I’ve always felt like there’s only one kind of love.
The idea of different “types” of love doesn’t make sense to me at all. Look at the Oxford definition: “an intense feeling of deep affection.” That feeling can apply to friends, sisters, partners. It’s the same.
People say sex is about love (i know that they dont always, but you know what i mean), but then they only do it with their partner — not their sister or best friend — even when they SAY that they love them (the sister, or whoever) just as much. That feels like a crack in the logic.
They often say, “I just love them in a DIFFERENT way,” but that doesn’t make sense to me. You can add other feelings (like sexual desire), but that doesn’t change the “love” part into something else.
It’s like adding sadness to anger — it doesn’t stop being anger, it just becomes anger PLUS sadness. Same with love. Love is just “love”.
Does anyone else think this way?
(Note: i have tried to ask people this before, but they get uncomfortable. Im not trying to be weird. I just feel like this makes the most sense, and is the most consistent)
ps: i dont want to have sex with anyone that i love, since sex is horny. Not lovey
Edit: thanks for talking with me
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If you think of an axis where Y = Love to Hate and X = Pleasure to Pain , then True love would be the shape of a drop of water. All relationships would be points below it in some spot of that drop 💧.
This is how I would describe how there are different types of love
To me, the love I feel for my sister and parents are different than the one I feel for my friends and my partners.
My love for my family and friends is way different than the one for my partners.
When I love someone, I feel like my belly is swirling, my brain is filled with andorphine and a strong sense of protection that goes both ways. I want to protect them and I feel protected. And when I have a sudden pulsion of love for them, I will feel the urge to kiss them and hug them intimately.
When I love a friend, I don’t feel the urge to kiss them or this swirling feeling. I feel an excess of joy when I see them and a sense of freedom. I want to hug them but I a more reserved way, not intimate.
Family is also different, I feel safe with them and want to hug them but in a way that protective. I’m safe in their arms and we’re bound together by blood. But I don’t feel as free as with my friends and I don’t feel this strong joy. I feel comfort and warmth.
And for the sex part, I personally need to have the “partner” kind of love to feel any sort of sexual attraction to anybody, otherwise it makes me feel sick.
I can’t and won’t feel the same type of love for my father as I would for my partner, nor would I want to. The feelings of love I have for my father are rooted in how he took care of me in my most vulnerable states, how he provided for us, put food on the table while giving us a comfortable upbringing, spent all of his waking free time with me, guided and encouraged me, etc. The love I have for my partner shares some aspects of the love I have for my father, like admiration and dedication for example; but it’s also rooted in desire, physical and emotional intimacy, plans for the future when forming a family, etc. These are all aspects of love that I would never share with a family member or friend, ever. So yes, the general feeling of affection and CARE for the person is the same, but the roots go much much deeper. And that’s why I don’t respect, and actually kind of pity, superficial love.
The Oxford dictionary is English only. If you expand your languages other cultures capture this better. In close relationship, Greek has multiple types of love, Eros, philia, agape, and storge.
Friendship, romantic, an all encompassing love etc.
You would do well to recognize that perhaps the limit you have is language, culture, and experience
Yep, I feel the same way. It’s probably alexithymia or something.