So my fiancé’s (36m) ex (39f) uses their daughter (7f) to ask him questions, like what he is doing, why is he doing that, to drop off water, vegetables, fruit, toys etc. I like that he is there for his daughter if she needs anything and I love that he helps when he can on top of the child support. What concerns me is how she gets their daughter to call asking for all of this instead of just texting him herself. I’m not a parent, so I (29f) don’t know if that is normal parenting so I’d thought I’d ask here. My question being is it normal for a parent to use their kids to ask the other parent questions?
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Oh yeah, classic parenting move — “Ask your dad if he remembered the [insert thing she could’ve texted herself].” Been there. At one point, I felt like I was co-parenting with a 6-year-old secretary.
Thing is, kids aren’t postmen. It might seem harmless, but over time it kinda teaches them to carry emotional packages that aren’t theirs. Not saying it’s a red flag… but maybe a yellow one waving really enthusiastically.
Are you sure the kid isn’t instigating these conversations? “What are you doing? Why are you doing that? Can you bring me my Barbie? Can you bring me my water bottle? Can you bring me an apple?” are all normal questions for a kid her age.
She might just be missing her dad and using the requests to see him. I seriously doubt his ex wants him showing up.