Hi all,
Maybe I just need a place to vent or hear from others. If you have advice or help to offer Iām all for it. Iām 38 years old. I have high functioning autism. The past 7 years seemed relatively uneventful.
The past 1.5 years have just been a constant pile of issues one after the other.
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Someone rear ended my car causing a bunch of wasted time and I have pain still in my neck. Headaches with insurance.
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A dear cat passes away suddenly. Sad for the cat, sad for my wallet.
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Wife got a flat tire. Sad for my wallet.
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Just randomly found out I have mold in my attic due to a disconnected B Vent at some point in the past. New roof was installed in 2021. Roofer and inspector hired to review and all think itās the b vent that caused the moisture. Insurance will only cover drywall, insulation and painting. I have to cover remediation. Sad for my wallet and stressed. Donāt know how expensive this is going to get. Siding damage on outside of house ā¦ remediation company doesnāt think roof has to be replaced and sheathing can be treated with spray and killz. Have no idea how much drywall or sidewalls theyāll want to tear down.
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All of the above happening while I just started a new job and made a career pivot. Good and stressful. Worried about the above getting in the way of work. Iām having ti learn how to do my new job which is entirely different from past jobs in my field. Moved to sales from post sales support.
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Just got diagnosed with muscular dystrophy in the last 2 weeks. I donāt have the strength to DYI a lot of repairs.
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Today, just found my fence in the back yard pushed a little down a hill by about a foot detaching one link to the fence. Soā¦ not sure what thatās about yet. Could be tree roots.
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Found an additional area of siding that may need replacement from moisture in attic today.
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Falling behind on yard work due to all of the above.
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Replaced dryer due to failing dryer.
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Wifeās car getting up there in age and nervous.
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Drivers license expired had to go to dmv and wait 2 hours for a renewal during the middle of my work day. Wouldnāt allow online renewal.
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More doctors meetings coming up this week to discuss my diagnosis of MD. Tons of blood testing and other testing over the past 3 months.
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Oil change due on my car.
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Got diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in December positive is I dropped 14 lbs since and Iām in no diabetes range for blood sugar now. Have completely changed my diet.
Iām feeling anxious, depressed and like I have an atlas on my shoulders.
I donāt even have kids and for the past month Iāve had barely any personal time. Iām so stressed and the world feels like itās crashing down and Iām just trying to keep everything from falling apart. Iām feeling immense financial pressure. Iām in the Pacific Northwest / Washington state so everything is incredibly expensive. I donāt have any connections to construction guys who can do things for a more affordable price. It feels like I canāt even keep up with how fast things are coming especially working full time.
Edit: forgot to mention wifeās dad has been in and out of hospital and heās in bad shape so Iām hearing about that.
Vent over ā¦
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Sorry this is happening to you. As forest gump once said ālifeās like a box of chocolates, you aināt never know whatcha gonna getā.
On the bright side it’s got to get better at some point so you have that to look forward to
Other than the MD, this feels like a pretty standard amount of adversity for a couple to experience in 1.5 years. The only fatality was a cat, and everything else are minor inconveniences and repair expenses.
If “two hours waiting at the DMV” is your bar for a pile on, I’m willing to wager you’d be able to come up with a longer list of good things over the same period.
Learn some coping skills and build some mental resilience.
Thatās shitty man, goes without saying but prioritize yourself and your family first and every thing else (vehicle and house problems) will all fall into place. I find that when I get overwhelmed I focus on one thing at a time (what I can actually affect) and before you know it, youāll have made significant progress. It also helps me to look back on the progress Iāve made from time to time (the whole gratitude thing). I know you didnāt ask for advice but thatās just my two cents. Also, for some of the smaller house things, try Thumbtack (itās an app for hiring out work) or posting on gigs on Craigslist.
-a fellow PNW homeowner
Hey, I know how you feel. but nearly everything but your health are all just things that happen and would likely be minor road bumps at any other point in time.
My Brother passed away, I found out might be developing lung cancer from environmental exposure during my military deployments, also had developed asthma. Of course all those normal things have also gone wrong and feel much more impactful as a result. I think it’s hard to do, but you just need to shift your perspective of everything and recognize that in a vacuum they are not really that big a deal.
If #3 on this list is your wife got a flat tire, you need some persepctive dude. Most of this is normal stuff, like changing your oil? Man, come on. If this is sincere then please get some professional help.
The only actual shitty thing on here is your cat dying which you joked about anyway.
I’m not trying to start a pecker measuring contest, but in a 1.5 year span my dad died, my mom died, my aunt died, my wife’s granny died, we rehomed our dogs to a very bad person and they went to the pound, the company I worked for was sold, the next company restructured and nearly folded, all right after I started grad school and bought a fixer upper that needed a ton of work. While also saddled with my mom’s house that was in knock down condition in another state and the only family member capable of running the estate.
So…having a shitty 18 months? Perspective. You actually have a pretty good and easy life from the sounds of it.
Pretty much everything here (including your cat dying and your diagnosis of MD) gets one line, but the ‘mold in my attic due to a disconnected B Vent’ gets a whole paragraph.
I’m sorry, but that is strange lol.