I (20F) have an emotionally abusive and controlling family. They let me know that if I were to leave, they’d cut me out of their will. Deep down, I don’t think I care, since it’s their money. Also, mental health is important to me. However, they’re good at manipulating me and telling me that I will really regret my decision when I’m older, as I live in an expensive city. I understand not having too much pride and being able to accept a gift, but I don’t think the cost that this has on my mental health is worth it, especially since this is a payment that they’re wanting to give me in the future. I’m still young, so I don’t know if I’m making the wrong choice and being delusional. I’m having a lot of doubts. Deep down, I truly believe that life is too short to be spent waiting for a payout. Moreover, I don’t want to feel indebted to the people who want to give this to me, because they seem like the type of people who would hold something like this over my head.
TL;DR – I have an emotionally abusive family who tells me that if I were to cut ties and move out, that I’d regret it. I don’t think I would, but I’m young, so I don’t know if I’m making a mistake, either.
Comments
If you have the means to get by alone, go for it. The toll to your health staying with an abusive family can only be outweighed if you think you’re going to end up homeless. From my pov this seems like the desperate last ditch attempt to manipulate you coming from a man who is fast realising his grip on you is weakening.
If they’re wealthy enough for the inheritance to make a sizeable sum they’re also likely to be around into their 80s – can you picture your current life trajectory and involvement with them going on until you’re 50/60 which is when most people see parental inheritance. Your phrase “too much pride to accept a gift” jumped out to me. A gift implies it’s freely given, this is being dangled with overt strings attached.
You won’t regret it. I cut my family out after the election, and it was definitely weird at first, but I feel way way better now. Also, I wouldn’t even consider any inheritance. Go make your own way and be proud of yourself.