Location: MA, US
I’ve been caring for an ex-roommate’s cat (3yo British Longhair) for about 1.5 years. Situation overview:
* Originally, he asked to leave the cat with me “for 2 weeks.” This later changed (via text) to “a summer,” then “about a year.” I agreed each time.
* There was no formal foster/boarding contract.
* I’ve been doing all the daily care for free. He reimbursed the cat’s expenses (food, litter, etc.) — except for the past 6 months where he’s ignored ~$900 worth of receipts I sent.
* When the cat was sick, I always asked his consent before vet visits. The vet bills went on his credit card; he handles insurance reimbursements (which I don’t have access to).
Three months ago, I asked about long-term plans. He ignored me.Last week, I followed up — now he’s demanding $6,000 to “let me keep her,” claiming it’s compensation for his original breeder purchase (~$4k) + vet bills (incurred under my care; it’s inflated because he hasn’t submitted some for reimbursement).
I don’t have that kind of money, but what worries me more is the cat’s wellbeing if he takes her back:
* When he first dropped her off, she was in rough shape: severely matted to the skin (needed medical shaving), Giardia infection, overweight from free-feeding dry food only, no vaccines, no microchip, and minimal enrichment. I have vet records from that time.
* His apartment was filthy, and he shut her out of his bedroom (she’s a very emotionally needy cat), ignored and complained about her meowing. Once he even left a 6th floor window open — the cat slipped out and I had to retrieve her from the ledge.
In contrast, I’ve spent the last year+ nursing her back to health:
* She’s healthy, losing weight steadily, and now has structure (wet + dry food schedule, daily play, rotating toys, outdoor stroller time).
* She’s extremely bonded to me.
* Her microchip was registered under my name during that first vet visit, since I’ve been her primary caretaker all this time.
I love this cat, but I’m exhausted. I’m allergic, and caring for her hasn’t been easy. Still, I genuinely worry that if she returns to him, she’ll be neglected again.
I know she’s legally his property, but at the same time she’s an alive creature not some luxury good he can buy and toss to the side. During all our conversations he ignores questions about if he intends to support her current habits, bring her with him when he leaves the country again, etc. and goes straight to the $$$. This + with how he treated her in the past makes me very concerned for her welfare and feel trapped between:
* Paying an unreasonable sum to keep her
* Handing her back to someone I genuinely believe can’t or won’t care for her properly
I don’t want a lawsuit. I just want to do what’s right for the cat, without putting myself at legal risk.
Do I have any say here?Can I insist on welfare-based handover conditions?Can I surrender her to a shelter if I truly believe it’s in her best interest?Any advice is appreciated — thank you.
Comments
Don’t give him any significant amount of money. Offer him nothing and chances are he won’t even bother to come get the cat.
NAL. I had some clients with similar issues in Texas. It can be difficult for someone to get a pet “back” because police just don’t want to deal with it.
He effectively abandoned her when he stopped paying for her stuff. From now on, act as if the cat is yours and keep documenting everything. Make sure to let the vet’s office know that she is yours (and why – he abandoned her!), and make appropriate changes to the payment and contact info. Document everything you pay for, and save the messages where he was ignoring you trying to get him to pay for the cat.
$6k is some BS, he’s just trying to squeeze money out of you. The longer you are the one taking care of her, paying for her things, and in charge of her care, the better your chances if he does try to get the cops or legal system involved.
NAL. He wants you to buy his cat for $6k. So he agrees it’s his cat then? Perfect. In that case you’ll be sending him an invoice. 1.5 years of boarding at $30 a day is about $16,000. In addition, you spent $900 on vet bills and $X on food or whatever else that hasn’t been reimbursed yet. So he owes about $17,000 which you will expect to be paid at the time he comes to pick up the cat. If he doesn’t pay, then you’re going to sue him for it and use his attempt at selling the cat to you as proof that you are not the owner of this cat and he is responsible for your time and expenses in boarding the cat for the last year and a half.
Of course, you’re willing to drop the whole thing if he surrenders ownership of the cat to you.
Also this is just my personal thoughts:
Tell him you’ll pay $6k as soon as he pays you the $6375 he owes you for her care. $10/day for 1.5 years plus $900 over the last few months. Lmao
Bump $10/day to $25 (which would make sense for a cat with medical needs) and altogether he owes you $14,587.50
Do a counter calculation: how much food, water, vet costs, toys, cat litter,….. have you bought for the cat? Plus the time you spent on the cat (× more than minimal wage) when you “only” were the cat sitter.
I think, if you calculate well, this will exceed his claim and it will be his cheaper option to give the cat officially to you.
Sorry for three comments but make sure your locks are changed and he can’t do something sneaky to physically take the cat. It doesn’t seem like he wants her, so I’m not saying he would do this, but make sure he’s not able to get back into the residence
I am sorry this is happening to you, I wish I could think of something great, but I cannot. I hope it works out well for you and the cat.