I have a friend I’ve know since highscool let’s call her C. We weren’t close friends back then but through the years have met up mutually with another friends for a drink or a casual conversation.
Now to preface this I don’t know her in a deeper or personal way except for some anecdotes shared through the years.
I’m very close to my other friend let’s call her B. We have been in the best friend category / close friends for years. Well recently we have both noticed over the course of years that C will unfriend, restrict or mute us over the years. It would be less obvious if she didn’t immediately invite us back to follow her and friend request us and a group of other friends multiples times.
Sometimes multiple times a year. Now I don’t hate or dislike her, have been nothing but kind. But she recently did this again, and while I’m not wanting to offend her I don’t want to accept the request? It feels like what’s she’s doing is unhealthy including changing her profile, her pictures and just seemingly this cycle hasn’t changed.
Again I’m not her best friend, I’m merely an acquaintance and my other friend was kind of closer so do I accept the request again? Or do I move on and tell her should text me instead or something that maybe is more realistic?
Just looking for advice –
1. accept the request again.
2. Don’t accept and ignore additional requests.
3. Accept but then remove after giving her a phone number she can actually reach?
I’m worried about her mental health and feel like deactivating is smarter but it’s getting weird feeling like there’s a reason she’s either deleting/ blocking/ restricting or just being weird about this.
Comments
Seems like she has some struggles. I wouldn’t spend too much time thinking about it or trying to find a way to navigate it. If she unfriended you, no reason to add her back. Seems like unnecessary drama and you have the ability to rise above it.
Don’t accept her request. Do you care to see her posts or have her see yours?
This is not really your friend. You can ask her why she’s doing this. Why do you think its mental health related
Let it sit in friend request limbo and just ignore it.
Two. Just ignore. I knew someone from high school who created new FB accounts on average of once a year and then kept sending me friend requests from each new account. After I had accepted her friend request at least four different times, I just stopped accepting them because it was getting annoying. She went through two or three new accounts before she stopped adding me.
Even if she’s having mental health issues, you are not close enough to her to be the person who needs to be keeping tabs on her.
For one: it doesn’t really matter what you do, and even if you change your mind later.
She is most likely severely struggling with anxiety, fear or some other mental health issue. Getting people to befriend her back probably gives her a little relief from the fear: you accepting it is not promoting an unhealthy behavior, she is coping as she can and the issue is much stronger (and cannot be fixed by cold limits).
Leaving her request unanswered is probably a good way to let it go. But you can also just decide to re-accept and not care.
This is a form of “splitting” commonly seen in people with Borderline Personality Disorder. I would let the friend request hang out in limbo, don’t accept or reject.
Everyone has gotten weirder. And more aggressive.
Are you certain she’s blocking/restricting first or are these deleted then new accounts? My aunt and an old classmate both friend me under new accounts periodically but it’s because they’re bad with technology/big on starting fresh after social media breaks. If I was actually being blocked and unblocked yeah, I’d avoid responding to the requests at all.
I have friends who go back and forth about using social media. Sometimes they shut down their accounts for a while. Then they need to friend everyone. I have muted some people because they post too much. I am sure some people mute me as well. It’s not personal.
it sounds like you’re posting about me and…i have PMDD and CPTSD that uhhh…comes out in strange ways sometimes. i don’t usually add people back though. it’s too awkward. it’s a mania/paranoia thing as far as i can tell, which i struggle to discern in the moment.
2020s psychosis
Why do you feel you need advice on this? If you’ve been going along for a few years now just accepting and moving on, why not just ignore and move on?
If you feel like you want to keep in touch, talk with her and see if there’s a reason for the deleting and re-adding behavior. Maybe there’s a solution where you don’t feel obligated to keep accepting, but you or she can still reach out. Like the phone number.
Ultimately, if you don’t want to stay in touch you don’t have to take any action at all. But going a more direct route might help break the cycle too.
Don’t accept you have no obligation to her.
I did weird shit like this when I was in an abusive relationship.
I don’t accept multiple friend requests because often it’s a sign of being hacked.