for context: i’m in my first year at university right now, and so for the past few months I finally got to experience living independently and without my mother who, as much as I love her, has sheltered me a lot throughout my life. I assume this is partly what made me even more eager to ‘get out there’ and actually live life with no limits.
I’ve had quite a few different illicit drugs over the past year and it’s been an amazing, i love being high and not having to be inside my own head all the time. I love not having to think about anything. but that’s also exactly what I’m scared of
as fun as it is I really don’t want to get too reliant on it. there’s a few drugs I absolutely know I won’t touch (heroin, meth, and crack), but even with the ‘lighter’ ones I’ve tried I feel like I’m already easily building up a reliance.
I’ve been thinking about valium a lot ever since I’ve tried it for the first time, whenever I’m anxious I constantly think of how I could just take a valium and I wouldn’t need to have a panic attack or anything. I’ve also tried coke (which I’ve always said is the hardest I’ll ever go) for the first time on my birthday a few days ago and it was also great fun but now I’m just constantly thinking about doing another line to feel that good again 😕
I’m not sure what I’m looking to get from this post, I guess just some advice from someone older and wiser. I get huge health anxiety so if you drive home the things this stuff actually does to you it might help. pls be kind. thanks in advance
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I have many addicts in my family. Having to watch them self destruct and hate every minute of their own actions it’s something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Obviously, these are ‘harder’ drugs, but it started from lighter things when they were young.
With that being said. I’m 29, and what I would say is successful for my age. I’ve definitely had my share of coke and pill binges. I stopped partaking in these maybe 4-5 years ago.
I think there’s 3 types of people in this world regarding addiction. Some are not addicts, and don’t think about a substance after they try it. some have the potential to become addicts (me) and some can’t put it down once they try it. I’m not going to sit here and tell you to stop. I learned a lot about myself when I was younger, but I made a fuck ton of mistakes with that.
The fact that you’re asking about it on here should make you question your ability to maintain self control. Having been there I can tell you I wouldn’t change a thing about my past, I needed to experience these things because of my upbringing to come to an understanding and appreciation of my childhood. While I’m proud of the person I am today, and the character some of those experiences gave me, I probably could have built that up with a much easier path.