The way I judge it is, has anyone ever failed to get a job, or a promotion because they’re bald? I’m not sure they have in the same way they have for other categories people are mentioning here.
Having said that, anything can be annoying if it’s persistent enough. I used to get annoyed at colleagues constantly commenting on what I was eating for lunch.
Baldy here. No. We’re not a minority and aren’t oppressed.
It’s so nuanced though. Teasing & joking can be great ways of bonding, but it has to be understood that the person on the receiving end is recipient to it. A colleague of mine calls me a dumb blonde or fatty (I weigh 120lbs lol), and I call him old & limpy (he limps). But there’s an understanding neither of us mind. If it’s someone you are not familiar with, it’s the socially intelligent thing to not “banter” with them.
There’s also definitely something in there where there is a gendered double standard, which most comments have addressed.
If someone explicitly doesn’t like it, and you persist, then you’re an ass. If limpy asks me to stop, I’d stop.
I’m bald
Could not give less off a fuck. Feels like people getting outraged on my behalf. Like making a joke out of me being bald? Fucking go for it, it’s better than them taking the piss out of what my hair would look like if I let it grow out.
Now if it’s actually posed as an insult? I just think that person is an insecure dick, it’s not going to upset me but I’d certainly be looking to disassociate with that person.