Recently, my (22M) ex gf (21F) broke up. It wasn’t a messy break up or anything, but it still happened.
Two weeks ago, shortly after our break up, she called me and told me she was spotting and freaking out.
Last time we had sex was about 5-7 days before I broke up with her. She was on the pill. It was on her period. And I didn’t finish inside. She told me after our breakup, she immediately stopped taking the pill. I told her everything was fine, the spotting was from the stopping birth control suddenly, and that’s all. We got two tests, took them, and she was clear.
Today, she called me and told me that her period is around four days late, had white discharge yesterday, and took two tests: one positive and one negative. The positive one came back extremely faint it’s hard to see and the other had nothing.
She’s not too worried, but I’m still scared. I’m a college senior graduating upcoming fall. I don’t have a career yet. I’m not with her anymore. This can’t be happening to me. I mean, my father had me stupidly young at 24. How could I be even stupider and have a child at 22?
She’s scheduled a clinic test to be performed to validate any results. I’m scared, but not as scared as the first time she called me.
Just needed to vent.
Comments
Good luck.
Next time, bring your own protection and avoid this headache all together.
Has she had sex with anyone else besides you? You might want to order a DNA test to make sure the kid is yours, if she turns out to be pregnant.
Before you shoulder that responsibility, considering you two aren’t even together anymore, it would be best to make sure the child is truly yours.
Good luck. I would have a candid conversation with her though about what you both want to do if she is pregnant. And how to proceed if you both want different things.
“This can’t be happening to me” lmao
As someone who has a child and is currently pregnant , by the time ur period is 4 days late u get a SUPER positive line. Not a negative test by that point: mine was positive 10 days after ovulation and period dont come for another FIVE days. HCG levels are doubling by that point enough to show a definite positive.
I wouldn’t worry too much ! Maybe she wants to get back w u. U would for sure know by this point along passed a missed period — so don’t worry !!
If she stopped BC after the breakup she won’t have a regular cycle for a while.
The discharge is normal the spotting is normal.
She is 99,9% not pregnant (0,0% for bad luck on BC)
She took two different kinds. A blue dye one and a pink one. The blue one has an EXTREMELY faint line that is more grey (I can’t see blue) and the pink one came out completely white and negative. I’ve been looking online that pink are more reliable than the blue ones, as the blue one could be an evaporation line. After looking online at similar tests, it looks very similar.
Maybe I’m just trying to trick myself into peace of mind…
It sounds as if you’re both in agreement to not have a child right now. Support her until she’s in the clear: a pregnancy test won’t have an accurate result until after when she’s supposed to have her period.
If she IS pregnant, then your role is to support her in deciding what to do next. My personal opinion is to terminate the pregnancy as quickly as possible, but of course that would be a choice that you would need to make together.
For next time, you (and she) should know that sperm can stay alive for a few days in the womb. Stopping the pill immediately after breaking up was irresponsible of her.
Best of luck to you both –
Making sure it’s actually yours seeing as you broke up would be smart and you need to protect yourself just in case. A lot of people just take someone’s word for it and end up fathering someone else’s child because they’re conveniently there until they’re not needed anymore.
You also need to be very ready to do the right thing should it be yours, remember she might as scared as you are and until/ if you know otherwise you should be there for her.
IF she’s actually pregnant.
I’m sorry that you’re going through this.
Just in case she isn’t actually pregnant, for the love of god, don’t fuck her again.
It sounds to me like she’s trying to force contact. She was on birth control and she stopped so her periods should no longer be regular (you can be regular off the pill but 4 days later than expected would be in the range of “on time.”) Discharge is not a pregnancy symptom. Spotting after you stop the pill is normal too. I wouldn’t have bothered an ex with literally any of these bodily updates. I’d block her as soon as you get the confirmed negative because she’s going to keep trying to manipulate.
If she is pregnant get a paternity test and if it’s yours be a real father. Even consider being together if you two can make it work
Most likely she’s lying and attention seeking to try and get back with you. My advice is not to panic and certainly don’t get back with her. Time will tell and most likely she’s not – even if she claims to be, ask to see a photo of her holding a positive test and you’re entitled to be cynical. I’ve had three girls (!!) all lie about being pregnant soon after break ups, so I’m cynical af about their lies and manipulation these days.
How? Lol, you know how! Nyuk nyuk nyuk
Clarify if pregnant.
Demand paternity test.
Good luck. If it’s positive, get a DNA test.
She is lying to you to make you run back to her. Do not reply anymore and if she does magically show up pregnant demand a paternity test. She is getting emotional and stopping bc is causing the spotting , discharge and the craziness in her head. You dodged a bullet my friend.
Agree to nothing. Apply to get a court orders so that if it is yours, everything happens on the record.
You should consider wearing a condom vs trusting that they are on the pill. People lie sometimes.
She’s not pregnant. If she is, it’s likely not yours and you need to demand a paternity test before agreeing to anything. The spotting IS from stopping BC.
It’s fine, it’s extremely improbable. She just wants attention and to get a rise out of you. But take this as a learning opportunity for future relationships where you don’t want a baby. 🙂