When I turned 20 I had baby fever very bad. I was hyper aware of children around me and found myself doing things like wondering into the baby sections of the department store like a mindless zombie. Like not even relize I am cooing over tiny clothes, and then wondering what the hell I am doing.
Life did not pan out for me to have a child. AND before people come at me, I am happy with the choices I made, bring in a child at that time was not a good idea. And I am happy, I have a good job, and plenty of hobbies.
But I have found that I am not sure that I want children. I am finding children gross and loud to extent I have never felt before. And I no longer hyper aware of them, or notice them.
Has anyone else experienced this?
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I don’t really believe in the happily ever after anymore. It would take a lot of convincing for me to do so..
After a difficult time dating, and having poor experiences, I don’t believe anyone would commit to me yet alone reach all those milestones… I lost my interest in having kids just because I would want my kids to have two parents and no room for bs. I’d rather not think about having kids anymore. I was so disappointed that things didn’t go for me like it does for other people.
I think the Nostalgia of having children goes away when you’re not around them or around the topic all the time also. Also when you’re not around the outside influence of others you start to be able to make more informed decisions. I find as you get older you are less likely to get the oh so when are you having kids? Topic of conversation. Occasionally you’ll get people who are just assume you have children. I think another comparison also is people who want puppies. There’s a lot of people out there who every time they see a puppy they’re so excited and they talk about them all the time and anytime they see you one they are all about it but the reality of owning a puppy taking care of a puppy and training a puppy and feeding a puppy and not being able to leave your house for the weekend without finding a Doggy Daycare or someone to watch the puppy really makes that puppy fever go away quickly for a lot of people.
Same. Had baby fever in my early 20s. Spent most of it in self development with so-so finances trying to establish some financial independence.
Tried relationships but most men would use money to control and werent the best at maintaining romance and fun. So it makes me wonder if things would last outside of the honeymoon phase.
Im not comfortable enough financially where id raise a child on my own, but i also don’t want to procreate with someone who wouldnt be a good example. So im on the fence for both financial reasons and then men who struggle with boundaries & vulnerability.
I have two kids, but found the baby fever went away when I fully accepted that having more kids is not in the cards. The rising cost of living, including housing, will do that, along with lacking a supportive village. I’m almost 38, my kids are almost 9, and while I’m honestly kind of relieved to be already halfway done ( in some ways, I also am dreading it in other ways)- having kids relatively young, before it was ideal, was so stressful. Thankfully once you get to like 35 or so, people generally stop asking when/if you’ll have kids/more kids. I got an IUD a few years ago, husband got a vasectomy, and now we are looking clearly into our future, not at “what ifs” anymore. I don’t envy pregnant women or women with babies anymore, in fact, I am greatly relieved it’s not me.
I’m 36. I had baby fever when I was younger. Once I realized the reality of what it meant to have/raise a child, it went away.
> AND before people come at me, I am happy with the choices I made, bring in a child at that time was not a good idea.
Why would anyone come at you for not having a child when you were 20?
The human brain typically isn’t fully finished developing until around age 25, specifically the part of the brain that helps you reason, supports impulse control, and make choices with future consequences and results in mind (the prefrontal cortex). So it actually makes a ton of sense that something that seemed like your ultimate life goal at age 20 might seem less appealing now that you’re older.
Hormones. You’re describing hormones.
As your hormones balance out in your 20s you have more space to question societal “norms and expectations” and decide what is best for you. The desire to have children has fallen away for many of us in this generation, for a variety of reasons.
Close to 40 many women I know are going through a sudden I-must-have-a-baby change after being childfree for years in their 30s and totally content with their childfree existence. It is because of hormone changes and facing the door closing on fertility.
I gave in to baby fever and had mine when I was 22. I love my baby (now teenager) and I don’t regret having him at all, but honestly it was a really stupid decision and I wish that I had approached it more logically and waited a few years.
Mine faded when I was around 31. I’m about to turn 44. Sometimes I wish things had been different but I’m still content and I would not want a baby today.