After lurking for years, I guess it’s finally time I post something. Create post page looks funny, hopefully this is the right subreddit…
Anyways, I’m a 29YO guy from NL, some where north where not too much happens. I used to smoke weed for about 4 years (long story, fully quit two months). I broke contact with most of my toxic friends two years ago and ended up with two good ones — and my amazing girlfriend of six years.
From the outside, my life should be excellent. I have a big house even older dream of, solid salary, car, my finances are in check, a loving family, no kids to stress over. Life should feel good, right?
Well it’s not. Not even close. There’s this constant emptiness I feel Let’s start with the anxiety: every conversation feels like I’m terrified of screwing up. I know it doesn’t show, but there’s this inner panic that’s ruining quality of life. I’m social, but I can’t seem to build real, meaningful connections with anyone. It’s like I’m an NPC, like I’m always just on the outside of something real.
Right now, I’m on a two-week break recovering from surgery. I can’t do sports for atleast three months, not that I did much in the first place but I’m trying. I just can’t seem to find enjoyment in it. I joined a “DMs open” Discord out of sheer loneliness, because there’s no game I enjoy playing solo, and most of my old gaming friends have had the same faith where my last two weeks playtime is 8hrs instead of 90. That’s not the problem, I’m craving human contact, but every attempt seems to fail. I waste most days just trying to fill the hours.
I want to be around people. I want to organise BBQs, small talk, laughs — anything. Instead, I find myself staring at my lawn, wondering what method I should Sudoku if time comes.
“Seek therapy” will be the first that comes to mind reading this, and that would be my advice anytime. Thing is — I tried. I spent three years bouncing between three different therapists. TL;DR: it never really clicked. It felt like nothing ever truly got moving, like I was spinning my wheels the whole time. I honestly don’t know how I’m going to make it through another week of recovery, only to go back to work and repeat this same cycle. I feel stuck. I don’t know what to do. I feel sorry for myself writing this and wasting your and my time, Im suppose to be sleeping two hours ago and feel like just another depressing redditor not worth anyones time. What advice do you have that could bring a bit of light to my problem?
Comments
You built everything right but it still feels hollow because comfort without connection is just quiet despair. Stop waiting to feel ready and throw yourself into real, messy human moments because that’s where life actually begins.
Start small. If you have an interest in something see if your town has events or clubs involving that or post in subreddits tailored to it. You’re looking for a “complete lifestyle change” but don’t put too much pressure on yourself and take things one step at a time. And be proud if each step because that’s one more than you made before. Build upon the small connections your make, and don’t get bogged down if they don’t pan out, there’s always time to try again.