Just trying to breathe a little so here I am. We have a landscaping project going on right now and we have researched and planned for a long time for today. MIL knows because FIL is here to help start(which is another story). She came bearing breakfast which I already knew was bad news. They are now both still here, 3 hours later, and have pointed out several things “wrong” about our house, and is now telling us there is no need to grade the yard(Which we have worked really hard to get it to the point of TODAY, which is to grade it)
I’m no landscaper so I can’t argue why I want it to be graded no matter what. But I also dont think I should have to argue that I simply want to grade my own lawn and they should go home. Sure, if I really don’t know why I am doing, so be it, I’d hire a landscaper. But they sure do not know what they are saying either.
I already had to see her yesterday and right now I just have no room to breathe. I want to leave my house to go for a walk or something but I don’t want them to destroy my yard either.
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Classic in-law move: invade, criticize, and pretend they know better. Just nod, smile, and secretly plot your escape. Your yard, your rules, no unsolicited landscape critics allowed.
“Thank you for your input. We’re going forward with our original plans.”
If they are not helping with said projects, how do they know about them?
And if they are helping, consider the cost of free help.
It is simply not worth it. Stop giving them
Info. Maybe tell them after the fact.
“It’s our home, our yard, and this is how we’re doing it.”
“Because that is what we want to do” is all they need to know.
After recently moving out of a rental house that had a poorly graded yard and porch I hated having to deal with the unwanted water puddles every time it rained. We lived on top of a hill but yet all the water would pool on our porch because of how it had been graded.
They’re not helping, they’re hijacking. Your project, your plan, no explanation needed. Sometimes the best boundary is a locked door and a “we’ve got it handled.”
“I’ll give your unsolicited opinion the consideration it deserves.”
Lesson learned. They just earned not learning about any home projects until they are completed.
Grading is usually recommended or required by the city to promote drainage and reduce flooding in yards.
I just thought I should give you reasoning, but you can’t reason with the unreasonable. It just gives them permission to argue.
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How is your husband reaction to his parents’ interference?
That sounds so frustrating. You’ve put in the work and planned carefully, and now they’re just barging in and trying to take over. It’s totally fair to want to do your own project your way without arguing or having them criticize everything. Maybe try setting a clear, polite boundary, something like, “We appreciate the help, but we want to finish this our way. Thanks for understanding.” And definitely take some time for yourself to recharge, even if that means stepping outside for a walk. You deserve that space.
Use your voice: “Why are you still here. Go home.”
Classic in-law invasion. They drop by “helping” but really just flex control. Honestly, grading your own yard isn’t a debate; it’s your damn yard. Sometimes you gotta be firm and tell them this isn’t their project to hijack. If they stick around, it’s on you to shut that down before your sanity gets graded away.
Next weekend go to theirs homding a clipboard and jot down all the things youd change or do better.
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