I was married to another female for 8 years. After our recent divorce Im exploring guys more. And terrified I can’t give a good BJ.
Well, after giving my guy head for the third time, I was exhausted. He told me I can stop and afterwards said he had never seen someone throwing their whole body into it- laughing – that it looked like I was on a roller coaster. I told him I haven’t given head in so long and he said “it shows”, continuing to jerking his body around I guess like I did (what felt like mocking). I felt I was going good with it.
But now I feel so embarrassed, and that was my biggest fear getting back together with men again. It’s awful hearing and feeling this.
How do I deal? feel the embarrassment and move through the emotion? Tell him how I feel made fun of? ….
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Comments
He doesn’t sound like a very nice person. Nobody should make fun of you during intimacy. That’s a really vulnerable time and that’s not fair of him to do that to you
That dude is a jerk.
Sounds like you need to move on from him! If they can’t understand and want to mock it’s not going to get better with other things you aren’t perfect with
Tell him to suck his own dick next time!
Fuck this guy, not literally
there isn’t a lot of context. if he’s the type to tease you about things all the time, there’s a chance he was just trying to poke fun. you can just as easily tell him you don’t appreciate the feedback if it isn’t going to actually help you do better. it does sound like he gave you a useful piece of info tho. no need to use your whole body bc it tires you out faster
That’s unfortunate he may be a nice But he also sounds like an ass. Im all for reading but knowing you’re fresh out of an LTR same sex relationship you’d think he would be more sensitive to you being a little behind the ball.
Communicating with sex is pramount and a lot of men are just really bad at telling their partner what they want and TEACHING them how to get there. Tell him to speak up sooner and be willing to help you learn or you’ll just stop doing it.
This is honestly so mean even if he’s just the type of guy who likes to tease and joke about stuff in general. You don’t have to be trying to be malicious to come across as a dick. 100% feel like you should tell him how you feel, because sometimes people don’t realize they’re being assholes when trying to be funny.
The way he reacts to it is worth paying attention to though, either he realizes he was being rude and tries to make you feel less crappy, or he doubles down and makes it clear he’s actually just a dick
To me most men are happy with BJ and could help you with a few well meaning suggestions. This guy is a dick.
So much hpv around, and no test for men, so they can have a high risk hpv virus and not know it. There are no symptoms or tests for men!! I would never risk throat cancer for anyone.
Oof what a jerk. So not the way to communicate about sex.
Let him go down on you and then fart in his face. See if he still likes jokes then.
I can’t imagine it’s too hard to find a guy willing to coach you to throat goat greatness
That’s not nice. As you navigate, please understand that he doesn’t represent ALL men. And if he’s left you feeling insecure, like anything, you can google it! Lol I personally wouldn’t give him another shot at the disrespect. The right man will walk you thru, lovingly..
This guy is lame, also watch porn.
Block him and never ever have sex with someone who mocks you, they don’t deserve blowjobs or anything else.
Find someone who will guide you (nicely) and encourage you.
Plenty of men out there who would be so much nicer.
Don’t be with guys like that, be with a guy that will be supportive of you regardless of how well you give head.
Some people have no tact at all. He should have never went there. If you were doing something he didn’t like, there’s a respectful way to communicate that. He should be showing some grace considering I’m sure he is aware you were married to a woman for the better part of a decade.
You should get a different boyfriend. He is rude.
This is really shitty of him.
Hey- so agree with all the other commenters but would like to add one thing. You were doing him a favor and trying to provide him with pleasure. If his response was to mock you and not show gratitude, that could be a very bad sign. Maybe not, but could be (probably is).
Good partners will teach you all of the things they love and like in healthy, non forceful, non mean, non mocking ways! This guy is a jerk.
I came up with a line for this several years ago. I said this to a man:
“When people say, ‘Wow, what a dick!’ they aren’t talking about your penis.”
And that’s what I thought while reading your post: Wow, what a dick!
Never give him a BJ again
The first time I was ever with a man he told me I was handling his dick “like a joystick for a video game” after we finished well he finished, I did not I never texted him back after that.
Ghost this ass hat.
Dudes an idiot. I think you dodged some major flags. I didn’t know there was a bad blowjob tho. Don’t give up but please give up the guy.
Do NOT suck his dick anymore!
Drop him, immediately. In such a vulnerable and intimate moment, he’s to make you feel empowered, sexy, and strong. Yet, he’s tearing you down, how childish can one get. Drop him and move on. A real man would’ve kissed you, had you lay back and ensure you got off. Don’t settle.
Why would you let that dick in your mouth? There’s PLENTY more out there that will happily take what they can get, and give you nice appropriate suggestions on how to make them enjoy it more. The audacity.
Enthusiasm, no teeth, eye contact – all you need 🙂
You met a rare dude. I’ve never said a BJ sucked even if she used a ton of teeth. Eventually I will give some pointers but not like this.
No more sexy time for him then. From this day forward you are asexual until you leave his sorry arse.
Make fun of his cum face. I bet it’s awesome.
It’s honestly cruel. Head was never something that was super fun for me but I did bc I liked that they enjoyed it. I had a partner comment on my appearance when I did it to them and 13 years later I still despise it.
Like you on a rollercoaster is some evil work lmaooo
That being said the “it shows” bit is more mean spirited
Gotta wonder if he can take it the same way he dishes it out.
Tell him he got old man balls and that his shit look like a skin tag
This guy is a dick. Move on and find a good one to suck.
I get zero head from my wife. Ever. And most recently, she strait up said she could go the rest of her life without any physical affection.
All facts about my pathetic excuse of a marriage aside, your BF needs to appreciate what he’s got. I’ll take emotional intelligence and sensual affection and genuine love, over head any day.
Girl why tf would you go back to men???!!!!
I feel like maybe he was just being playful, but also mocking you obviously, however I feel like he didn’t mean to offend. Though idk this man so what do I know.
Watch a couple ammeter* porn vids of BJs, (more realistic then company based porn), or read a few articles.
I feel like theirs nothing wrong with putting your body into it though, but nothing wrong with doing some research to make you feel a little more comfortable and confident yourself.
I bet he didn’t even reciprocate
He’s the problem.
There’s nothing wrong with not performing perfectly sexually. I have had that issue along with most other people. A person who is worth giving access to your body to would explain respectfully and gently what they like and don’t like and give advice on how to improve. Not mock you.
Guess that the last BJ he’s getting.