Hello, I’m 24M and I recently got reminded of a time where I was playing out with a group of female friends (I was 14 at the time). We went round one of their houses and at one point, two of them took my shirt off and started touching my chest. They twisted my nipples to the point they bruised for about a week if I recall. My Mum even commented on it after it happened.
There was another more recent time where a gay co-worker of mine clung to me and licked my face intimately, which I must admit has made me feel uncomfortable since it happened, but I know the co-worker and he’s a good guy!
I don’t know why these memories came up, but I realised I might feel a bit uncomfortable about it looking back? My girlfriend is telling me I was SA’d, but it doesn’t feel that serious, it’s not like they touched anything intimate. She knows I get a lot of answers from here as I like to see a tonne of opinions and viewpoints to decide my own, so what do you all think?
Comments
Sexual things done to you without consent is sexual assault
These things may not seem serious, and “Serious” is a spectrum when it comes to sexual assault, but it is all sexual assault and is all serious. Sure, you probably aren’t going to want to try and bring legal charges against those girls for something they did as teenagers for instance, but all the same it’s good to be honest with yourself about the situation being wrong and not something that should have been done to you.
It definitely counts as SA
But it is also up to you, what you do with this information.
If you keep rethinking it, it has clearly affected you more than your conscious mind can process at the time.
It would be helpful to talk to a therapist or a trusted friend.
Or even to write your thoughts down in a letter, to the people responsible for making you feel uncomfortable.
You can mail or flush (much safer than burning) the letter after.
What you shouldn’t do is torture yourself over technicalities.
You are an individual, with individual boundaries and preferences for interactions with the world around you. It is up to you alone to enforce them in whichever way you see fit.
Just don’t hurt yourself of anyone you care about in the process.
Be gentle, but persistent.
It’s definitely sexual… it’s assault if you didn’t like it.
If it felt overtly sexual and you did not consent, it was assault. I am so so sorry you had to experience that.
Snowflake
Licking your face without you doing anything? If my best friend for years and years licked my face intimately I would be pissed and would have one less friend…How disgusting to have let it happen! … jmo
I’m a gay man. I can quickly recall how many friends’ faces I’ve licked – it’s none. That’s just fucking weird.
Twisting nipples to the point of bruising them? If it’s not sexual abuse it’s plain physical abuse.
In both cases you’ve been abused. If you were left bruised, or left feeling uncomfortable, it’s abuse.
How you categorise it (sexual or physical) is up to you.
By todays standards yes. Jail time for you. Back in the 90s? A joke.
Yes, all of the above and without your consent. I’m so sorry that happened.
they actually count as SA im sorry you had to go through that