Let’s call them as N.
So me and N used to be friends, that was until my birthday where we had an argument and broke off. Unfortunately, both of us still belong in the same class, so avoiding them completely was impossible. Occasionally I would be chatting with others, she would come and drop comments about me in a subtle way – like how she says she won’t join if I’m there, and how she clicks her tongue and rolls her eyes whenever I pass by her. She did this for almost a year, since January. I considered her crazy since she’s practically acting like I’m her ex-lover but I have learnt to ignore her completely since I figured it’s not worth my time and energy.
It was until today, she suddenly apologised to me. She says she wants to fix our relationship and start over, she also apologised and said sorry. It really surprised me because she literally curses for my downfall under her breath everytime I’m within her presence. It hasn’t even been that long since she last cursed at me, but now she’s saying sorry all of a sudden?
I’m confused, I don’t know what to do. Did I misjudge them this whole time? Why did she apologize to me all of a sudden? What should I do? Should I accept the apology? Is it even sincere? I have no clue how to respond, help.
Comments
Bruh, ppl change, but they don’t flip like switches. She prob got some ulterior motive or smth, so keep ur guard up. Stay civil, don’t let her mess with ur feelings. N probs ain’t sincere, she just missed the drama. Stand ur ground, homie. U deserve better vibes. ✌️💯+1 for self respect.
Being a cynic, I feel like she is setting you up.
People can go through some terrible struggles that the rest of us are unaware of. Those struggles can lead people to behave in a way that they’re not proud of, and it’s possible this friend/ex-friend may be coming out of the other side and trying to mend bridges.
At the same time, that doesn’t excuse what they did and said, but it could be why she did it, and if she’s out of the other side it could be she wont do it again.
My advice would be to take it slow, much like you would rebuilding a romantic relationship that turned sour. Don’t let her all of the way back into your inner circle right away, and perhaps practice some emotional distance.
Maybe you can say something along the lines of
“I really appreciate your apology, and I would love to rebuild our friendship. It’s going to take me some time though. You said a lot of hurtful things and I know I can forgive it, but it’s going to take me some time. If you’re willing to be patient with me while I work through that I’d be happy to rebuild our friendship with you.”
And make sure you take time. Don’t let her try to rush you, and don’t do her any favours that will take up a large amount of your time or cost you money, she needs to re-earn her place as your friend again. This doesn’t mean putting her through the ringer, but time will prove if her apology and her desire to rebuild that friendship is genuine.
Good luck
Mm idk. I don’t trust it
Sometimes people change their mindset, have ‘ah ha’ moments, or take time to reflect upon their actions and vow to do better. And a vow to do better doesn’t mean automatic perfection, they still have a lot of learning and growing to do. It’s okay to say ‘no thanks’ and it’s okay to proceed cautiously. I like to ask myself how I would hope the situation would be handled for me, should I be in their shoes. Good luck op 💗
She apologized because she wants something from you. Leopards don’t change their spots they just hide them
“You broke my trust. While I thank you for the apology, I don’t want you near me. If you want to be my friend again, you must work hard on rebuilding that trust, though I don’t know if I can trust you again. “
Flipping like a switch? Sounds like a trap
Just say “yeah we’re cool” and continue to interact with her as little as possible
It’s perfectly fine to be cautious and you have no obligation to be all chummy with this person right away. You take it slow in this situation. Communicate this to them as well that, if fixing the relationship you have with them is in your interest too, you are not wanting for things to end up like last time and you feel like you two can move forward but that you need some distance before you get close again.
Sometimes people have a realization that they’ve been an asshole to people and its causing their relationships to be strained. People grow. Not often but it happens.
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The thing you said about her cursing you two days ago is weird. Feel it out however you think is best but dont do anything retaliatory and keep your guard up for a little.
I’m assuming you’re a teenager so things are a little different from how my circles behave but personally I would just be like “hey thanks for apologizing, but I dont understand why now?” And let her work it out in front of you until you think you have a better understanding.
Of course you accept the apology and then you see what happens next.
There’s no point in keeping bad feelings going – there’s enough of that in the world.
I wouldn’t trust that BS. She already showed you who she is. Don’t be a doormat.
Take her off your kill list
I would accept the apology. Not every thing is black and white, if your harbor no bad feeling jus let it go
Talk to her. Sometimes, small arguments escalate into the kind of cold war your friend was having with you. It looks like she now realizes that this went too far over something small that didn’t matter in the end and she wants a reset. Most people have difficulty accepting that they were wrong and apoligizing, so you should at least hear her out with an open mind.
I wouldnt accept her into my life again
Apologizing to people way later in life is totally fine as people can change and grow and realize they were wrong
But the fact that she behaved immaturely for quite some time shows me that she is just not a decent individual, she did it on purpose
I have made mistakes in the past but my intention wasnt to be bad, hers was
I rekindled with an ex once
Not universal but it sucked ass, it was great but in the long run it did nothing but give me more reasons to not be with her.
Based on her cursing you out and switching up so fast, that’s not someone I’d want in my life, so take time and think about that.
Think with your head, not your heart. I listened to my heart and I realize that while it wasn’t wrong, my head was screaming the whole time. U gotta weigh everything out
You can accept an apology and say thank you. I hope we both can move forward. and still keep your guard up. Just be nice but standoffish. If she says something say just need to take it slow for both of us to build that trust and respect back. So you are not just putting it off on her to put her defense back up. Just away with words. Always actions speak louder then words. You both will never be close again.
There maybe a reason for her to want to be your friend. Like she is having a problem getting back in the group of friends
i think it all comes down to what you want. It’s probably unlikely you’ll learn why she has changed her tune so suddenly, but if it makes your life in class more bearable it makes sense to accept the apology. You can still protect yourself by keeping things light and impersonal, while no longer having to put up with vitriol. “Thanks, i appreciate your apology” is good enough, you don’t owe anything more
See if she only wants you around for some task or to buy something, make sure to filter that out
If someone’s an asshole and then suddenly change out of nowhere, I expect they want something
I’d forgive her but wouldn’t forget , I wouldn’t be “hanging” out with her anymore either.
Once a bitch always a bitch !!!
Tell her to go to hell, most likely she’s playing games
I have apologized to almost everyone I have wronged or forgave everyone that wronged me. I wouldn’t want to be in the same room as them ever again but I got the burden off my chest.