For more context, I wasn’t trying snoop through her things. I had slept over her house and she had gone to the bathroom, I went to reach into this storage/ cabinet thing attached to her bed which I know she keeps her vibrator in as I was going to initiate some fun.
However, I couldn’t find it at first and figured it had fallen down further. This cabinet is like 4 feet tall and is built to the headboard. What I was pretty shocked to find were a pillow from her ex with pictures of them on it and an alarming amount of condom boxes.
We have been dating for 2 years and friends for about 3.5. So I know she’s only had 2 partners in her room during that time because it’s her family house and she didn’t feel very comfortable with bringing guys there.
Now I figured these condoms were old, because my gf and I don’t use them as she’s on BC, but I was curious to see the dates on them, I guess just to be sure. However, when I went to check I realized the first box I grabbed was open and to my shock there was a used condom in it. I ended up accidentally touching it and kinda through it back in the cabinet.
I did end up taking one of the empty boxes and check the exp date and it was like 2023 which makes it likely a 2021 ish condom that fit the time frame of her last year dating her ex (she was around 18).
Initially, when I saw the pillow of them it was even a little weird (however I knew she had it as another time similar thing happened when I went to grab the vibrator) but I figured it was what ever that I suppose people keep stuff like that from past relationships? It was just kinda weird seeing it next to her vibrator that time.
But now, with all the used condoms I’m a little weirded out. I think it very well was a high school-kind of don’t want my mom seeing these in the trash-let me put them in here for now. However, it’s been 4 years and they’re still there. I feel like there’s a good shot she forgot about them, but also some weird thought in my head is wondering if it’s like some kinda sick memory shrine.
Either way it was pretty gross that I accidentally touched it. Feel like it’s just really unhygienic too.
When she came back to the room I didn’t say anything and just said I was going to use the bathroom (so I could wash my hands). I didn’t want her thinking I was snooping in her things and felt awkward about the whole thing.
It’s been a couple weeks and I’m not necessarily stressed about it, but it has popped up here and there in my thoughts. Idk how to handle the situation.
Edit: I forgot to add right now we are long distance-ish. She’s in grad school and this was at her actual home not her apartment at college.
Also I never had seen that part of the cabinet as it’s deep and usually the vibe sits on a lil quarter shelve at the top. I figured it fell down to the part where I found the condoms.
I initially thought they were a few unopened boxes as an always be prepared thing.
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Youve never seen that box and condoms in your 2 years of being together? And the used condom being there?
Even if the condoms exp date is 2023 they could still have been used recently. Its not like condoms dont work after that, just more risk of breaking due to drying out.
If the used condom had any “juice” in it. Its 100% not 2 years old, that would just be mold.
And if it was just an unused but open condom it would dry out to the point of being like a stiff rubber thing that you could tear apart like if it was a fried peice of beacon.
Confront her, she probably has cheated on you.
To be honest, it’s perfectly reasonable to be weirded out by the fact there are 4 year old used condoms in her night table. You ideally have to believe they were just stuffed in there after sex quickly to hide them, and she just forgot about them. Which is exactly what you said yourself.
I wouldn’t make yourself crazy thinking this is some sort of sick memory shrine. Unless you have a legitimate reason to believe she’s not over her ex based on everything you’ve learned over the last two years, then your only assumption should be that it was a mistake. And yes, it was gross, and yeah, it’s unhygienic, but you’ll be ok.
You can go one of two ways here; first, you could just let it go. I truly don’t believe you have anything to worry about so at the end of the day, big picture, there’s no issue. However, second, you know, you stumbled upon this innocently (if we’re to believe you, and we have no reason not to). In saying that, it would also be perfectly fine to tell her exactly what happened and what you came upon. You could just frame it from a grossness (in as nice a way as possible) perspective, as opposed to framing it as a concern about her feelings towards him. Something like “hey, I’m sorry I didn’t bring this up the other day, but I guess I was a little taken aback. Anyway, I was reaching in to grab your vibrator, and instead ended up grabbing some used condoms from back in the day. I’m sure they’re old, and I’m not bringing this up making an issue out of it, but it’s kind of gross, so you should probably throw them out.” Because really, she should. Good luck.
Edit: I saw someone else immediately jumped to cheating and used the argument about you hadn’t seen this over two years. I think that’s a fair point in general, but I’m operating under the context that you’ve never looked in there that deep before and this was the first time. If you’ve looked in there before and never saw them, then I’m entirely with the other person. If not, then I stand by what I said.
I’m sure she would of had more of a “i gotta get rid of all this” feeling if it was from cheating. Maybe it was from her solo use. Or maybe really old. Id start with the least accusatory first. Maybe even just check a few more times over the weeks. But mostly just have to ask.
Who the hell keeps mementos like that?
If the condom moved like a condom/was pliable (wet) it is not old.
Gross lol, it’s either a kink or she forgot. Either way, I’d ask her.
This is super weird. I would bring it up either way and just see what she says. I get she might have forgotten but that’s still super weird if we combine it with the shrine vibe it’s giving off with the pics etc. but what’s super weird is that there are multiple boxes of condoms. Are they all used? Only some?
That’s nasty
Confront her and update us
She completely forgot about it (and remember it would have been the guy taking off condoms and stashing them back there). Throw them out, forget about it.