Elderly Temple Visitor Crossing Boundaries – Is This Normal or Creepy? (Need Advice)

Hi, I (F, early 20s) really need your help understanding whether I’m overthinking this or if I should be worried. I’m emotionally shaken and unsure of how to handle the situation.

I’m a regular visitor at a local temple. There’s an elderly man (probably in his late 70s or 80s) who is also a regular there. He isn’t a priest, but he participates a lot – sings bhajans, leads aarti, and has a friendly, goofy personality that everyone respects. Naturally, I always saw him as a kind, spiritual elder.

Our interaction started with him simply telling me the temple schedule or bhajan events. Eventually, he asked for my number so he could keep me updated on temple timings. I agreed, assuming he was being helpful and respectful.

Soon, he started texting me daily “Good morning” and “Good night” messages. I used to reply politely. One day, he sent a picture of a cup of tea and I responded with a random emoji. He asked why I reacted that way, and I replied that I don’t drink tea. His response was: “Oh, that’s why your skin is so shiny.” That felt weird, but I brushed it off.

After that, he started asking me what time I’d be at the temple. If I told him, he’d wait outside and then enter only when I did. This became a routine. When I stopped telling him my timing, he still somehow waited outside and walked in with me.

One day, he left the temple early, didn’t do aarti, and the next day messaged me asking if I was angry with him – implying that my anger had made him leave early. I said no, but he continued this “Are you angry with me?” line every single day. When I stopped replying, he sent long emotional messages until I told him I was just busy. He replied, “Thank god, I thought you were upset with me.”

Another time, he gave me prashad wrapped in a notebook with rubber bands. When I returned it, he unnecessarily held my wrist while taking the rubber band – something that made me feel very uncomfortable.

I told him again that I wasn’t well and was sleeping late, so I wasn’t responding. But when I didn’t visit the temple due to my period, he messaged me again:

“Are you angry with me? Should I change my time of visit? I told you to take care of yourself – you don’t eat or sleep properly. If you don’t come tomorrow, I won’t come either.”

I didn’t respond. Then every day, he started giving me missed calls after temple hours. Eventually, he changed his own temple schedule and kept saying “Please come, I’ll wait for you.”

6 days later, my brother visited the temple, and this man approached him. He questioned him about me, asking why I hadn’t come, and even said he needed my help with a “company project” (which makes no sense). He was clearly trying to create a reason to talk to me again.

I never spoke to him beyond small temple-related greetings. But when I’d leave the temple, he’d walk beside me and say things like “I can teach you bhajan in 15 minutes – but not here, because the priest and others might think wrong about me.” He also badmouthed other people in front of me, which no one else knows about.

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Now that my cycle is over, I want to resume going to the temple. But I’m honestly scared and confused. I’ve thought about confronting him, even slapping him, but I don’t want to create a scene. My family also visits this temple, and I don’t want them to feel uncomfortable.

So here’s my question:

• Am I right to feel that this man is creepy and manipulative, or am I misjudging because of his age?

• How do I go back to the temple and feel safe again without engaging with him?

• Should I confront him, or just ignore him?

• Would it help to tell the priest or some trusted elders?

• I feel gross, watched, and manipulated. I need clarity – and your advice.