Me [24F] my now ex-bf [24M] broke up last December after being together for roughly a year and a half. Long story short-I initiated the break up because I was on a visa and my parents were extremely controlling and abusive and disproved of my interracial relationship. My visa was soon running out and the toll that my parents had on our relationship caused deep issues that I could not see us resolving. It was super hard on the both of us because we genuinely thought that we were it for each other. We are super compatible and love each other deeply.
After the breakup, we both travelled to different places and when we returned to the same city, we met up and talked it through. A few weeks later, we got together again but only temporarily (for a month) because I was due to leave the country and I didn’t want to keep him waiting around for me in case I didn’t return. It was meant to serve as some sort of goodbye.
Fast forward to now, I just received word that he is early stages in a new relationship. We have been talking up till now but once he mentioned this, I knew that the right thing to do is to go no-contact and just wish him the best.
Now, I won’t lie when I say that a small part of me selfishly hopes that a few years down the line, when I have more clarity on my life situation and hopefully escaped my parents grasp, we will get back together.
However, i am also trying to make my peace with the fact that this may not happen and this new person he is dating might just be the person he ends up getting married to.
I guess what I’m asking is- do you have any stories of a similar situation, where the two of you had to break up for reasons out of your control and then dated other people but then somehow found your way back to each other? I know I’m being delusional but I just want to hold out on some hope.
TL;DR: Me and my ex-bf broke up for reasons out of our control, he just got into a new relationship, but we both loved each other deeply and still care about one another. I will go no-contact soon. Wanting to hear stories of others who had a similar situation and maybe got back together against all odds.
Comments
Well, the first thing I’m going to suggest is that you start setting boundaries with your family as to what aspects of your life are OK for them to be a part of. I’d also work towards setting the boundary of “When I make a decision, that’s the decision and you no longer have a say.” Family relationships can be complicated once you hit adulthood. As far as the unresolved feelings for your ex go, you should probably try to do some work to get past them, it isn’t healthy to hold on to those feelings for too long. You should mourn the death of that relationship and begin to look forward to what is to come in your life.
Good luck!
I know those stories exist for sure, and obviously getting back together works sometimes, specially when the reason for the breakup is something like yours. If it was just because you couldn’t get along then I think there’s no getting back together