HEADED FOR SPLITSVILLE!!!
Earlier in the month, a blowout between my husband and I ensued after spending an evening w/ monster in law. She wanted to take us out for our anniversary (not on the same day).
The night started with a fake ass half-hug. We sat in icy silence while he was in the bathroom. She lavished him with compliments and conversation. Halfway through the meal she finally asked me what was new, then made a snarky comment after I shared an upcoming work achievement.
Husband and I drove home in silence as I was SEETHING. When we returned home, I tried to speak to him about my feelings and he immediately gave our “safe word” meaning he’s angry. He shut down and completely refused conversation, and I completely blew my stack at him. (Not OK either but at the end of my rope here).
This led to his usual running away and silent treatment for two days.
When we finally had the opportunity to discuss at couples counseling the next wk, he deflected every claim I made, defended MIL and told me I had misinterpreted her snarky comment at dinner. Basically DARVO’d the shit out of me. Then when I got upset, he blamed my anger as the source of our problems.
I straight up told him my feelings are valid and he’s enmeshed. All I ever wanted was for this woman to stop pressuring us to spend time with her and attend family events ALL of the damn time.
At counseling, he even blamed me that I’m the reason he’s not getting invited to as many family events anymore, because I often cancel or don’t go.
This man has made it clear that my feelings don’t matter, I’m not his #1, he doesn’t have my back and he will NEVER stand up to his precious mommy.
I have an appointment w/ an attorney next wk. Three counselors in two years couldn’t help us out of this mess. Can’t wait to hear the smear campaign she comes up with, even though her son is an alcoholic, emotionally abusive, mentally unstable MAN CHILD and this has been going on for YEARS! Tuh!