Elderly father being abused by mentally ill wife and not allowed to talk to his family – what can I do?

Location: Texas
Location: New Jersey

My dad is in his late 70s and has been married to his second wife for 13 years. They live in Texas and myself and my siblings live in different states. I am in NJ. Because of this we don’t see my dad and his wife often – maybe 10 times in the last 10 years.

His wife can be social, generous and a reasonable person to interact with, but she also can flip very quickly into a a completely different personality where she goes into a angry rage. I have witnessed these rages along with many other people in my family and some of my dad’s friends.

She will physically attack my dad when he is sleeping or getting ready to go to bed and fly into a rage. Her outbursts can last anywhere from 1-3 hours. It sounds crazy to type this but no one has ever reported these incidents to the police. His wife is now in her 60s and never uses a weapon in these attacks so she’s not physical harming him other than the slapping. Everyone has always dealt with her outbursts by separating them and trying to get her to calm down. My dad told me that she has called the police during two of these attacks at their home and had the police take him to a hotel. He was unable to leave himself because she hid his keys.

Last week we were on a family vacation together, she had an outburst that woke up a house with 12 people in it, including young grandchildren. We finally called the police and there was a report made. Because of this, she is forbidding my dad to talk to any of his children or grandchildren. As the incident was “our fault”.

My dad now has to call us secretly when she is sleeping and can’t stay on the phone long and can only give yes or no responses.

Is there anything I can legally do to get her to get psychiatric help? My dad said he was going to divorce her but now he’s flipped sides and said he can’t leave her because she will blackmail him and “blow up his life”. I think he is an abused person and doesn’t have the mental strength to leave her.

I just want to be able to have a relationship with my dad in these last years he’s alive and for him to be able to know his grandchildren.