Got my older brothers ashes in my home. Don’t wanna scatter them because I’m not ready to. It’s been 10 yrs and he was found dead in the woods in Florida. Alcoholism killed him and he was alone when he died. Maybe I feel like I’m keeping him safe by holding on to him and having him home in Jersey.
I have my father’s and my grandmother’s ashes here at home with me. I’ve always thought scattering them was odd. My mother scattered my step father’s in his favorite river to fish in when I was a kid. Just seems like I’d be dumping my loved ones away. The ashes are their body after all. My mother requests my brothers’s portions of her ashes to be scattered, but says I can keep some of her ashes in an urn as long as I promise not to place her urn next to my father’s 🤣 seems like a fair compromise lol
I didn’t want a huge urn of my daddy‘s ashes and got a small memory urn that’s no larger than about 3 inches tall. The remainder of his ashes were placed in the veteran cemetery since he had served in the military. My mother when she passes will be next to him. I however have no close living relatives; so if my wishes are taken into account, I wish to have them scattered at my favorite place.
Regret is maybe too heavy a word for it. I have my dad’s ashes at home. The urn is very artful and lovely, not the silver urn with three lines on it that is the first thing in the urn magazine. (It’s weird what you have to shop for when people die.)
But the thing is, I sort of wish we had scattered them or perhaps had a columbarium or someplace dedicated to it. Because now they’re just there in the house. And it’s fine, I’m not freaked out by the morbidity of it, but it’s never gonna feel right to just shove the remains of dad into a basement corner to change up the decor. Plus the thing about a place like a cemetery is that it gives you a place to go and a place to leave. You can keep it in that emotional context. The physical space is also a mental space. Which seems kind of nice. Even tho in the long run I think cemeteries may be unsustainable and the dead should not occupy too much space that the living may need to live on.
This is probably morbid but idc, my mom has dementia so we’re already planning cremation. I think I would like to scatter some of her ashes when she dies but keep some with me too
My mother entrusted me my grandmothers ashes. My mother’s thoughts were a columbarium. But she did not like a cold, dark place. So I’ve had them for 25 years staying warm by our fireplace. My mother passed and she was cremated. I have a portion of her ashes. I think it’s time for a roadtrip to place their ashes together in the ocean where my grandfather’s were spread.
I asked my Mom to keep some of my grandmas. I wanted to put them in a necklace.
After we did the scattering ceremony she came up to me and said she forgot.
Not two hours later, it came up again that I didn’t get any ashes, I was upset but not discussing it, I wanted it to be a day to remember Grandma. I hear my Mom loudly saying she deliberately didn’t save me any because she “thought I was going to put it in a tattoo.”
Like what the fvck is that even? I don’t have any tats (personal choice, would rather body paint or henna, wash it off, make a new design! I have nothing against tats, tho, just not for me) and even if I did what would that matter to her??
So I regret My Mother spreading grandmas ashes and not saving me any for a necklace.
I have my late husbands ashes, but I am moving soon and he is not coming with me. I will be scattering them somewhere before then. His family doesn’t want them and neither do our kids.
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Got my older brothers ashes in my home. Don’t wanna scatter them because I’m not ready to. It’s been 10 yrs and he was found dead in the woods in Florida. Alcoholism killed him and he was alone when he died. Maybe I feel like I’m keeping him safe by holding on to him and having him home in Jersey.
I have my father’s and my grandmother’s ashes here at home with me. I’ve always thought scattering them was odd. My mother scattered my step father’s in his favorite river to fish in when I was a kid. Just seems like I’d be dumping my loved ones away. The ashes are their body after all. My mother requests my brothers’s portions of her ashes to be scattered, but says I can keep some of her ashes in an urn as long as I promise not to place her urn next to my father’s 🤣 seems like a fair compromise lol
I didn’t want a huge urn of my daddy‘s ashes and got a small memory urn that’s no larger than about 3 inches tall. The remainder of his ashes were placed in the veteran cemetery since he had served in the military. My mother when she passes will be next to him. I however have no close living relatives; so if my wishes are taken into account, I wish to have them scattered at my favorite place.
Regret is maybe too heavy a word for it. I have my dad’s ashes at home. The urn is very artful and lovely, not the silver urn with three lines on it that is the first thing in the urn magazine. (It’s weird what you have to shop for when people die.)
But the thing is, I sort of wish we had scattered them or perhaps had a columbarium or someplace dedicated to it. Because now they’re just there in the house. And it’s fine, I’m not freaked out by the morbidity of it, but it’s never gonna feel right to just shove the remains of dad into a basement corner to change up the decor. Plus the thing about a place like a cemetery is that it gives you a place to go and a place to leave. You can keep it in that emotional context. The physical space is also a mental space. Which seems kind of nice. Even tho in the long run I think cemeteries may be unsustainable and the dead should not occupy too much space that the living may need to live on.
I kept a loved ones ashes because I know they felt lonely often so I didn’t want to scatter them anywhere.
I think what we did with our cat and my Mom was very fitting. Unfortunately there are more regrets about the ashes we don’t have than the ones we do.
This is probably morbid but idc, my mom has dementia so we’re already planning cremation. I think I would like to scatter some of her ashes when she dies but keep some with me too
Regretted doing it on a windy day, sure.
My mother entrusted me my grandmothers ashes. My mother’s thoughts were a columbarium. But she did not like a cold, dark place. So I’ve had them for 25 years staying warm by our fireplace. My mother passed and she was cremated. I have a portion of her ashes. I think it’s time for a roadtrip to place their ashes together in the ocean where my grandfather’s were spread.
I asked my Mom to keep some of my grandmas. I wanted to put them in a necklace.
After we did the scattering ceremony she came up to me and said she forgot.
Not two hours later, it came up again that I didn’t get any ashes, I was upset but not discussing it, I wanted it to be a day to remember Grandma. I hear my Mom loudly saying she deliberately didn’t save me any because she “thought I was going to put it in a tattoo.”
Like what the fvck is that even? I don’t have any tats (personal choice, would rather body paint or henna, wash it off, make a new design! I have nothing against tats, tho, just not for me) and even if I did what would that matter to her??
So I regret My Mother spreading grandmas ashes and not saving me any for a necklace.
I still love my Mom but that was really mean.
I have my late husbands ashes, but I am moving soon and he is not coming with me. I will be scattering them somewhere before then. His family doesn’t want them and neither do our kids.
I couldn’t bear to part with my mom’s ashes and I still have them. I think she’s ready to be interred, or I’m ready.