For the sake of all that’s good… if you have a friend, a colleague, an employee, a schoolmate, a lover, husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend… who is usually closed off and restrictive with their feelings..
Do not ask them to open up to you or to share their feelings .. to “communicate” … if you are not willing, able, and determined to actually BE there for them when they do.
People who are usually closed off are that way for a REASON. Usually because they have a hell of a lot of trauma and residual feelings, and they likely won’t be as measured at letting those out as someone who does it regularly.
If you ask someone like that to open up, BE PREPARED for the flood gates to open and damned well stand by them. Inviting them to open up and then abandoning them and telling them they are too much is fucking cruel.
I’ve just lost a friend to suicide… he was always very closed off about his childhood and his feelings because he believed he was too much. 7 months with a girl that insisted he open up and be more emotional and he was scared to lose her so he opened up….she decided he was too much “hard work” and walked. Now he’s gone.
So either stand by them or shut up and leave them be.
Comments
I agree