Location: New Hampshire
I’m in New Hampshire with my 3 children (6, 3, 1). My ex-wife and I separated and had divorce finalized in the middle of July. I currently pay $1060 bi-weekly ($2300 per month), maintain her on my health insurance ($350 per month), we have 50/50 custody, and we split all child expenses (~$2200 per month including childcare and child expenses). The original court recommended amount was $3200 per month but we agreed to lower it via mediation (an amicable 2hr session).
Now, 6-7 weeks later she is threatening to file (said she did this morning) to increase child support to the original amount and claimed I am neglecting them. Over the last 6-7 weeks I have had them 65% of the time due to her ongoing mental health challenges (she spent a week at an inpatient facility, asks me to pick them up a day early frequently and drop them off a day later at times). She has also mentioned a few times via text that she wants to give me full custody because she can’t take care of them, yells at them all the time, and has almost committed suicide a number of times. I am a very present and engaged father, bring them to school, appointments, etc.
My biggest concern is (1) her neglect claim resulting in my custody time being affected and (2) child support increasing and (3) their safety. I have started working extra at my employer, bringing in an additional $500 per month since the divorce.
Are 1 or 2 likely to happen? I do have calls out to a few attorneys in my area and a consult on Monday, but the anxiety is insane right now so wanted to post here. I’ve also been thinking about seeking full custody or at least an increase on my end due to her ongoing challenges with mental health and drinking. I am in recovery myself from mental health and substance use (going on 8.5 years), so I do understand her challenges as well.
Comments
It sounds like you are handling a very tough situation and doing your best to stay steady for your kids. From what you’ve described, the fact that you’re taking on more time, covering all the responsibilities, and have written evidence of her asking you to step in will likely work in your favor rather than against you. Courts generally care most about the children’s best interests, and your consistency and involvement show you’re providing stability. Neglect claims can be stressful, but if you have documentation like texts, records of pick-ups, and proof of your engagement, it will help counter any false narrative.
As far as support, since you already had an agreement through mediation that lowered the guideline amount, it is possible she could petition for a change, but the court would also consider the reality of custody and her ability to care for the kids. If she is giving you extra time and even suggesting full custody, that’s something you should absolutely bring up with your lawyer. The anxiety is understandable, but having documentation and getting ahead of this with legal support puts you in a strong position.