I’m curious as its such a different way from how I experience the world.
Emotionally unavailable/avoidant men: what does sex mean to you and what do you feel during it, in general and about the woman?
r/AskMen
I’m curious as its such a different way from how I experience the world.
Comments
Absolutely nothing. It’s just a sexual impulse being satisfied.
Feels kind of similiar to eating something when you’re hungry.
As a single man who doesn’t want any commitments right now, when I do have sex, it doesn’t mean anything to me. It’s just me satisfying my sexual urges from a casual sex partner or a random hookup. I don’t have feelings for the women and post nut clarity kicks in which makes me not want to talk to her until I feel horny again.
for me,sex is my only emotional outlet.
Need to get off and hope they enjoy it.
With my FWBs it’s just a fun physical release. When I did relationships it was how I bonded with her.
I think I’m autistic and it is difficult to understand others emotions. It doesn’t mean that I don’t it’s just challenging. Sex from my perspective has its pleasures, A intimate bond is formed from it for me and sometimes it may strengthen it. I found it painful when I had to leave my partners because with sex they took a bigger part of me. The woman I form an attachment to and I’m always holding them in my kindest respect.
Unavailable, to you? Not attractive enough.
We feel absolutely nothing for you before during or after
Same thing emotionally unavailable avoidant women feel. 🤷♂️
Oh wow, I’m a man and I don’t think I’ve ever experienced this either, I’ve never been able to have sex without the intimacy and emotional component, even just pleasuring myself my mind usually goes to some kind of intimate and sensual fantasy rather then just thinking about the physical act itself.
No judgment for others that can thought, it would certainly make things less complicated.
Not all sex is the same. I’ve fucked many women in my life without them meaning a damn thing to me.
But I make love to my wife.
I am a fairly emotionally unavailable man. Got a lot going in my life and a lot of issues to sort out, so a relationship just isn’t on the cards for me at the moment.
Currently I have a sexual relationship with two people. My best friend, and a fuckbuddy.
With my fuckbuddy, it’s what you would expect. We have sex and then we leave. I like this person, but don’t really feel much else. It’s the basic act of having satisfying sex with an attractive woman.
With my best friend, it’s quite different. We have a bit of a strange relationship. We both care about each other very much. We talk every day. We do a lot of things that people in relationships do, but we both like it this way without being in a full blown relationship. Sex with her is an emotional, primal, healing experience. Being able to stare into her eyes and knowing this is my best friend in the whole world and she’s naked under me is a very unique and, honestly, amazing feeling. It’s a different feeling than having sex with a girlfriend.
it was literally the first time I felt actually accepted and trusted in a way that i could trust
I feel like I’m outside of the norm compared to other avoidants in this regard.
For me, sex is an extent of affection and emotional intimacy. I have a hard time having sex with someone that I don’t feel a connection to, at least to some degree. It doesn’t have to be love, but there needs to be something there.
You add that to my general problems of pulling away and feeling distant from people, and you got extremely frustrated women who “just want to have sex” and think there’s something wrong with them, when I don’t reciprocate.
It makes things messy and complicated.
I am not a man so I don’t know the answer but women to women, avoid having sex with these sort of men. Pun intended.
Let’s get something out there – the man does not have to be emotionally unavailable or emotionally avoidant to not be emotionally tied to sex.
Not do you have to be a man/male.
Some people are able to separate sex and emotion. Some are not.
I no longer get them, can count on 1 hand how many times ive had it, the realiztion that its something annoying as theres nothing i can do to fix it, once i was used too many times the whole sex drive vanished, no point in it being there as was totally pointless. I still understand whats attractive, only my body doesnt care about it.
Physical satisfaction
I used to be emotional and attached. Now it’s just going through the motions day after day.