Does realizing that your parent is a covert narc mean rewriting a lot of the life stories and incidents with them?

r/

Suddenly it’s hitting me wow he probably didn’t have well meaning intentions all along. It was probably self centered and more.

Comments

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  2. Doodlebug510 Avatar

    Yes.

    When you finally have the epiphany that you were raised by a narc, your entire childhood becomes one big lie.

  3. angelicsophia Avatar

    Yes it’s like dominoes as it all falls into place. Most of my memories with my narcissist mother are her domineering, diminishing and devaluing me, but the few times she appeared to do something decent like taking me to an art class, I’m realising also probably had to do with her own motivations and who she wanted me to be, and not genuine love.

  4. Then_Yellow_8091 Avatar

    Yes.

    Every decision that she made that initially seemed as if it were to protect me was really just because those things benefited her with the added incentive of protecting me for plausible deniability.

    It took me 25-30 years to realize this. It wasn’t clear until I started earning achievements as an adult in my own house that she could not benefit from or claim and, suddenly, nothing that I achieve matters anymore. Even my own safety doesn’t matter since she cannot see me as an extension of herself. 

  5. Awakening40teen Avatar

    Only every single story…

  6. dannybau87 Avatar

    I remember in high school her throwing a suitcase at me to leave and thinking …. wait what triggered this I have no idea why this is happening.
    We weren’t even in the same part of the house.

  7. acfox13 Avatar

    They used to tell the story of how I was such a “good baby”, bc they could leave me on a blanket alone for hours and “I’d entertain myself.” That story is a story of neglect!

  8. DatFunny Avatar

    Yes. It’s also become more apparent as I relive my childhood through my kids. I would never do the things they did to me, to my own child.