ELI5 What is ‘weaponized empathy’?

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In terms of relationships/friendships, what is weaponized empathy?

Comments

  1. PflGlace Avatar

    I use my understanding of others to manipulate them to my benefit or them negatively. It’s my greatest gift

  2. tolgren Avatar

    It’s when you use claims of empathy to make people do things that are against their best interests.

    “I’ll kill myself if you leave me.” is an extreme example. The correct answer is “OK, goodbye.” But that’s also the MEAN answer. So most people won’t do it.

  3. HERKFOOT21 Avatar

    The simple definition is “manipulation of emotional responses”

    Basically you can use people’s emotions to get the reactions you want. Like in politics, you can claim something that isn’t true that then gets people all rallied up and reacting the way you want.

    For example, you can write a fake false paper that claims that vaccines cause autism on kids. This then can often rally up mothers who believe it, and because they have little ones that they would never want their kids to suffer from, they can believe that their kids should never get any vaccines because they have so much empathy for their children. It’s great they have empathy for their kids, and don’t want them to suffer, but then they end up suffering because they didn’t get the vaccine.

    It can also be at a personal level. You may get to know someone who is a pretty nice caring empathetic person who helps people out when they need it. You then create a fake situation where you don’t really need the help, or you do, but you use and abuse the situation. For example you’re short on money, you just lost your job. You’re mother in law is the nicest person on earth and she helps send you money while you’re unemployed. You realistically only need $3,000 but you tell her $5,000. Or you don’t even need the money because you have a ton of savings, but you lie and say you do anyway. You’re weaponizing her empathy and essentially “stealing” from her because you actually don’t need it, and are just using her.

  4. needzbeerz Avatar

    It’s the idea that a person or group can manipulate others for specific political reasons using ostensibly compassionate or empathetic motivations to hide the true goal.

  5. atomicsnarl Avatar

    Do what I say or you’re making me cry! Do you want me to be miserable? It’s your fault then!

    Backwards reasoning used to make you co-dependent and subject to their whims. If you buy into it, you’re their tool.

    They’re relying on the social contract idea of not causing hurt to others. Some times you just have to let people get hurt, emotionally or otherwise. You can be your brother’s keeper, but never be their doormat.

  6. cloisteredsaturn Avatar

    It’s basically a form of emotional blackmail, where they use empathy as a weapon to manipulate you into doing what they want, usually staying an abusive/toxic situation or letting them back into your life after you’ve cut them off.

    Source: my mother used it all the time on me as I was growing up and into adulthood

  7. RobertSF Avatar

    The term “weaponized empathy” is not used in psychology. It was invented and is used by the political right wing as a cause for today’s social ills and, of course, a thing to oppose. Mediocre white men, like Elon Musk, have even gone as far as to say that empathy is a flaw.

    For example, they explain, we have a homeless problem because we are too nice to the homeless. We even have places where they can get free meals! They say that encourages people to stop working and wander the street in rags. If we were instead cruel to them, they insist, the homeless would snap out of it and go get jobs.

    It’s the same logic with drug addiction, mental illness, crime, single parenthood. Millions of people whom Elon Musk considers worthless take advantage of society’s empathy to act anti-socially with impunity (and this is what is called “projection”).