This would be more understandable if I was playing every day. Ever since I moved in with her over a year ago I might play an hour a week if not every other week, and sometimes less than that. She has kids and I don’t have a dedicated space so its very rare for me to have time to play. When the opportunity comes she is always telling me to play and have fun and I deserve it. She says she wants me to have that time and she can watch her girl shows. But the second the playstation beeps on she is doing the absolute most to distract me. Sometimes its cute but sometimes I just want to scream and ask for one hour to do my thing. We could be laying around alll day and I mean all day. Scrolling on our phones watching shows and nothing. But when I turn the game on all of a sudden shes horny. Every. Single. Time. I wont even be on for a minute. And if I ever say something like maybe later it turns into “what you would rather play a video game then have sex with me?”. No, not at all but why is it always during my time. I try and initiate at different times if I know I might have a chance to play later but shes not in the mood. But she certainly is the second I get into a game. I’m not a serious gamer I only play when my friend from home is on and we just play some cod and catch up. So once this starts happening I either have to disappoint my gf or disappoint my friend. And a lot of times my friend has to move things around just to make time too so it would be disrespectful to him to bail.
I am not complaining that my gf wants to have sex with me but there is certainly something going on there and I hate to say it it makes me resent the sex a little bit. If I give in then I wind up in bed with her for the rest of the night and I am just laying there feeling a little played. I don’t see how she can be jealous of me on the game it is so rare. Does she get off watching me squirm with my decision making process? I honestly think she thinks I think its hot or something but I honestly feel it is kind of immature.
Oh and if I am able to avoid the sex then her stomach hurts and she needs me to get her every medicine under the sun, one by one. Not just oh can you grab tums and an advil and fill my water. Its 4 different trips and I am can’t pause the game so it just ruins the whole situation for me and my friend.
Like I said it is rare so I don’t see it as something that harms our relationship but I am just trying to figure out what about me playing a quick hour of video games with my friend either turns her on or hates it so much where she has to do whatever it takes to get me off of it. Makes me feel like she doesn’t even want sex she’s just using it to get what she wants.
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An open and honest communication about the issue, followed by boundaries. If she can’t respect a boundary for a single hour a week, can you imagine marrying that? She wants you at her beck and call.
do you have your own room to game in with a door that locks?
Talk to her bro!
“Hey, I’ve noticed a pattern. Every time I play video games you’re suddenly horny, and you ask if I’d rather play a video game than have sex. But when I initiate sex at any other time, you’re not interested. I have to bail on my friend who set off time to play with me and honestly, it’s been making me feel a bit upset. I need to talk through this with you, can you help me understand what’s going on?
Late 20s female here!
You should tell your girlfriend that you need some time to do the stuff that you like, try having a calm talk with her. Tell her that you love having sex with her but sometimes you need some time to yourself. You’re allowed to have your own interests and hobbies.
My husband loves to game too and he games multiple times a week, I’m fine with this as long as he still puts aside some time for me. I’m also a gamer myself so I use the time to play games of my own or do other things that I like. That is how a healthy relationship works, you both need some times to yourself and also to do stuff together.
Tell her what you told us, effective communication is important.
This is slightly underhanded but in your position I’d see what happens if you start something that’s single player so she’s not asking you to choose between her and catching up with a friend.
She’s clearly reacting to something and finding the shape of it is the first step towards finding a setup where everyone is getting at least most of what they want.
Yeah, you just need to have a straight up conversation about it. Tell her that you very rarely get to play and it’s like 1 hour a week… During that time, that’s what you are doing and everything else will wait. You’re only asking for 1 hour to yourself and you don’t think that’s too much. You can tell her that when she interrupts the time, you feel disrespected… you understand that sometimes things come up, but unless it’s an emergency — that’s your hour
What she’s doing is typical manipulation. It’s like your attention is elsewhere and it drives them up a wall… Last GF would always interrupt. I’d be by myself and starting to watch something, and she’s been quiet allll day but as soon as I’m watching something or playing the game, it’s time to have a long thorough conversation. At times, I’ll pause and we’ll talk… and then the talking is over, nothing for like 30 seconds to a minute, I unpaused and lo and behold, something else she needs to discuss… This can happen a dozen times in a row until I literally give up
Had this happen with multiple women… and my Mom even does it. WTF.
Use it to your advantage lmfao
Some women don’t fw you having fun it’s just how it is
This is only a little bit sarcastic, but have you tried going to play video games when you would really like to have sex?
If I would like to pet the cat, I know that calling it doesn’t work, but opening up the laptop and surfing the internet will mean that there will be a cat on my keyboard within 5 minutes.
The PlayStation isn’t making her horny, she is using it like a game to see what you like more, gaming or her. I would tell her hey, I want to play some video games, before I do, are you up for sex?
Turn on the game earlier, have sex, play the game with ur friend later
Update us
I’m sure your friend doesn’t mind waiting a couple of minutes lol but on a serious note, I agree with what other ppl said. Let her know how you feel and that you enjoy gaming for an hour or so every once in a while and you’d like to be able to do that without any distractions
Nothing new here. I don’t game, but I play an instrument. I swear my wife is jealous of that horn, because she will interupt whenever I try to play it.
She wants your undivided attention, she is competing with your 1 hour of gaming, buy a lock for the door, put on your headphones and try to ignore the banging and screaming
it could be a kink a little bit like “head while he plays video games” or something. Doesn’t give her the right, but seems like you could ask her to communicate the WHY behind this behavior
She’s conditioned by that beep to turn on her machine. Allocate extra time. Do her thing. Then do your thing.